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Joke of the day
 

offline 010101 from Vancouver (Canada) on 2008-01-17 14:43 [#02164581]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular



How do you get a fat girl into bed?


 

offline 010101 from Vancouver (Canada) on 2008-01-17 14:44 [#02164582]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular



peice of cake



 

offline 010101 from Vancouver (Canada) on 2008-01-17 14:44 [#02164583]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular



What do old ladies taste like?



 

offline 010101 from Vancouver (Canada) on 2008-01-17 14:45 [#02164584]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular



depends


 

offline Sano on 2008-01-17 14:56 [#02164589]
Points: 2502 Status: Lurker



LLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEeeeeewwwwWWWWLLLLL !

:::falls off chair:::


 

offline J198 from Maastricht (Netherlands, The) on 2008-01-17 15:30 [#02164613]
Points: 7342 Status: Lurker | Followup to Sano: #02164589 | Show recordbag



u mean FOCL!!!!!!!!!!!!111


 

offline thatne from United States on 2008-01-18 08:34 [#02164776]
Points: 3026 Status: Lurker



what do you call a cow on the ground?


 

offline thatne from United States on 2008-01-18 08:34 [#02164777]
Points: 3026 Status: Lurker



ground beef


 

offline Skink from A cesspool in eden on 2008-01-18 08:47 [#02164778]
Points: 7483 Status: Lurker | Followup to thatne: #02164777



HAR HAR.


 

offline pigster from melbs on 2008-01-18 08:55 [#02164779]
Points: 4480 Status: Lurker



this is amazing 10/10


 

offline freqy on 2008-01-18 19:11 [#02164980]
Points: 18724 Status: Regular | Show recordbag





"Hey, I know the bloke who writes all the jokes that go
inside the Christmas crackers around the united kingdom."

"Pull the other one."

thats a shit joke ....Great I must remember to include it
the crackers for next christmas.

:)
.



 

offline Sano on 2008-01-18 19:47 [#02164996]
Points: 2502 Status: Lurker | Followup to J198: #02164613



I didnt's know that one b4!


 

offline freqy on 2008-01-19 02:43 [#02165040]
Points: 18724 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



hahha thats a great response to my joke that took me 2 days
to write little nazi...:) .....hahaha

i made that joke up y know ...with the double twist at the
end ...me being the guy that writes the shit jokes. hahaha
im so funny....ehm. :3

by the way, what have you done with 'big '?



 

offline NewSkoolScience from Outer Bongolia on 2008-01-19 08:46 [#02165088]
Points: 457 Status: Lurker




My favourite cracker jokes:

What's the difference between a chicken?
One of it's legs is both the same.

What's green and melts in the mouth?
A leper's penis.



 

offline CowCudIsATwin on 2008-01-20 23:40 [#02165813]
Points: 173 Status: Lurker | Followup to NewSkoolScience: #02165088



My favourite cracker joke:

What's the difference between a lesbian and ritz cracker?

One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2008-01-21 02:19 [#02165838]
Points: 21475 Status: Regular



Once there was a group of 5 Care Bears. They were trying to
decide who's turn it was to go down the Fun Slide!
"It's Huggles turn!"
"Oh, no, you should have a turn now Fluffers, I
insist".
And so, each bear kept generously insisting that another go
next.
Soon they noticed a maaaagic leprechaun peeking out
at them through Huggles's's's enormous tuft of crotch hair.
And with a wink of his eye and a finger snap, he floated on
a trail of sparkling caviar, magically increasing in size
until he was standing right before them, now exactly
as tall as the mean height of their 5 succulent gonads
(meticulously measured with quark precision)
"""Ta da! What will ye b!e wish?in' fur thane; each of ye
g.ets a wish" said the leprechaun." said the leprechaun"
said the leprechaun.
"Wow, we get wishes?" croaked Huggles titaniumly through his
artificially evolved cyber esophagus. "But I insist you not
have to do all that work. Actually you should grant yourself
wishes!"
"Yes", agreed Fluffers in morse code which nobody knew how
to decode, "I insist that you get to have a wish mr.
leprechaun :) !".
At this point the other bears who were all kind of shadowy
in the background due to being barely important characters
with unknown names or appearances chimed in in agreement,
"Yeah!" (one of them was named qrter though).
"Ye... ye be freein' me from my leprechaun wish grantin'
dooties?" the leprechaun asked shyly in disbelief "Ye... ye
be allowin' me to have wishes?"
...Realizing this, an expression of immense evil slowly
dawned on his face and this song began playing as
he gazed up at them with a deeply furrowed brow and wide
grin (only the song was less sucky and more evil).
For the punchline of this joke, the leprechaun then used his
wishes to wish unimaginable horrors upon the carebears for
all eternity, forcing them to live forever in hell


