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Rats
 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2020-02-24 21:24 [#02595756]
Points: 6096 Status: Regular



Got to my grandmother’s house tonight
Opened the kitchen door
And there’s two big fuck off rats in the fucking kitchen
Fuck me


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2020-02-24 21:37 [#02595758]
Points: 23549 Status: Moderator | Followup to umbroman3: #02595756 | Show recordbag



I live in the countryside and was showing a friend's
daughter the horses and she suddenly ran off excitedly
pointing and shouting "Bunnies!" and when I saw what she was
looking at, it was a few massive rats eating the feed we put
out for the Pheasants.

Your thread title also reminded me of this classic
game.


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2020-02-24 22:03 [#02595762]
Points: 6096 Status: Regular



Bunnies lol

My dad just came over with some good old trusty rat poison.
Hope it clears them out


 

online belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2020-02-24 22:49 [#02595767]
Points: 6239 Status: Lurker



we've got rats hanging round the smokers' shelter here, they
can move some speed! first one i saw was a couple of months
back, thought it was a squirrel til i clocked the tail


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2020-02-24 22:53 [#02595768]
Points: 6096 Status: Regular | Followup to belb: #02595767



Little bastards


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-02-25 00:42 [#02595769]
Points: 3417 Status: Regular



We had a rat in my last WG in Berlin. For quite some time.
It came into the apartment after a party, when some asshole
left the door open. My room was the first room in the
apartment. I heard some crackling that night. Next day I
told my roommates that I heard some weird noises and that it
must be a mouse or something. They didn't believe me.

But after a few weeks that bastard destroyed the couch in
the living room and the dishwasher in the kitchen and
everyone was pissed. We were hearing that bastard, but we
couldn't see it. And it smelled weird. Some build some
humane traps and shit but that didn't work. I could smell
that fucker everywhere. I hate rats. I told my roommates, if
they ever see something they should get me.

So, one day one of my roommates shouted from the kitchen.
and i knew the time has come. I grabbed some wood and went
into the kitchen. My roomie pointed at the oven. he was
always the alpha male macho type but at this exact moment he
was no help. i didnt need any help anyway, i just wanted to
kill this little piece of shit. i turned the oven to the
side and the rat came out and wanted to get to the other
side of the kitchen. it was quite a big fellow. we always
thought it might be a mouse, we hadn't seen it, just heard
the noise.

i was angry as fuck. i took the wooden stick and slammed it
down on the rat right when it ran next to the dishwasher.
the rat was trapped, squeezed between my stick and the
dishwasher. it screamed like a little human. it stared at
me. eyes ripped open. it screamed louder. it was a very big
fellow. i tried to press the stick down, but i had problems
getting a good hold of it. and i was afraid that if i get
the stick up to get a good punch the rat would escape. and
for the love of god, i didn't wanted that to happen. so i
pressed. and pressed. and the rat screamed. you could hear
it through the whole apartment. suddenly everyone was in the
kitchen staring at the rat. and at me. and at the rat
screaming.

i was like: stop staring! i need some help here


 

online Tony Danza from Fabulous Hollywood on 2020-02-25 00:57 [#02595770]
Points: 3420 Status: Regular



more rat story

I must know how this ends


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-25 01:29 [#02595772]
Points: 23981 Status: Addict



re: humane trapping previously on zilty:

LAZY_TITLE


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-25 01:29 [#02595773]
Points: 23981 Status: Addict



rats might have enough turbo boost to escape even a 40gal
bin tho


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-02-25 04:26 [#02595777]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



I saw a dead rat in the middle of the road the other day, I
thought oh yeah we have a conservative government for a long
time now


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2020-02-25 09:40 [#02595779]
Points: 6096 Status: Regular



Woke up to two dead rats in the kitchen
One dead from poison, the other from a mouse trap
Hooray


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-02-25 14:19 [#02595783]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



i saw a cat with a live mouse into his mouth weeks ago, he
let him go on the ground upside down for a while, the little
mouse kinda raised his arm for what i saw as a request for
help afterwards, then he got back on his legs but was closed
in a corner by the cat, so he caught the mouse between his
teeth again and start doing what he did, i did nothing to
help despite all the laments and felt shit for that


