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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:05 [#00152358]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker
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i have an old notebook that i used to write in, sorta like a journal but not so serious. It was while i was going through the worst period in my life, last year. reading through it, about 99% is gibble, but then there is that 1% that i kinda think is actually decent. well, i don't know who would exactly read it or how i would feel if others criticized any of it but everyone on this mb seems to be about the brightest fucking people with tastes fairly similar to my own, here in cyberspace, and since i don't know any of you personally so it's not like your view of me would change much because of any of it. anyhow, i feel i need to get this out and have someone else tell me what they think.
March 16th, 2001;
Can you understand that we'll live out our efficiency someday down the road in our lives? Gone in history's pages of those books they taught in school that ya read at school, yo. Remember when what happened yesterday was just a memory of what ya used to be? But who you are now can be revealed behind door #3. And you're afraid of what it might be. All the while singing like you're really happy when you're really scared. Crazy doesn't even apply to you now. Though how desperate you might seem, destiny's aspiring to higher dreams set by minds unseen comically mimivking their neural network wiring, multiple consistency upon receiving the ratings of vitality at it's weakest point before all out war between two loco dawgs, ese.
i'd like to post more, they are all pretty much like that one, in chronological order.
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-03-31 22:07 [#00152365]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular
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i'll pretend to have read all that:
right on!
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:09 [#00152367]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #00152365
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umm...thanks?!
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Darth manchu
from Cambridge (United Kingdom) on 2002-03-31 22:09 [#00152369]
Points: 1897 Status: Regular
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erm....... great.
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:11 [#00152373]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to Darth manchu: #00152369
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seriously, you can tell me how you really feel about it, i don't care. i already feel better just getting it out there.
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Darth manchu
from Cambridge (United Kingdom) on 2002-03-31 22:14 [#00152377]
Points: 1897 Status: Regular
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Its on a level i cannot comprehend.
For i am pissed of my titties.
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:19 [#00152383]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to Darth manchu: #00152377
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ok, i'll let the cat out of the bag, i was stoned when i wrote the 1%.
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The_Funkmaster
from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-03-31 22:22 [#00152386]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker
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I used to write poetry... haven't really been that inspired lately to do so though...
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-03-31 22:25 [#00152389]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular
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i am a published poet - my poems are FANTASTIC
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:26 [#00152391]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00152386
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i guess with out the pain and suffering there isn't much left to inspire me anymore.
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Co-existence
from Bergen (Norway) on 2002-03-31 22:27 [#00152395]
Points: 3388 Status: Regular
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It would probably work best as rap lyrics...
I think the former british band Earwig said it best when thay said: Straight face, but under my skin I am laughing
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The_Funkmaster
from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-03-31 22:27 [#00152397]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker | Followup to EVOL: #00152391
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yeah same here... I find it really hard to write about happiness, and I'm happy now... depression and sadness however you just need to write about... I find it theraputic... I guess when you're happy you don't need to do anything, cause you're already happy... when you're sad, writing it down might be a bit of a therapy for it...
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Omneignotumus
on 2002-03-31 22:29 [#00152399]
Points: 506 Status: Lurker
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"There is not one wise man in twenty that will praise himself. " - William Shakespeare
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:32 [#00152403]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00152397
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yeah, just posting it was very theraputic for me. i've tried to write about love ya know but it just doesn't work for some reason, i don't know why not.
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The_Funkmaster
from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-03-31 22:33 [#00152406]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker
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I've wrote some stuff about love, stuff that I thought was really good at the time, but if I took it out now it probably wouldn't be... but I even think most of that was inspired by failed love and that kinda stuff, so it's still the inspiration of sadness and stuff...
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:35 [#00152409]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00152406
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i haven't even been in a long enough or serious enough relationship to write about any aspect of love positive or negative.
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The_Funkmaster
from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-03-31 22:36 [#00152412]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker
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yeah same here, but not really love always, just strong feelings, and break ups... and then tv shows and movies have inspired me and stuff... it's not all about me...
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 22:47 [#00152436]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00152412
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tv and movies, i've tried to pull from those as well but it's just blah....
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D-Hex
from Blue Springs Missouri (United States) on 2002-03-31 23:25 [#00152505]
Points: 871 Status: Lurker
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I really like poems with the word 'yo' in them! hehe.
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 23:26 [#00152509]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to D-Hex: #00152505
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i try and show my roots ya know, tru to tha streets, word nigga! keepin' it real, real dumb.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2002-03-31 23:27 [#00152511]
Points: 11010 Status: Lurker
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Here is a poem I wrote.... ----------------------------------------------
Dark Betrayl
Around, all around, the dark memories gather. My dread grows as the stroke of death falls against my naked soul.
It wounds me, and darkly my vitae drips to the wicked earth that is my prison. In numbness I hang my head while the end of life takes my hand. Now alone, my blood falls upon bloody eyes.
This is your love
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pachi
from yo momma (United States) on 2002-03-31 23:27 [#00152512]
Points: 8984 Status: Lurker
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i got a 108% in my poetry class last semester. what a waste of time that class was.
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D-Hex
from Blue Springs Missouri (United States) on 2002-03-31 23:27 [#00152514]
Points: 871 Status: Lurker
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here is one of mine, its kinda silly.
Boredom runs through the veins While in a room when it rains, A window the void between wet and dry While blinding headlights pass on by, The warmth and comfort in my cell Is the same warmth and comfort found in hell, The anxiety builds and before i cried I passed through the door and went outside.
