Every time you masturbate God kills a kitten | xltronic messageboard
 
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Every time you masturbate God kills a kitten
 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 12:50 [#00177479]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



Please think of the kittens.


 

offline nanotech from Sukavasti Amitaba Pureland (United States) on 2002-04-16 12:52 [#00177484]
Points: 3727 Status: Regular



isn't that the soglan to a local seattle synthpop band?


 

offline Sido Dyas from a computer on 2002-04-16 12:53 [#00177485]
Points: 8876 Status: Lurker



again ?


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-04-16 12:53 [#00177487]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



why bring this up again, Salma?


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 12:54 [#00177489]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



i'm not familiar with local seattle synthpop bands


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 12:54 [#00177490]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



lol when did i bring it up b4?


 

offline nanotech from Sukavasti Amitaba Pureland (United States) on 2002-04-16 12:55 [#00177491]
Points: 3727 Status: Regular | Followup to Salma Hayek: #00177489



then where did you get this from? that's infact on the back
of their t-shirts...with a pic of a little kitten on the
front...


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 12:55 [#00177493]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular



..I hate kittens anyway..


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2002-04-16 12:56 [#00177494]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



their bones get caught in my teeth


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-04-16 12:56 [#00177495]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to Salma Hayek: #00177490



browse topics, the last time it was called "don't
masturbate" or "don't masterbate" and had that link. Check
it out


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 12:57 [#00177496]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular | Followup to nanotech: #00177491



my mate sent me this piece of advice in an e-mail and i
thought i should share it with my fellow RDJ fans, no Seatle
bands involved.


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 12:57 [#00177498]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular



What is worse is that
every time you light a cigarette with a candle an elve
dies!!

Think about the elves!!


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 12:59 [#00177506]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular | Followup to supreme: #00177498



elves are short...


 

offline raimons from Stockholm (Sweden) on 2002-04-16 13:03 [#00177514]
Points: 4266 Status: Lurker









?


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 13:05 [#00177517]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular | Followup to Salma Hayek: #00177506



I know!
stop lighting cigarettes with candles!
buy matches!
Buy a lighter!
stop smoking!



 

offline IronLung from the 91fwy in soCAL (United States) on 2002-04-16 13:06 [#00177522]
Points: 8032 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



those POOR elves....I ALWAYS use candles....=)


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2002-04-16 13:06 [#00177523]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



before matches were invented, people *had* to use candles to
light up...elves are prolly all dead now


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 13:07 [#00177524]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



i dn't smoke cigarettes


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 13:08 [#00177526]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular | Followup to IronLung: #00177522



ooooh.... you,.....you.......!!!

*starts crying*


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 13:11 [#00177528]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



come on whats more important elves or kittens?


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 13:12 [#00177529]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular | Followup to Bob Mcbob: #00177523



matches were invented before cigarettes were.....


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 13:12 [#00177531]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular | Followup to Salma Hayek: #00177528



ELVES!!!!!!


 

offline shibumi from United States on 2002-04-16 13:15 [#00177538]
Points: 359 Status: Lurker



Sooooo, if my girlfriend masterbates me and I masterbate
her, does a kitten still die? What if sex is just mutual
masterbation does that count? And, I mean, you have to have
a cigarette after sex so the elves are going to die too.
What if you light a cigarette with a candl while
masterbating, who dies first?


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 13:18 [#00177543]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



i dn't believe in elves, and if they were real i'd try to
eradicate them by taking up smoking and paying a visit to my
local candle shop....thats right !


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-04-16 13:18 [#00177547]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



heh, heh, you should really check out that old topic it was
one of the funniest threads I've seen on this board.


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 13:21 [#00177554]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular | Followup to shibumi: #00177538



well since elves are either not real or extinct the kitten
dies first....and if ur gf masturbates u the kitten will die
and if u masturbate her at the same time TWO kittens will
die...so avoid that


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 13:24 [#00177562]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular



yes,and use a lighter for that cigarette,
even if you don't believe in elves,
you're sure you don't kill any..


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 13:33 [#00177586]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular | Followup to supreme: #00177562



ok u cut down on masturbation by 50% and i won't start
lighting cigs with candles ok?


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-16 13:42 [#00177602]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



shit i just looked up the thread where the exact same issue
was disscussed,,, sorry...and cut down on the masturbating
so i can increase my own with a clean concsious


 

offline supreme from Antwerp (Belgium) on 2002-04-16 13:44 [#00177607]
Points: 5444 Status: Regular



deal!


 

offline affinityX from Illinois (United States) on 2002-04-16 14:49 [#00177852]
Points: 79 Status: Lurker



hey... what do you mean you dont believe in elves?...
shit... i dont believe in kittens... and you know what...
ive been smoking for 4 years and i cant touch a match or a
lighter cuz i can never find one... what if i light it with
a candle each time?... and what if i drip hot wax on myself
while masterbating and lighting a cigarette with a candle...
now only would a kitten and an elf die... but i would die
too...


 

offline affinityX from Illinois (United States) on 2002-04-16 14:52 [#00177864]
Points: 79 Status: Lurker



not that i do either one of them... lol... and dont
worry... i cant stand candles or kittens... lol... SAVE THE
ELVES!!! FUCK KITTENS... they shit everywhere


 


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