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Today I predict the following
 

wizards teeth on 2001-06-02 13:00 [#00007997]



I met a lovely lady three minutes ago.

Do you think it is too soon to pop the question?

Question being: "Hello do you like Aeroplanes?"

Today I work in morning, Later my friend arrives back from
place that has many skyscrapers and other high concrete
things. There are also a few people addicted to Gin who
wander the street asking to borrow money. I asked one of the
people what they needed the money for. This dialogue below
is a re-enactment of the scenario:

Gin addict - "Hello can I borrow some money?"

Me - "What do you need it for?"

Gin addict - "I need to purchase a Russian Dictionary"

Me - "Why?"

Gin Addict - "I need to write some love letters to a Russian
Horse"

Me - "I am afraid I cannot condone such activity,
but I will teach you the pronunciation of the word
"hairnet" in Balinese"

Gin Addict - "Ok, thanks"

The End
I will one-day study Witchcraft; I will use the knowledge
that I gain to help develop some new potions that will allow
man to communicate with pigs.

My dad invented the "apple harness" and my mother invented
the "rhombus". That is how I am able to boast about my
lovely mansion:

"Hello, I have a lovely mansion"

Who likes going to the swimming baths? If I had to give
myself a rating out of ten for swimming I would probably
give myself a 6.7 out of ten. My legs are made from sodium
therefore it is not a good idea to go into the water that
much. I tend to watch by the side of the pool, but I do
enjoy purchasing those lovely black plastic combs they
always have for sale.

An obligator item for all "children fiddlers"

* Please note - I am not one of these people with wandering
hands.

Hello Jimmy if you are reading this message board. If you
are I will see you at ten o'clock tomorrow down the owl
sanctuary.

I predict a new form of currency shall be introduced in the
year 2003. It will be soap based.

>Syntax Error : I stroke cannons



 

delet... from .. indeed the cannons be stroked ... boulivarde .. on 2001-06-02 13:10 [#00007998]



.. an all all pistons are firin' .. on that one .. ; - ]
... *grunts in porno pig bleeps* ...

oh yeah an about .. "I will one-day study Witchcraft; I
will use the knowledge that I gain to help develop some new
potions that will allow man to communicate with pigs" ...
that would be great .. cause i can can ask the pig wot's
growin' organs for peoples .. to go easy on the gin .. oh
and the truntions ..


 

wizards teeth from behind some platic on 2001-06-02 13:15 [#00008001]



delet,

Please tell my Grandad to whip the pheasant before I get
home.

If he does not I will not allow him any extar butter in this
weeks pay packet.

Oh I do love being nasty - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (M)

*To be laughed in an "evil" style


 

delet... from .. fire .. fire .. fire .. station .. junction .. on 2001-06-02 13:15 [#00008002]



... oh but the pepper sprays cool'eesz .. my don't mind a
bit 'ov spice'ee pork .. but make it kung fu style ..


 

delet... from *rubs hands togeather .. * .. nuclear sub station .. "there's water in my radium .." place .. on 2001-06-02 13:18 [#00008003]



.. sounds like a menu ... little game as an entree never
hurt anyone ... (and grandpa's atteries will be all a
thank'ee thank'ee .. for the bonus that look's like less to
digest ... )


 

wizards teeth from behind some platic on 2001-06-02 13:19 [#00008004]



Eeeeeeeeeeeah,

I shout as one of my fists strikes a poor boys hip and
causes him to lean to one side until his ear is resting in
his soup.

Sh*t - I have just broke my spine. I suppose that will teah
me to stop throwing knives at barely dressed ladies who have
been attached to wheels by clown.

Clowns Eating Beavers may I add.


 

delet... from ... ahah .. jungle village .. on 2001-06-02 13:22 [#00008006]



.. good thing soups on the menu now .. as your a paraplegic
.. you'd better get used to it .. *offers straw .. and evil
grin* ..


 

wizards teeth from behind some platic on 2001-06-02 13:23 [#00008007]



One day I wll inform everyone I see how much it costs to
wrestle some invisible tanks.

But until then I will keep the secret close to my chest.

In my chest I keep the following:

Heart x 1

Lungs x 2

Thorax x 1

I will be evicting my thorax soon due to unpaid rent. If
anyone would like to move in I will be pleased to negotiate
a good deal. The rent is quite cheap.

One stipulation - Do not be too noisy as I need to respire
at least three times per day !


 

wizards teeth from behind some platic on 2001-06-02 13:26 [#00008008]



No I am not yet a paraplegic.

But I am a lethargic parachutist, this will probably lead to
paraplegism, as I can never be bothered to pull the chord on
my chute.



 

delet... from searching for a new ./... chambers on 2001-06-02 13:29 [#00008009]



.. does it come with half flush setting on the dun'ee .. as
i'm very concious 'ov those type 'ov things ... and i
wouldn't mind if you manicaured the lawn on that rooftop
abit .. as it's a little shab'ee .. an might put the
hatchlings off slipping down into my lovepad ..

