Depression... | xltronic messageboard
 
You are not logged in!

F.A.Q
Log in

Register
  
 
  
 
(nobody)
...and 370 guests

Last 5 registered
Oplandisks
nothingstar
N_loop
yipe
foxtrotromeo

Browse members...
  
 
Members 8025
Messages 2614114
Today 0
Topics 127542
  
 
Messageboard index
Depression...
 

offline tolstoyed from the ocean on 2003-10-20 16:35 [#00910988]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator



major depression here...must be the toughest time in my
life...i cant sleep, it makes me wanna cry out of the blue
and i havent cried in 15 years, i have that weird stomach
ache...and the worst thing is i cant do anything about it,
except wait and see how all this mess im in turns out

and when everything goes wrong there's more trouble on the
way, like today, nothing major, just little annoying
things...i have my head full of this fucking mess im in and
on top of it all it strted raining really hard so when i
stepped out of the car all the documents i had with me got
wet...then i went back in the car and it was pretty late in
the evening when usually there's no much traffic...but no,
this time all the fuscking cars had to arrive right at that
moment - i got so nervous i almost crashed into someone..i
had a minor nervous breakdown there
im going to see bug tomorrow with two ladys so that might
help a little, that is if i'll be able to not think about
all this shit im in


 

offline DJ Xammax from not America on 2003-10-20 16:38 [#00910993]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker



I'm pretty bad at the moment. Any recommended suicide
methods?


 

offline tolstoyed from the ocean on 2003-10-20 16:39 [#00910996]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to DJ Xammax: #00910993



i'll let you know asap


 

offline tragedy from Gloucester (United States) on 2003-10-20 16:40 [#00910998]
Points: 4423 Status: Lurker



i think of dpression as a form of art... if more people did
i'd be a famous artist...


 

offline DJ Xammax from not America on 2003-10-20 16:41 [#00910999]
Points: 11512 Status: Lurker | Followup to tragedy: #00910998



You think of an emotion as a form of art? Whaaaaaaaaaat


 

offline tragedy from Gloucester (United States) on 2003-10-20 16:44 [#00911002]
Points: 4423 Status: Lurker



yeah


 

offline TonyFish from the realm of our dreams on 2003-10-20 16:45 [#00911005]
Points: 3349 Status: Lurker



ermmm ... ok


 

offline Zeus from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-10-20 16:47 [#00911008]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker



ive got clinical depression... but ive been doing good
lately.. havnt been feeling too down

except missing Rome

but yeah... this will probably all change within a month or
so... seeing as its turning into fall, (and I have S.A.D.)

:-\


 

offline TonyFish from the realm of our dreams on 2003-10-20 16:47 [#00911009]
Points: 3349 Status: Lurker



I'm sorry to hear it tol'. Does music help? I find it does.
Why are you depressed? Does the depression have a explicit
cause or are we talking general deep-blues here? (If you
don't mind talking about it of course)

Have you thought about medication? I stay clear of
anti-depressants and stuff but if it's really that bad maybe
it's something you should conside at least.

I can't sleep either. I'm half way through this. Two months
left and my girlfriend comes over to Paris for christmas
then I got over to Greece to meet the parents then we both
end up living together in London. Two months down, two to
go. Problem is it's affecting my work. Not the quality
(which is improving I'd say) but the speed. I'm getting
overly emo too. Saw a documentary on the Concorde crash last
night and almost ended up in tears :(. Did you know that
Chirac was in a Bowing on the runway at the same time and
the concorde only missed it by 60ft? Talk about
coincidences...


 

offline tragedy from Gloucester (United States) on 2003-10-20 16:54 [#00911023]
Points: 4423 Status: Lurker



seasonal affective dissorder??? i do too!!!


 

offline Zeus from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-10-20 16:55 [#00911026]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker



yup

its no fun

winter is my favorite time... except its when im saddest

maybe im only happy when it snows?

*rimshot*


 

offline TonyFish from the realm of our dreams on 2003-10-20 16:56 [#00911027]
Points: 3349 Status: Lurker | Followup to Zeus: #00911026



autechre ...
in winter ...
in a park ...
with fog ...
= perfection


 

offline tolstoyed from the ocean on 2003-10-20 16:58 [#00911034]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to TonyFish: #00911009



well, im not even sure its depression...i just feel really
bad phisically and mentaly, perhaps im nore scared than
depressed but im in a terrible mood, just thinking about
this major job related problem...but its so much more than
just a job...its my life basically, and not only mine but my
famillies as well
and on top of it all it is absolutely not our fault we're in
this shitty situation (actually i dont even want to tell my
familly too much, so they dont feel as bad as i do)
there's just a little hope left, hope that everything will
turn out good
the thing that hurt the most is that you're honest and fair
for all your life and then someone wants to prove you're
wrong...

the music doesnt help much these days, i just get more sad


 

offline Zeus from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-10-20 16:58 [#00911035]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker



yeah

the cold makes things seem more real, and beautiful... at
least imo.



