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 Now online (1)DADONCK ...and 475 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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I mean, can you look orr do you look at a perrson and decide about who they arre? |
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Our actions and words, I guess. But it goes a little deeper, because I've never actually DONE a lot of the things I want to do, and there's things I don't tell anyone or can't put to words. But it's a moot point for me because I can't really define myself anyway, I'm not even sure whether I'm a good or a bad person. |
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good people do bad things, bad people do good things. i do a lot of things that i'm ashamed of, but overall i wouldn't say i was a horrible person. i don't believe in purity. we're the sum of everything. circumstance, our actions, the actions of the people we associate with, etc... it's a complex world we live in. |
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It's a rreal mind fuck sometimes. I've been rreally overrthinking the past two weeks, thinking about myself. I haven't been able to eat orr sleep, I've been rreally concerrned that people arre judging me on how I look alone and It's so stupid... but well I haven't been able to stop. You don't know how fucked up I've been. Close to being physically sick when rreally people don't look at my shoes and think geek orr my birrthmarrk and think frreak |
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Have you tried to examine the reasons why you need to look at yourself through other people's eyes? |
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I don't mean to, but i have a habit of looking at certain people and just thinking "wanker" for no reason. I'm not even sure why sometimes, just a gut feeling. |
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its really weird but your avatars seem to reflect your mood perfectly |
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physical appearance really doesn't play as big a role in defining a person as we think it does... well, i mean, beyond an initial glance. i envy pretty people sometimes because it seems to open up some doors more easilly, like they have a leg up as soon as they enter a room because people are drawn to them. but, i suppose it can be as much of a pain in the ass as it is a benefit. sometimes i really feel sorry for how much shit a beautiful girl must have to go through in a bar (or internet messageboard for that matter). even though they may enjoy the attention, i think i'd die if it were me. one of my best friends since forever has a very prominent birthmark, and he's probably one of the most socially active/popular people i know. physical appearance, whether you're one of the "blessed few" or not, will only define you if you let it. i hope any of that made sense. |
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haha me too, it's sick how mutch my "mind speaks" to me and says stuff like that, wanker, fag, fucker and so on.. im a bit ashamed of it and i really mean no harm |
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Seriously though, I do judge people all the time based on race, religion, culture, gender and all that. We all do. However, I do try to change if I find I'm in error. |
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Think about a million years, how long that is, how long each year is. Then think about what it would be like to be seperated from sensory perceptions, and just be in your mind, 'sustained' for 1 million years. Wouldn't you go insane? Your mind tear itself apart, atrophe? |
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Go and have another wank it sounds like your overdue. but seriously these people have no right to judge you and there judgement isnt worth a toss without knowing you in depth. |
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Pure speculation. |
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feelings emotions aspirations desires needes personality history in my opinion, those define a person |
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you'd probably create artificial stimuli. dreams? maybe that's what we're doing now. |
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yet another example of how too much thinking is bad. i've noticed that most of the pain i feel is because of analysing things too much. thinking has also been known to get in the way of having fun. sometimes i really mess myself up (in much the same way you're describing). i remember thinking to myself, "do i even really /know/ my parents?" and sort of freaking out because when i looked at them they didn't seem familiar to me like they normally do. same thing happens to me sometimes when i look at myself in the mirror. i think, "that's me?" and it feels like i don't even really know myself. try not to think too much about stuff like that, it's not good for you. of course, easier said than done. :) |
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also, whether or not you have teh newest scarf is also important. |
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damn i spelt needs wrong :( guess that's what happens when you're trying to watch a stream :( |
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I always take a glance at people and judge them the same way, on a whim. But I tend to correct myself and keep in mind all the people I know of that look similar but are NOTHING like I'd expected them to be. So I'm pretty good for not judging people on looks alone now. As for ''seeing yourself through other people's eyes'', I think you should stop worrying about it, though I know that's easier said than done. I used to worry, but for some (unfortunately unexplainable) reason, I just stopped one day, and it's been a lot easier for me since. I think everybody is going to have an unfavorable initial opinion on me anyway, I'm just too awkward and aloof. It would take a lot of faking and posturing for me to fit in with... pretty much everybody. I don't mind now, it's fine. People aren't going to be thinking about your ''birthmark'' 2 minutes after they see you, it's nothing really. But I know that to you, it's something. Hopefully some chain of events will occur to convince you otherwise, because it's nearly impossible to overcome hang-ups like that without near divine intervention. |
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You seem to know what I'm on about when I say Who am I? |
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I don't think 'I' really exist. I'm just matter. I'm not 'alive', I don't have a soul, I'm just atoms. |
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Yeah, I had got overr all of this crrap, but many of my frriends have up and left and I'm feeling that need forr acceptance again. |
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"do i even really /know/ my parents?" and sort of freaking out because when i looked at them they didn't seem familiar to me like they normally do.'' I had an episode like that in my car once, my mom and grandmother were in the front, I was in the back, and suddenly I was just thinking... who the fuck ARE they? Hard to explain, but it was pretty eerie and unsettling. I knew who they were, but not WHO they were, what they were like. The kind of people they were. I'm still undecided (much like my opnion on myself). Thinking can be so cruel. |
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i know that this may seem like very little consolation, but i think that you will always be accepted here. i think that on this board, you are amongst some of the most respected members, you aren't a bastard - so people seem to find it easy to talk to you, and you seem like generally a cool guy |
