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 (nobody)...and 379 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614104 Today 1 Topics 127542 |
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Imagine if we lived in a society, that encouraged suicide to free up more natural resources for everybody else. Maybe, after your GSCEs, an advisor could say to you: "Well, you haven't done very well at all, there probably aren't going to be any opportunities for you to be happy in work, plus you're unattractive and unpopular, your social life is likely to be even less tolerable than your career." She hands you a leaflet entitled "Suicide: The right choice for you." Then you could sit down and discuss it with your friends and family, before making the big decision, before a trip to the local hospital to be given a massive overdose of painkillers. |
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ok, I imagined it, what now? |
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It would be stupid. You need to learn yourself some self esteem. For every lonely man there is a lonely woman. |
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So this is a solution for... what exactly? Too free up resources? Well I say punish criminals by neutering them and any kids they have had already. |
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why does society need freeing up? |
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Don't you think the victims of paedophilia have suffered enough without going through what you're proposing? |
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I just think it should be an option, that's all. If someone is in pain, why should they have to go on? |
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Give me a break! I only just though of it ten minutes ago. |
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I expect a fully researched 20 page proposal to be submitted to me on 30 pairs of womens boobs by start of business Monday. |
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ok... Have you got 30 spare pairs of blank boobs? |
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Not to hand. I have 28 and I can lick another two pair clean. Failing that you may replace one pair with hanal's arse. |
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But I won't lick the latter clean even if it requires it. |
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I just got the image of a paper stapled to lots of boobs in my head it looked painful |
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hanals ass tastes like candy just so you know |
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How did you fit lots of boobs in your head? |
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damn, with all those distractions I may never get it written. I may have to temporary use an elephant's scrotum for a first draught. Harder to write on, but at least I have one to hand. |
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there's not much else in there |
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I heard all the best rappers use elephant scrotum. |
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distractions?! where? |
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I just saw a movie where lots of raccoons used their balls to attack humans they even built a ship for sailing to nirvana out of an old man/raccoons balls |
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I can't see how you could fit that many boobs and a move about raccons balls, nirvana and old men into your head at once. Something's gotta give man! |
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move=movie raccons = raccoons |
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gew = few |
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apparently it's the spelling that goes first |
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gew = jew |
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real = THINK REAL |
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?uestlove |
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swears If you ever fancy a pint just give me a shout. |
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swears is with god now |
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this is so controversial... |
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ive been seriously depressed and in that mode, where its like, nothing has any meaning, the world has no color, its all just black, its empty, there is nothing at all. but, the power of perception is, you can alter it , its under your control heavily. you can always change how you feel just by changing your thinking habits and your physical habits a human being really has to really take care of its body, its too easy to seperate the results of ones daily habits from ones current mental state, they are basically arm-in-arm plus you gotta laugh, i think laughing is like some form of breathing the body has to do or else it suffocates after a period of time. laughing is good |
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no dont commit suicide!!! wait until halloween ;) so it says 19??-2006 31st october |
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[b]on your gravestone that is[/b] |
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good idea swears. i will vote for you. |
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--kill yourself, its fun-- |
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this could be a hilarious sitcom. |
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remember the suicide booth in futurama? |
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No, do tell.... |
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I suppose this thread is a symptom of my growing dissillusionment with life. You may, or may have not noticed that I haven't been online for a couple of days. This is due to some pretty heavy stuff going down in my personal life. On Monday morning my friend Paul at work told me that the fittest girl in the entire building, who every fella at work wants to shag, fancies me, and is dying for me to ask her out. I thought this was a joke at first, and just laughed it off, but then everybody in the office, totally straight-faced, tells me that it's true. Even staid middle-aged types who you would never expect to be involved with gags/lying. So, feeling exhilarated, I walked up to the floor she works on and started talking to friend who works with her. He told me that yes it's true. But she didn't want me to know because she didn't think I liked her because I thought that she was a bimbo. Again, with a totally straight face. Lunchtime came, and I went up to see her. I sort of know her as a friend of a friend so I pulled a swivel chair up to the desk next to her and started chatting. She seems a little apprehensive, but I put that down to her being nervous with someone she likes. So at the end of a pretty much one-sided conversation. (She didn't say much.) I asked her if she'd like to come out for a drink with me at a new bar that's recently opened in town. She looks embarrassed and shocked, and loudly says NO. "YOU? Why would I want to go out with an ugly dwarf like you?" Her friend sitting opposite her, also fit, starts laughing. Then a male friend of hers looks at me as if I whistled for a cab and when it came near the License plate said "fresh" and it had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought "Nah forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby "yo, home smell you later". Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air. |
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The second i read "pretty heavy stuff going down in my personal life" i totally saw it coming. Hahaha |
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Good gag, but I'd sussed the punchline by the time you got to "fancies me". |
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heard that before somewhere.......... |
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that did crack me up. |
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guys guys focus on the suicide solituoin |
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Wouldn't it be funny if a really highbrow, respected novelist wrote a 500 page book, and then the last page ends with the Fresh Prince theme lyrics. |
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you just want some free pills, swearsy. |
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i think it's a good idea. |
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dont be such a pussy and just commit suicide already! |
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yes, it would. |
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I knew this thread was serious as soon as I saw the title ended with a full-stop. |
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