 

offline k_maty on 2003-10-20 17:01 [#00911041]
Points: 2362 Status: Regular



i have schizo-affective disorder


 

offline TonyFish from the realm of our dreams on 2003-10-20 17:03 [#00911048]
Points: 3349 Status: Lurker | Followup to tolstoyed: #00911034



yeah music can do that when depressed. What can I say? I
hope things work out and SOON.


 

offline nlogax from oh, you must be the brains (Norway) on 2003-10-20 17:04 [#00911051]
Points: 4653 Status: Regular



I'm being uh, examined now for personality disorders.. and
I'm also in therapy for a long-term depression


 

offline Zeus from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-10-20 17:04 [#00911053]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker



one of my favorite nights, was last winter... it was
freezing out... and it was like 3am... and I walked over to
the christian science center (no im not christian
scientist... its just that they have the most beautiful
reflecting pool) and I sat there, right at the end of it,
centered... listening to philip glass on my headphones,
crying.

it was a great night

while being depressed sucks... I sometimes also feel some
kind of attachment to it... some joy comes from utter
hopelessness

:-\


 

offline tolstoyed from the ocean on 2003-10-20 17:08 [#00911061]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to TonyFish: #00911048



thank you

btw, this company i work for isnt the only one in this
situation, there are plenty of other companies in the same
line of bussines with same problem
its just our great country that think we're all wrong...and
they can make their own rules :(


 

offline TonyFish from the realm of our dreams on 2003-10-20 17:13 [#00911080]
Points: 3349 Status: Lurker | Followup to Zeus: #00911053



YES I know exactly what you mean. Some of my happiest
moments involved reich,glass,ae usually in a winter context
and during extreme depression. You reach a point were the
depression mingles with joy and the beauty around you and
it's quite overwhelming. Take the depression away and it's
not quite the same.


 

offline Zeus from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-10-20 17:14 [#00911086]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker | Followup to TonyFish: #00911080



im glad theres someone out there who can relate...

i dont usually talk about my depression with people I
know... so Ive never really known if others felt the same
way

its almost masichistic



 

offline tolstoyed from the ocean on 2003-10-20 17:22 [#00911109]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator



when im feeling "ordinary" down i can enjoy lots of sad
music and it feels beautiful
but this time its not that classic depression and i just
cant relax in a way i normally do when i listen to music -
all i can think about is this mess, at least i forget about
it when typing this :)

any yesm glass is perfect for those moments of depression
you two should both try new album by yokota, called "laputa"
- it shuld have the same effect, beautiful stuff


 

offline Zeus from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-10-20 17:23 [#00911116]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker



sweet, ill check into that!


 

offline TonyFish from the realm of our dreams on 2003-10-20 17:28 [#00911140]
Points: 3349 Status: Lurker | Followup to tolstoyed: #00911109



noted and soulseeking!


 

offline zaphod from the metaverse on 2003-10-20 20:21 [#00911383]
Points: 4428 Status: Addict



huh. interesting to read through this because i have alot of
the same kinds of problems. and zeus, yeah man, winter is
sweet in a depressing kind of way. i remember walking around
after this blizzard and going down to this lake frozen over,
with the lights of a lakeside community reflecting on it,
and just listening to erik satie. definitely had a beauty to
it, but yeah, its sort of masochistic to discuss. or atleast
it feels that way.
i'm definitely in way over my head at college right now, and
every day i wake up i'm in sort of a haze, distant but i'm
still pretty there. i'm pretty sure i'm depressed, but i'm
usually so content i don't really know....oh well.


 

offline zaphod from the metaverse on 2003-10-20 20:22 [#00911385]
Points: 4428 Status: Addict



and sakura is an amazing album, as is the new one.
definitely check them both out. good music for this time of
year.


 

offline Zeus from San Francisco (United States) on 2003-10-21 21:27 [#00913070]
Points: 14042 Status: Lurker



you know, I could actually feel my depression getting
stronger today...

like I said... I have S.A.D, so its perfectly normal that
right about now Id be feeling it...

its just funny that it began to show itself right after
talking about it, but I know its coincidence...

but yeah.

fun times


 

offline zaphod from the metaverse on 2003-10-21 21:34 [#00913073]
Points: 4428 Status: Addict | Followup to Zeus: #00913070



depression is a strange thing because it seems to fuel
itself


 

offline tibbar from harrisburg, pa (United States) on 2003-10-21 21:37 [#00913076]
Points: 10513 Status: Lurker



mr. zeus: there is a message for you in the love thread
(which YOU started, btw)

;)


 


Messageboard index