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 Now online (1)recycle ...and 230 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614087 Today 0 Topics 127542 |
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. |
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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone |
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. |
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It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs. |
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jack handy = gay |
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gay = homosexual |
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homosexual = recycle |
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face. |
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don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like i did once. because the faster you go, the later you are. |
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hahahah! This reminds me, I need to download the Celebrity Jeopardies again. "and now for the audio clue, what continent are we looking for: ASIA" |
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I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to that old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do. |
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Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like. |
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The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco latrine. |
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"I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, 'I helped skin Bob.'" "We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me." "To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad." "As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!" "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." "Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up." "Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done." "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, 'hey, free dummy.'" "I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals." "Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because 'what is that thing?'" "Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything th |
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"...eating everything they see." "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." "Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny." "Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis." "Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition." "I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye." "When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges." "To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other." "Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick." "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late." some of those are pretty evil.. |
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the crows seemed to be calling his name, thought caw. |
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ok, you totally fucked up MY thread. totally thanks alot. REALLY. thanks, now im annoyed and that picture annoys me |
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i'm not sure i like q4 with a blue background either. it should have been seafoam. |
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q4 is a natural show-off. never get into a simpsons quote contest with him; he'll doh you under the table. |
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thanks for the look out plaidzebra. Shit List Q4Z2X |
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that guy isn't me.. i wish i knew him. i bet he's a nice person,.. with neat glasses that seem to blend into the rest of his face. i'll change it up then.. to another random person.. |
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also, you are probably right about that. |
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but look how q4 means well. he even changed his avatar for you. what a gentleman. i say bring back grimace. |
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done and done. |
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