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jamesa
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 17:12 [#01954623]
Points: 1080 Status: Lurker
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riddle me ree!
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daLO
on 2006-08-15 17:15 [#01954626]
Points: 74 Status: Addict
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riddle me ree!
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felch king
on 2006-08-15 17:16 [#01954627]
Points: 257 Status: Lurker
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More coming soon people!
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1up
from greater manchester (United Kingdom) on 2006-08-15 17:16 [#01954628]
Points: 2302 Status: Regular
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what do you call the asian hide and seek champion?
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jamesa
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 17:17 [#01954629]
Points: 1080 Status: Lurker
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i don't know? but i know i'm going to laugh!
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weatheredstoner
from same shit babes. (United States) on 2006-08-15 17:19 [#01954630]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker | Followup to 1up: #01954628
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I give up
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horsefactory
from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2006-08-15 17:21 [#01954632]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular
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i bet weatheredstoner has some awesome jokes dude
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1up
from greater manchester (United Kingdom) on 2006-08-15 17:21 [#01954633]
Points: 2302 Status: Regular
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amir
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jamesa
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 17:23 [#01954638]
Points: 1080 Status: Lurker
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not that great actually... try again
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weatheredstoner
from same shit babes. (United States) on 2006-08-15 17:23 [#01954639]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker | Followup to horsefactory: #01954632
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You wish I did!!!!
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Dannn_
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 17:24 [#01954640]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker | Followup to 1up: #01954633
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I dont get it but I laughed
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weatheredstoner
from same shit babes. (United States) on 2006-08-15 17:24 [#01954641]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker | Followup to 1up: #01954633
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wtf that joke sucked.
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daLO
on 2006-08-15 17:25 [#01954643]
Points: 74 Status: Addict
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big up big up
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2006-08-15 17:25 [#01954644]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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thatw as like my sex life, all build up no climax!
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1up
from greater manchester (United Kingdom) on 2006-08-15 17:27 [#01954645]
Points: 2302 Status: Regular
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lol @ taff
i'm no good @ telling jokes.
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redrum
from the allman brothers band (Ireland) on 2006-08-15 17:28 [#01954646]
Points: 12878 Status: Addict
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ashes to ash and funk to funky we know that major tom's a junkie
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2006-08-15 17:29 [#01954648]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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the girls on the waterslide go CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!
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daLO
on 2006-08-15 17:33 [#01954652]
Points: 74 Status: Addict
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brrrap
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daLO
on 2006-08-15 17:35 [#01954653]
Points: 74 Status: Addict | Followup to redrum: #01954646
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looooooooooooollll
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2006-08-15 17:36 [#01954654]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.
Receptionist: "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."
Mr. Smith: "What do you mean?"
Receptionist: "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife."
Mr. Smith: "That's terrible! Can we do the test over?"
Receptionist: "Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."
Mr. Smith: "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
Receptionist: "The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her.
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redrum
from the allman brothers band (Ireland) on 2006-08-15 17:36 [#01954655]
Points: 12878 Status: Addict | Followup to daLO: #01954653
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good one innit
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daLO
on 2006-08-15 17:40 [#01954657]
Points: 74 Status: Addict | Followup to redrum: #01954655
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:D mi get de carrots dem fi de salad
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Dannn_
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 17:43 [#01954662]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker | Followup to Taffmonster: #01954654
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the problem there is he's almost definetly slept with her already
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B123
from The wicked underbelly (Australia) on 2006-08-15 19:11 [#01954708]
Points: 1361 Status: Lurker
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Not the best, but a funny headline parody I read today:
"Price of oil drops a dollar in reaction to ceasefire. In related news, oil prices expected to climb amidst fears of dropping oil prices"
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-08-15 19:13 [#01954710]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to Dannn_: #01954662
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if the disease were 'genital warts' and the punchline was 'don't eat the cauliflower in her kootch' then it works.
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weatheredstoner
from same shit babes. (United States) on 2006-08-15 19:14 [#01954712]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker
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A young woman goes into a supermarket, shops the aisles and unloads onto the conveyor belt two bananas, a small tin of beans, half-a-gallon of milk and half a sliced loaf.
The checkout boy rings through her purchases, looks up and says: "You're a single woman, aren't you?"