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2008-01-21 02:23 [#02165839]
Points: 21475 Status: Regular



ha ha, 'what's the difference between a chicken?' is funny
because only one thing is offered for comparison.


 

offline rockenjohnny from champagne socialism (Australia) on 2008-01-21 03:02 [#02165848]
Points: 7983 Status: Lurker



there was a brilliant artist, who one day lost his painting
arm.

he was so devastated that he decided to take his own life.

so the man climbed to the top of his apartment block.

as he began to climb over the balcony he saw a man below
with no arms at all.

he was skipping down the middle of the road.

the artist had to know why this man was so cheerful, so he
ran back downstairs.

upon catching up with the armless man, the artist asked,
'why are you so happy?'

to which the man replied

'oh, im not happy. im dancing because i have an itchy bum.'


 

offline rudster from the glasgow on 2008-01-21 06:47 [#02165894]
Points: 3169 Status: Lurker



Whats the worst thing about raping a toddler?

Cleaning the blood stains from your clown shoes


 

offline Raz0rBlade_uk on 2008-01-21 07:25 [#02165902]
Points: 12540 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



what's the difference between acne and a bishop?

acne doesn't come on an eight year olds face.


 

offline Zephyr Twin from ΔΔΔ on 2008-01-22 02:35 [#02166192]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



why did the chicken toss the chode?


 

offline Zephyr Twin from ΔΔΔ on 2008-01-22 02:51 [#02166195]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Followup to Zephyr Twin: #02166192 | Show recordbag



that was mean, I'm sorry pulse.


 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2008-01-22 03:05 [#02166198]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker | Followup to Raz0rBlade_uk: #02165902



its supposed to be acne doesnt come on your face till you're
14







so there is a two gorillas in the zoo. one says to the other
i am going to fuck that lion while it sleeps

later the gorilla goes to the lion while he is sleeping and
fucks the lion

the lion wakes up and is angry

the lion changes into an angrier lion and chases the gorilla
around the zoo

the gorilla runs into the zoo keepers thread shed and
puts on a hat and opens up a news paper and sits behind a
desk

the lion comes in and says hey zoo keeper did you see a
gorilla run through here

and the gorilla says you mean the gorilla that fucked that
lion

and the lion says

FUCK its in the paper already?


 

offline Cliff Glitchard from DEEP DOWN INSIDE on 2008-01-22 10:05 [#02166271]
Points: 4158 Status: Lurker



a priest, rapist and a paedophile get in to a taxi...

then a second bloke gets in.

wocka wocka wocka


 

offline Cliff Glitchard from DEEP DOWN INSIDE on 2008-01-22 10:11 [#02166272]
Points: 4158 Status: Lurker



A man walks into a chemist and asks the assistant for some
birth control pills for his daughter. The assistant asks the
man,

"Is your daughter sexually active?"

The man replies, "No, she just lies there like her mother!"

thanks, i'm here all week!


 

offline stilaktive from a place on 2008-01-22 11:26 [#02166314]
Points: 3162 Status: Lurker



Whats red and invisible?

No tomato


 

offline oxygenfad from www.oxygenfad.com (Canada) on 2008-01-22 12:55 [#02166350]
Points: 4442 Status: Regular



http://xltronic.com/mb/46778/0


 

offline Raz0rBlade_uk on 2008-01-22 15:31 [#02166424]
Points: 12540 Status: Addict | Followup to roygbivcore: #02166198 | Show recordbag



but 14 is too specific


 

offline Falito from Balenciaga on 2008-01-22 15:34 [#02166425]
Points: 3974 Status: Lurker | Followup to stilaktive: #02166314 | Show recordbag



^^^HAhaa . . . hee its very good joke*


 

offline rad smiles on 2008-01-22 16:23 [#02166434]
Points: 5608 Status: Lurker



cliff you rule


 


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