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 Now online (1)big ...and 252 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614156 Today 1 Topics 127544 |
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Hey hey....you're amoung friends |
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I think absoulte zero is measure in Kelvin, and it's relative anyway. speaking of cold things. I'm going to go soak my head in ice water. |
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you bring tears to my eyes...you kids DO still have feelings!! :D dude, if you wanna talk, come to da GrandMaster eXX 8) |
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I know! that's why I post here. That's the reason I stay here. I'm actually comforted. I get to talk, work things out in my head, get the support I need to not slit my wrists, and the energy to get through this stuff. Really, I've said before, I owe a lot of good energy to the good people on this mb. |
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:( I tried to find that at 2 of my local libraries, not only did they not have a copy but the book is out of print!! Could I lend yours? |
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damn, sorry for gettin off topic dude i'm sure things will work out, tho! |
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it is at my parents home, I am sorry m8, if you remind me in July, and if I still have it, I will happily send it along to you. |
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it's ok mate, you guys take my mind off everything. I don't want the pain that I think is coming. It's the scars that trigger this fear..... |
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Just try not to panic mate. If its good then *phew* if it's bad, then yeah, that'll suck for a good long time, but the world doesn't end. Dunno, maybe i'm just an insensitive clod. It's no use trying to think happy thoughts i guess but just try to chill a bit i guess. |
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I will try to remember. Thanks! |
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I always try to tell myself to relax. the pent up energy just bottles up deep inside me. the way it pushes me to break...... |
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maybe you could spin some CDs to ease the anxiety |
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ack, 30 minutes or so, she will be here. we will play it cool, until it comes up until the moment comes when she bears her mind like she's been meaning too. my nerves raw tired, abused, overused |
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yes yes! that was the idea, BOC, BOC! |
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oh god, my legs are shaking, and I am hearing doors opening....... *pucnhes self in face* |
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I know this sounds fucking stupid, but it might be an idea to destroy something with a big hammer in the back yard. Serious stress shit can turn well into crazy aggression shit and it does actually help on occasion. Wow, i sound like a total psycho, yikes |
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commone MHTRTC, do your magic! please........ |
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hey man, I hear you, i used to HAVE to do that. not at all, to get it out, to do something big, that you control, that you influence. I know exactly what you mean. now I just go for walks, I'm a pansy. *looks for hammer* |
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wow, I'm really gushing here, I appologies for too much emotion guys, it's hard, the unknown is hard really dark in my eyes. |
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that's why i like tae kwon do. you can kick the crap out of pads & stuff and yell at the same time & just let it out! |
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she IS my release, that is the hard part too. I get to talk to her, touch her, have her hold me. fucking hell, really, fucking hell. BOC didn't do the trick either, and I have no finger nails left to chew off |
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nah, i do that as well, i used to just walk and walk for about 5 hours in the pissing rain when my last gf broke up with us. that and SLEEEEP like a motherfucker. and don't worry about gushing (u aint really :) cos stuff like this is well horrible, the unknown is definitely the worst when you're expecting badness. |
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Where is she driving down from? |
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you said it well, my life spells it well, FAILURE! |
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Portland |
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noooo! not what i mean. i really hope it doesn't and there's a damn good chance it won't, but if it all goes pear-shaped then it isn't failure, just life. |
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I'm moving to Portland when school starts, finally. |
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you're prolly right, but it still pain, gobs and gobs of unrelenting pain oh whatever, fuck, whatever, I can't control the universe, or my relationship, but whatever. |
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not to go all zen mystic, but it's all just a big fucking cosmic joke occasionally, you'll only be able to even look at any of this objectively much later on. ack, don't listen to me, i bet it's all gonna be fine |
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you going to PSU or something? I bet the girls are more reasonable up there |
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Yes, PSU |
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even if it turns out fine, I don't know, I'm all mixed up I can't control the confusion, and if it turns out fine, then what does that say about me? that I worry for no reason? that I'm just lost? a wondering soul? |
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great school, great people you should join the sailing team, their real good, beat us regularly.... |
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Heh, I've never sailed before in my life |
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about half a year ago i got a letter from PSU when they saw my SAT scores. i'm going in-state my 1st year tho for financial convenience. |
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JENNY sails, my girlfriend sails WITH me I don't want to loose this fuck me |
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that you're a human being :) control over life is a serious fucking illusion in my opinion, it's best just trying to be as happy as u can without screwing ppl over too much. Shit, i know i'm not in control of my life. |
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what do you do when you want something in life then? if you wanted a girl, what do you do if you have no control. you have to try, and even if you try, and it doesn't work, you try again. but how many times before you give up? I want this to be the last time. I don't even want this to happen. I hope I'm so wrong. I want hugs and kisses and love. |
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Look Mr. Echo young man, I can give you a manly hug but THAT'S IT! No kisses and love! Oooooooh no! |
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I know, it's a shit theory really. I don't mean NO control at all, just not in total control of what's goin on. it's hard NOT just to muddle thru as best you can trying to make the decisions that seem right at the time. what i really mean is: don't stress too hard if u can't MAKE someone do something etc, it's the trying that makes us people. ah, to be omnipotent |
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i.e. you can only control what you do! |
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i know what you mean. but I really do believe in the importance of two people growing TOGETHER. if one thing hurts one person, the other person needs to know, and change their ways, becuase they care about the other person so much to do that. I think that is important, and that is what's missing here. |
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I've come to the conclusion that free will is actually an illusion of the mind |
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especially for those with brown noses!!! |
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What? |
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lol I want to take a nap, I'm so tired from worrying. I'm drowning :( ------- *she is going to come over, hold me, hug me, kiss me, kill me, and I will die happy* |
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then if it really does end up bad for you two, then she's a silly fool. that's a really cool way of looking at things, it shows u really care, and there's not many bastards out there who do. i hope all goes well ...... *manly hug* |
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*gives more manly hugs* I know that there isn't anything here that anyone can say that will be able to change whatever is gonna happen. But I'm sure if you two can sort out things in a sensible manner.......hey...keep smiling! |
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Stop thinking the worst!! :D She may come over and say she wants to marry you....then you'll have the worry of the cost of those things to concern yourself with! ;) |
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she'd never say that if she did, I'd die :) ----------- I'm a positive thinker mostly, so I need to turn that frown upside |
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