She looks a bit sheepish and says: "Yeah. I suppose it's the shopping that gives it away, is it?"
And the checkout operator says: "No. It's because you're fucking ugly."
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-08-15 19:16 [#01954717]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to evolume: #01954710
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I don't think he'd fit in her kootch, mr. K. Ayres.. pffff.
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Peace
from Australia on 2006-08-15 19:18 [#01954723]
Points: 60 Status: Regular
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one of my favs....
What's stiff, purple and drives women crazy!...? . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . Cott Death. (crib death for you americans....)
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Dannn_
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 19:20 [#01954725]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker | Followup to qrter: #01954717
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you dont have to get inside to pick the cauliflowers you IDIOT
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-08-15 19:22 [#01954730]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to Dannn_: #01954725
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hey, don't shout at me, that's what HE said.
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-08-15 19:23 [#01954731]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular
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you guys are spoiling my joke.. hrrmmphh!
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Dannn_
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 19:25 [#01954735]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker | Followup to qrter: #01954730
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I know what he said, alright
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-08-15 19:27 [#01954739]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to Dannn_: #01954735
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I don't think you did. besides, looks like he just let off the most massive fart.
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B123
from The wicked underbelly (Australia) on 2006-08-15 19:31 [#01954744]
Points: 1361 Status: Lurker | Followup to Peace: #01954723
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b'dum chii
Love it!
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-08-15 19:32 [#01954745]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01954739
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microwaved tacos for my lunch.. that's what's going on here.
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Peter File
from the future!!! Ooooh chase me! on 2006-08-15 19:37 [#01954748]
Points: 2020 Status: Lurker
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I liked that "Amir" one, though I suppose it helps if you say it with a northern accent.
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Peter File
from the future!!! Ooooh chase me! on 2006-08-15 19:45 [#01954758]
Points: 2020 Status: Lurker
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Q: Why did the baker have smelly hands? A: He kneaded a poo!
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Dannn_
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 19:48 [#01954763]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker | Followup to Peter File: #01954758
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hahaha, brilliant
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weatheredstoner
from same shit babes. (United States) on 2006-08-15 20:24 [#01954803]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker
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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator?
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staXXX
from China on 2006-08-15 20:27 [#01954804]
Points: 55 Status: Addict
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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer.
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staXXX
from China on 2006-08-15 20:28 [#01954805]
Points: 55 Status: Addict
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what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? still no eye deer.
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staXXX
from China on 2006-08-15 20:28 [#01954806]
Points: 55 Status: Addict
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what do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and can't have sex?
still no fucking eye deer.
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Dannn_
from United Kingdom on 2006-08-15 20:47 [#01954823]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker
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you were saying weatheredstoner?
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B123
from The wicked underbelly (Australia) on 2006-08-16 00:00 [#01954909]
Points: 1361 Status: Lurker
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"A deadly game of cat and mouse"
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1up
from greater manchester (United Kingdom) on 2006-08-16 09:26 [#01955178]
Points: 2302 Status: Regular
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ameeer. by eck ;)
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Combo
from Sex on 2006-08-16 11:10 [#01955209]
Points: 7540 Status: Regular
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Funny one:
- What do you get when you cross a black man with a monkey? - What do you mean by "crossing " exactly?
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stefano_azevedo
from Pindorama (Brazil) on 2006-08-16 11:40 [#01955219]
Points: 4396 Status: Regular
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"Mom, why do people in our family die suddenly and misteriously?... Mom?... I'm talking to you, mom... Mommy..."
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magicant
from Canada on 2006-08-17 01:07 [#01955488]
Points: 2465 Status: Lurker
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The following joke can be great if it's told right.
You ask, with a tone that suggests that the joke is a real brain twiddler, "What would the Beatles be called if they were black?"
Then you let them think for a few seconds.
Then when they ask you for the answer, you say, like the answer is obvious, "Niggers!"
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Combo
from Sex on 2006-08-17 05:59 [#01955577]
Points: 7540 Status: Regular | Followup to stefano_azevedo: #01955219
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lol HAHA HAHA LOL
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Ganymede
from Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius on 2006-08-17 06:48 [#01955593]
Points: 1045 Status: Lurker | Followup to magicant: #01955488
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I laughed in spite of myself...
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