.. hmmm .. call and response .. we should take up
pentogospelism .. o(~; - ] ..


 

delet... from .. fantasy .. i will be .. toll way .. on 2001-06-02 13:32 [#00008010]



well .. get a guitar .. much easier .. chords .. and you
can play 'em one handed i hear .. which makes the pulling
(wiv ah'va hand) a very approachable option ..


 

wizards teeth from behind some platic on 2001-06-02 13:41 [#00008011]



No I am afraid it does not, i don't bother flushing when I
do a solid.

I like to keep them for nostalgia, I have a lovely
collection in a cabinet in my house:

I have brown ones, long ones, little ones, ones with nuts
in, some as big as your hat.

I like to call it "my stool" cabinet.

I often invite the youngsters around to have a look, but
last time i did this the autorities were called.

I now go home and dry my mother.

I will take the scenic route, you know which one I mean.
Past the Dentists.

"Don't worry I don't bite" - That is what I say to all the
items of food I eat.



 

delet... from ... sensible .. hights .. on 2001-06-02 14:01 [#00008012]



.. eheh .. usually the dentist .. gasses you .. for that
type 'ov shenanigans .. but maybe you like a bit 'ov
consciousness .. when he get's up to his trick's with you ..
oh the mayhem they get thaught in dentistry conventions ..
"and this ones .. for opening the vulva ..."

.. ONE STOOL CABINET FOR SALE ...

one owner only .. mint condidtion .. very fresh ... unique
item ... with russian esthetic .. from the furnature inside
furnature period ...

... back to hawai .. and it's question and answer time ..
for the vulva entry delivery system manufacturers sales team
.. "so what .. if it's in the furnature period ..." asks
the ever inquizitive young mr. dent .. 'ov the small
orthapedic surgery company 'ov Dent and Ture ..
.. "well sir .. your a dentist. .. Apply a little cotton
wool .. "


 

wizards teeth from inside a monkeys pancreas on 2001-06-02 14:45 [#00008013]



Cotton Wool reminds me of baby ghosts.

Dentists remind me of men with coats who like to eat young
boys teeth.

I can only assume they eat them.

They take them out and you never see them again, saying that
Dentists probably sell teeth to double glazing salesmen for
them to make the frames for the windows the sell



 

delet... from ... the florishing trading centre 'ov souls .. that is mephisto's dwelm .. on 2001-06-02 15:23 [#00008014]



... tis .. the tooth fairy don't yah know .. she started
associating herself .. with teeth .. cause 'ov her almost
obessive love for nitrous oxide ... paying the dentists for
the teeth .. is just a cover .. for her dirty little secret
..
she then onsells the teeth to the baby ghosts .. who need
solid teeth .. for their vaporous selves to eat at various
spiritworld dining functions .. as they are all now old
enough to eat at the big table with the other sprites .. but
were never blessed with the gift 'ov pearly whites ..
before they hit those other pearly's .. (the one with the
gates .. that are all squeek'ee .. and wot need oilin' ..
cause noone visits them parts no more) .. when they were all
solid an smell'ee .. an real .. an wee wee'd all the way
home .. into a semi-trailer load 'ov cotton ..


 

delet... from ... clouds .. on 2001-06-02 15:28 [#00008015]



.. nightsz .. mate .. thanks for all the pun ...

(soz.. .. i wasn't replying quicker .. was just doing other
stuff elsewhere ..)

*yawns* .... *and yet more ... arrrhhh yawnsz* .. ..
*yawns* ..


 

Rainblo from Edmonton on 2001-06-02 20:31 [#00008054]



wizards teeth: Hello, I am rainblo and I absolutely enjoy
reading your posts, I think your writing is brilliant, one
day I will have my own magazine out, it will have all sorts
of stuff in it and I think you should write articles in it,
that would be so wicked... you are amazing!!!


 

SWAI from Denmark on 2001-06-02 21:20 [#00008061]



I only have three words to say to all this

"Donkey dick stacks"



 

M from Fraggle Rock on 2001-06-03 00:25 [#00008073]



Yeah, you oughta consider some sort of writing type stuff.
Just do it for fun, not to get paid (but maybe you will get
paid) Most people's brains are wired so the right hemisphere
are concerned with "artistic" things like spacial
relationships and the left hemishpere is logical things like
language and math. I think some of your language hemisphere
fused to your spacial one though you crazy goof.


 

od from perth on 2001-06-03 14:54 [#00008106]



SWAI : "big floppy donkey dick"
lol.


 

SWAI from Denmark on 2001-06-03 16:37 [#00008113]



Donkey dick stacks

its something that just flew out of my friends mouth one day
(figurately speaking, even though it would have been funny 2
the other way)

now i´ve made a track called it since, with this vocoder
voice repeating it to death



 

nekta killa from in a bin on 2001-06-03 19:05 [#00008131]



don't give me that cr5ap. the artist always knows best and
what you are sayong os bollocks byeeeeeeeeeeee he he nekta


 

Chris Ochre from Newcastle, UK. (www.mp3.com/ochre) on 2001-06-03 23:49 [#00008146]



I predict WT will talk more arse in the future.

