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 (nobody)...and 299 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614114 Today 0 Topics 127542 |
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So, i woke up this morning. Amazing, because if I hadnt this would either be a dream, or the world went funny. Or, maybe this is a dream after all, where i dream of waking up. And about the world going funny, maybe it did after all, thats why i made this topic. So, i woke up this morning. Almost immediately i felt this overwhelming urge to take a shit. My anus felt like there was concrete inside. Thankfully, i did not give in to this urge, but stayed in bed for some seconds. Had i taken the shit, (well you might notice that in most cases, the toilet takes the shit, not you) i would surely have stepped into a mess of hairs residing on the floor. Now i do not recall ANYTHING from last night that has to do something with a wig, but i estimate the chance of such an object spontaneously materializing in your room to be incredibly small. Help would be much appreciated! |
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Yeah, it could happen. |
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but what are the odds man! I NEED FIGURES HERE! |
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1 in 3. |
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<---Happened last week. |
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. this is scary, what if it decides to materialize in myself next time? id have a scalp stuck to my leg or something |
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Be happy that it wasnt on your HEAD! |
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yes, the quality is incredibly bad if the owner does not turn up in 3 hours, i will burn it, just because i can. |
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email it to me |
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facewigs. |
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Hmm.. maybe its a merkin! |
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...you know... those wigs for your lower regions! |
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i dont know... i could fax it to ya.. |
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"gophorit" (c) afxNUMB |
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wtf im missing a wig |
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hm if you're not too far away i could throw it to you theres a katapult on my roof |
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I blame Dali for opening the floodgates to lame surrealism |
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What's so lame about surrealism? |
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I didn't say surrealism was lame, per se. |
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i understood what you meant, ninja.. nice use of "per-se" too. 9/10 |
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dali? |
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Yes, 1 in 3, I got that too. |
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1 in 3 is a ratio, the odds "per-se" are 2-1 |
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I'd say there's a 60% chance that your other personality is a transvestite. On the other hand the hair on that wig is so disheveled your other personality could be a "fur". |
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the quality is so .. so.. underwhelming... |
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Is the rest of Little Richard's body under the bed? |
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well i think his fingernails are or.. it could be the hard crust of a cheese |
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be very |
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careful if you decide to burn it - judging from the way this wig appeared, it is likely to generate oniric-anal ectoplasms during the combustion - which are really messy, and really not fun to clean. drowning it, however, will probably create bubbles. bubbles are much more fun, and might even smell of pineapple or ananasic apple depending on the quality of the wig! |
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That's a good point; you've made sure there's not a bloody scalp attached to the wig right? |
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no, i have carefully checked for human tissue. A small test where i burned one hair has proved uzims theory. The flame which started at the opposite end of the hair crawled towards my finger with an alarming speed, leaving strange yellow-white rings of smoke. on an unrelated side note, i smelled benzene too, this dissolves everything, and smells good too! |
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oh this is just great. i tried to find the wig and dispose of it once and for all, but it seems to be gone. vanished into thin air. these things posess some kind of intelligence, and are capable of reading minds too. should this thing show up around your house, do not take any risks. do not panic, get a broomstick and use a toilet or any other water based garbage disposal facility to get rid of the foul creature. +2 against undead. |
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Oh man, wigs are thigmotactic so it will probably be in some difficult to find nook and or cranny (the "and" part in case a: it found a nook really close to a cranny and could hide in both at once or b: it has divided into two miniature wigs, one occupying a nook and the other occupying a cranny. They also materialize like this in groups. They usually send a scout first which is probably what that one was. |
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They usually send a scout first which is probably what that one was. does this mean a group of wigs is to appear in this area? if so, im fucked! are there ways to protect myself from this undesired wiggling? |
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Hang one electric razor from each room where you live, then turn them all on at night (they are nocturnal). Realistically, you could never possibly shave them all as they appear by the millions. But the mere sound of this will hopefully persuade them to find another materializing location. |
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