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pachi
from yo momma (United States) on 2002-03-31 23:33 [#00152528]
Points: 8984 Status: Lurker
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no offense to those who are poets. it's just my experience.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2002-03-31 23:36 [#00152534]
Points: 11010 Status: Lurker
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Well anyway, if you want to create your own Goth Poem, like I did......check this site out,
http://www.deadlounge.com/poetry/created.html
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 23:41 [#00152539]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #00152511
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cool dude here's my poem that is similar but much much longer than yours...hehe:
April 4th, 2001;
I don't want to be here, not just here but anywhere from here. I can't do it. Man, I can't do anything. Why should I go throught with it at all anymore, it's seriously not worth it. I can't handle it. I don't want it. I can't take it. I am weak. I am a weed growing throught a crack in the sidewalk. There is no happiness in this world, no joy. Only pain and misery exists on this planet. No right just wrong. No true love, only lust instead. Every moment spent cringeing in disgust, riddled with guilt by gluttoness over-induldgence. Seething with fear, brimming wiht hate. The universe packed so tightly into space, constant pressure exerted on the smallest amounts of matter. The very fabric of reality stretched around all of creation. Conciesness never ceases, for you are the hands on the clock of time. The stroke of midnight brings doom across the land, spreading darkness further along, with sadness prevailing in minds unchanged, molded to be forever the same. Escape lives to be brought down and taken away, leaving with it any chance of hope. There is no survival. WATCH CAREFULLY, THINK LOGICALLY and RESPOND ACCORDINGLY!
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-03-31 23:45 [#00152547]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular | Followup to Omneignotumus: #00152399
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"people ask you for criticism, but they only want praise" - W. Somerset Maugham
"men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. how many of them will own up to a lack of humour?" - Frank Colby
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D-Hex
from Blue Springs Missouri (United States) on 2002-03-31 23:48 [#00152553]
Points: 871 Status: Lurker
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K heres my second and last -
A feeling of envy towards the masses Is a feeling that is felt throughout. The feeling can change at any give moment And be granted a new personal route. Feelings reside in the pits of the soul Only to be let out once weak, But when ones strong, they do realize When that feeling is just a leak. This process is valuable to understand Especially during times of ponder, For when one analyzes demons exist So let them live no longer. Now look towards the violet light And the cyan water it reflects upon. Remeber how simple everything can be When one's thoughts are free to run.
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pachi
from yo momma (United States) on 2002-03-31 23:48 [#00152554]
Points: 8984 Status: Lurker
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i like the sayings of Tao
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-03-31 23:52 [#00152564]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to D-Hex: #00152553
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D-Hex your poems are really good. very refined.
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-03-31 23:59 [#00152579]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular
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"when there is freedom from mechanical conditioning, there is simplicity." - Bruce Lee
"thinking is not freedom - all thought is partial; it can never be total. thought is the response of memory and memory is always partial, because memory is the result of experience. so, thought is the reaction of a mind conditioned by experience. know the emptiness and tranquility of your mind. be empty; have no style or form." - Bruce Lee
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-04-01 00:02 [#00152585]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #00152579
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i dig it.
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D-Hex
from Blue Springs Missouri (United States) on 2002-04-01 00:34 [#00152661]
Points: 871 Status: Lurker
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Thank you evol
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-04-01 00:38 [#00152667]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to D-Hex: #00152661
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anytime, bro!
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-04-01 00:39 [#00152668]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular
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well i never - springheel jack's album "busy curious thirsty" is actually from an 18th century poem...
"busy, curious, thirsty fly / drink with me, and drink as i" - William Oldys
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D-Hex
from Blue Springs Missouri (United States) on 2002-04-01 00:43 [#00152676]
Points: 871 Status: Lurker
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Has any heard of the poem, 'Eulogy for my father, who is dead'?
I think its very lovely
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-04-01 00:48 [#00152680]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker
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i don't have any background on poetry or much of any writing for that matter, sorry to disappoint you.
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windowlicker
from Nashvegas on 2002-04-01 00:49 [#00152682]
Points: 565 Status: Lurker
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Here is a Poem for you.
There was a bird upon the snow. Its foot was hurt this i know. I gently fed it crumbs of bread. Then I smashed its little head.
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-04-01 00:51 [#00152687]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular | Followup to windowlicker: #00152682
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wow, that's like, really, HARDCORE
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-04-01 00:55 [#00152696]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to windowlicker: #00152682
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would that qualify as 'black' poetry?!
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REFLEX
from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-04-01 01:09 [#00152735]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular
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teenage poetry! is there nothing worse!
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-04-01 01:11 [#00152739]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular | Followup to REFLEX: #00152735
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REFLEX has spoken sense! The clouds have parted! Sun shines! Look! I can see the rays! Praise Allah!!
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REFLEX
from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-04-01 01:12 [#00152747]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular
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no shit. teenage poetry is the worst ever .... its lame, its non talented! its boring! its angst ridden! its been all written the same over and over for years! lets rejoice in the shit that people think is "art!"
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-04-01 01:13 [#00152753]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker
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wha wha WHAT!? who is the teenage poet?
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REFLEX
from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-04-01 01:14 [#00152760]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular
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Every teenager who writes poetry. 99.99% of the time its the worst laughable shit ive read in my life... now where is the real poets!
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-04-01 01:15 [#00152764]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular | Followup to EVOL: #00152753
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don't worry EVOL - i think REFLEX is referring to windowlicker.
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windowlicker
from Nashvegas on 2002-04-01 01:15 [#00152765]
Points: 565 Status: Lurker
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Yea no shit.
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windowlicker
from Nashvegas on 2002-04-01 01:15 [#00152766]
Points: 565 Status: Lurker
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My poem was a joke man.
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2002-04-01 01:20 [#00152773]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker
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i was only ready to defend the fact that i'm not a teenager, i know my stuff is repetative and cheesy. but it's mine so whatever.
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2002-04-01 01:21 [#00152777]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular | Followup to windowlicker: #00152766
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yeah, so was my critique
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