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Thinking can be so crruel. I've made these worrrries forr myself, I've caused all this upset. As Flea said in Funky Monks... the only thing that makes him sad is himself. |
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i know SO little about my parents, and my immediate family. so much so, that i feel like i don't love them at all. i feel like if one day, i had to make a choice between lets say my girlfriend and my family, i would choose my girlfriend. a lot of the time, i feel like a solitary entity. unbound. /unbindall |
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i think that you just need something to lose yourself into....music, film, sex. just remember that sometimes thinking is good, but if you do too much it can have adverse affects. i am SO scared of dying, it terrifies me. if i get thinking about it, sometimes i feel like i could go insane literally. that upsets me quite a bit. i'm not religious, i don't believe in much except science. but i don't want to accept that i will just cease to be here. but that's a totally different subject, and a huge one at that. |
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In a distant kind of way, it does, thank you. I know my parrents rreally well. Me and my dad arre verry much on the same wavelength. I did go thrrough a 'who arre these strrangerrs' perriod when I found out my dad had been marrrried beforre he marrrried my mam. It just made me learrn that they arre rreal people and I got to know them betterr and judge them as individuals. |
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That's prretty sad frrom my point of view. My parrents mean so much to me. My boss' nephew lost both his mam and dad within 6 months of each otherr. Thankfully, even though he's only 24, he has a wife and family. If I lost my parrents and I had no dirrect family such as a wife orr childrren, I'd have to kill myself. |
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a family unit vs individualism families share things, that's the whole point of being in a family. be it love, possessions, whatever. but we are units that make a group. and if those units didn't have things that were private to them, that only they knew about or that they only shared with select units, it wouldn't be very "good" (for want of a better word). individualism, no matter how big or small, is important. otherwise we may as well all exist in our own little worlds, where everyone who inhabits our world is an exact copy of ourselves. can you imagine a world like that? think about it - that would really suck, because there'd be nothing new. you'd know everything there was to know about everyone. but i think i'm going off on a tangent here...your thinking habits are catching Anus_Presley |
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sometimes, i don't have to really get to know someone to guess what kind of person they are...it's enough to see them, the way they talk, smile, move their heads...i don't know if it's only me, but my experience is that most of the people i've been friends with were/are real nice and honest people...ive been lucky. |
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to be perfectly honest, i don't know how i really feel about my family. i've lost my 1st and 2nd grandmothers (dad's mom and my mom's mom) in the past year. i may seem like a really cold, and hollow person, but i don't feel particularly sad. i didn't know them, apart from the fact that they were my parents' parents. i dunno, maybe i'm fucked in the head :-s |
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"I don't mean to, but i have a habit of looking at certain people and just thinking "wanker" for no reason. I'm not even sure why sometimes, just a gut feeling." I think a lot of people do that. I don't think it has a lot to do with reality (well, obviously not..), I mean that it doesn't have a lot to do with your own reality, how you really see other persons. because you may think that, but as soon as you talk to that person, that preconception drops away. |
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unless, ofcourse, if they really are a wanker.. |
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I'm going to go in the bath now, I've managed to clearr my head. I just have to trry not to worrrry about the people that will judge me negatively on firrst glance since they'd prrobably do that anyway, whateverr I looked like, they'd find a rreason to scorrn at me. It's also odd how you can be loved and accepted even if that perrson dislikes 1 aspect of you... I mean you can't like everrything about the people you love. |
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I don't see how you could honestly doubt your own self-awareness. Anyway, I've thought about that myself(Who am I?, Where do my thoughts come from?). I think it's frustrating because we're stuck on this materialist idea that there's only matter and energy, cause and effect. We're looking for some rule or formula or something that can define our behavior at anytime in any circumstance. But the universe isn't like that. God isn't like that. There's no one principle which controls all others. No reducible essence. That's what I think anyway. |
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when you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with a kind of cleaned up version you have in your head - you just don't see the mistakes, because you don't want to. during the relationship, slowly but surely, the cleaned up version and the real version start to merge. that's when you find out if you truly love that person, or you are more wrapped up in yourself, perhaps. or sumfink. kind of. |
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..God? |
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i've had a few [imo] very pretty girlfriends, and i'm a fugly dork. that should be proof enough. |
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qrtr, that is totally true. you are zen |
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Love in all forrms.. between parrent and child, orr between you and yourr pet cat, orr man and wife... etc... is the most amazing thing in the worrld. |
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This thread makes me want to watch Solaris and Eternal Sunshine again |
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Therre has to be something said forr taking each day at a time. Although I may feel shy and self-conscious at this moment in time it doesn't mean I won't feel like strripping off and dancing on pub tables in a weeks time and feel prroud about my face and dick size. |
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there have been extensive psychological studies into the phenomenon of "external beauty". the outcome of the studies I read about when I still was studying psychology yeaaaaaaars ago was that people generally pick and/or get picked by people who are close to their own "level" of beauty, as far as such levels can of course be obtained (which of itself is pretty sketchy..). on the other hand, I don't know how it is with you lads, but I'm always surprised at how the beautiful girls always have shit-ugly boyfriends. |
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Skin and bones |
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falling in love with someone and them falling in love with you. that, to me, is truly and utterly amazing. what are the chances? |
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pretty good since we're biologically programmed by millions of years of evolution to work that way. |
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That's becuase perception of beauty isn't entirely based on physical appearance |
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I did my Psychology A-Level courrse worrk testing the theorry of matched pairrs. |
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are you posting from the tub again? |
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