;)


 

delet... from .. you fkin' morons ... street ... on 2001-06-04 01:24 [#00008156]



.. HEY I WAS POSTING TOo yAH KNOW >>> IT WASN"T ALL WiZARD
>> AND MY STUFF MADE SENSE ><><> YAH FKIN" MORONS >>


 

wizards teeth from behind some platic on 2001-06-04 10:06 [#00008191]



Hey Chris are you Ok.

I live near Gateshead in Newcastle.

Are you aware of any "Aphex Style" nights in Newcastle ?

If so let me know.

I would also appreciate it if you would keep such comments
to yourself if you have no valid reason for them, OK Sonny
Jim?



 

delet... from .. jim's my mate .. and the day isz sunn'ee ,... on 2001-06-04 11:39 [#00008199]



.. o (9;- p ...

.. i didn't mean offense ... and if anyone was well poo poo
.. ; - p .... had just got into work .. then read those
ingratiations .. with none in me direction .. and felt like
there was half a mango missing .. an all that two to tango
..


 

Chris Ochre from Newcastle, UK. (www.mp3.com/ochre) on 2001-06-04 19:22 [#00008230]



I'm only kidding WT, Delet, just pulling your leg. No
animosity or offence intended, hence the ' ;) ' at the
bottom. Rock on with the complete nonsense banter, then.

Jolly good,

Chris.

Nah, I don't know of any decent nights in Newcastle, Teeth.
I think Egypt Cottage had an electronica night with Aphex,
ATR, Autechre etc, but I'm not sure if it's still on. Never
went to it anyway. Newcastle's being taken over by house
clubs now, but I'm sure there's a decent night going on
somewhere that doesn't consist of house, trance or UK
garage. I'm surprised World Headquarters doesn't have an
IDM type night, nice little (very little) place though.

*I've got to get a job, get a job, get a job.
I've got to get a job, get-up-early in the mor-ning* And
then I can go to the US and fritter my money away on cheap
petrol as me and a mate drive towards the horizon...


 

delet... from ... ahah .. croisant parlour .. on 2001-06-04 19:40 [#00008233]



.. hmm .. my last post ... was in reply to wizards .. post
prior ... 'ad .. nuffin' .. to do with you chris mate ..
but .. oh well ..

... take it ..ease'ee .. any'owsz ...


 

Mr. Hour from Badnew on 2001-06-04 21:18 [#00008238]



Wizards Teeth:

Question: Have you ever tried selling garns on the early
spring fair?. I did so last year and i sold plenty. Tip: If
you cut the garns ahalf so that the tiny giplets can be
reached by a fork, you can actually paint them any color you
want!! By the way, i have paid some attention to your idea
of purchasing, as you called them, "hassypacks" to transform
people into anything they want to and make them happy, and
actually, the garns make out a pretty good alternative!. I
sold one to the villageboy John, and he immediately liked
it. He sat it down atop of his tele and he named it "Swingy
Bob with a poak-neth".

I have, according to myself, found out how to find the
hassypacks:

1. Take a paper. Paint it green.
2. Scrape the paint off with a razor.
3. Melt down a copy of SAW II (disc 2).
4. Apply the paint on the data side.
5. Melt again so that the paint sticks to it.
6. Play the disc on your HiFi-Stereo.
7. You will hear whispers. The voices will tell you a secret
code.
8. The code tells you how to make coco with salty bread. The
hassypacks are there.

Bye,bye.


 

aphyd_x on 2001-06-04 21:54 [#00008240]



every night is an aphex style night


 

nekta killa from in a bin on 2001-06-04 22:18 [#00008244]



i would burn SAW2 CD2 but its the only one i have, i lost
CD1 :(, sorry about that message further up, i was so pissed
i couldn't see the screen. or spell. sorry UI mixCD YES YES
YES OHHHHHH BABY


 

Jawhob from Ontario (Soon to be Newfoundland) on 2001-06-04 22:51 [#00008250]



Wizards Teeth: I happen to be of relation to 2 dentists.
Now... i'm not susposed to tell you people this but, on a
yearly basis all dentists gather to show off their biggest
tooth. The top ten biggest teeth are put in a ring and fight
to the death. The owner of the last tooth is rewarded with
drill sound effects (the ones you hear when waiting) and is
allowed to make the sacred "Drink of teeth" where as all the
teeth are put into a giant blender and liquified. The drink
gives giant power and often cures old age.

DONT TELL ANYONE ELSE THIS INFORMATION!


 

TekN010G from Australia on 2001-06-04 23:55 [#00008257]



AHA!! so that's how they do it!!


 

od from perth on 2001-06-05 14:37 [#00008314]



dont some secretaries do that too?
in russia?

(j/k)


 

Jawhob from Ontario on 2001-06-05 15:53 [#00008324]



secretaries do the same but instead of teeth they use old
documents that didnt ever go anywhere...


 


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