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-02-25 15:29 [#02595785]
Points: 3417 Status: Regular | Followup to DADONCK: #02595769



so, i was squeezing the beast really hard. it was slowly
getting squashed. but not dying, for fucks sake. it felt
like time slowed down. i just wanted to get over with it,
really. it gasped for some air. and then was whining
like a little child. and i realised im about to murder an
animal…

it was lying half on its back, looking up to me. then
suddenly, it seemed like it lost its conscience. but i wasnt
shure if it was dead. maybe it played dead? i was thinking
of just stomping on it with my foot, but i was only wearing
socks. i read before about all the sicknesses these rodents
can give you. also this was a smart city rat. it did not
fell for barrel on top, put a tube, smear on some peanut
butter traps. my roomies build a few of them. no chance. we
also tried to poison it. it wouldn't touch any of that. but
it nibbled a hole through my cornflakes box…

i felt bad so i shouted at the people around me to get a
stick and spike it through its head. man, that took forever
to get someone else to actually do something. they were all
passively staring at the rat…

finally, one of my roommates found a small metal rod and
stood next to me. i was like: what are you waiting for?
stick it though its head!! i felt like a chef doctor who is
operating a team of assistants with he aim of killing the
patient

he finally, hesitantly stuck the rod through its head. that
made it even worse.

the exact moment i was shure the rat was dead i left the
kitchen and went to my room. i left the task of disposing
the body to the crew. my work was done. i wasnt proud of it.
but i was glad it was over

my then girlfriend was lying on the bed in my room. she told
me she heard everything



 

online Tony Danza from Fabulous Hollywood on 2020-02-25 15:40 [#02595787]
Points: 3420 Status: Regular



now THIS is FOREPLAY!!!!


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-02-25 16:13 [#02595791]
Points: 1707 Status: Lurker



Not nearly as harrowing as any other (rat's) tale in this
thread but my ex-partner had a house in Swansea, which was
in a row of houses built in some kind of sheer, steep hill.
It had a garden, but you'd come out of the kitchen outside,
and then have to go up these really steep steps to get to
the garden bit. So I went one morning, I'm going up
these steep, steep steps, and then as my eye's got level
with the ground ... level (I've no capacity for
storytelling) there was just this fucking dirty great dead
rat laid out like a foot away, at eye-level. I believe I
actually screamed.


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2020-02-25 22:57 [#02595821]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular



i had rats all over the place when i was a kid. one behind
the cooker. a bunch in the ceiling. found a dead one sort of
nailed behind a big sheet of metal when we first moved in.

1) i had 2 brown ducklings that i would let follow me around
the house and they would sit on my head while i watched tv
or whatever. they were really cool but a rat fucking savaged
one in the night. it made me really anti rats.

2) i was at a friends house. a sort of converted mill next
to a river. in the flowers and shrubbery there was this
small cute rat and i bent down to pick it up. the strange
thing was it was standing on top of a dead rat that was
squashed entirely flat. i was in the process of trying to
understand that. i touched the rat and it bit me really hard
on the skin between my thumb and finger and it was swinging
off of my hand biting me.

3) mum battered a rat to death with a piece of wood in the
kitchen. i never saw that happen but it sounded gnarly

4) i saw a rat and i chased it and threw a paving slab at
it. the corner of the square slab landed on its head
planting the rats head straight into the soil. the slab was
stuck upright while the rest of the rats body squirmed and
flipped around. felt pretty sorry for it


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2020-02-25 23:06 [#02595822]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular



5) there was one that just came in thru the window while me
and a friend were playing computer games. it surprised us
and we threw a bong at it and it ran back out the window
haha

6) was listening to music and watching the rain outside and
i see a massive rat run across the road and get squashed by
a truck. that looked really gory


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-02-26 01:37 [#02595826]
Points: 23981 Status: Addict



once i had to wave my arms and yell angrily at a woodpecker
until he left.


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2020-02-28 10:38 [#02595910]
Points: 3417 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02595787



;)


 


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