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 Now online (1)recycle ...and 438 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614110 Today 7 Topics 127542 |
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there aren't any pictures on this page.... i don't think. but i found it QUITE amusing. |
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"Avalanche of Fury - When a man has dysentery..." i think i'll stop reading at this point |
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hahaah Airplane Blonde - A blonde who has bleached or dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'. |
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"Avalanche of Fury - When a man has dysentery, and has a score to settle with a woman. He woos her into eating his ass, then the moment she opens her mouth to lick the chocolate starfish, he releases a blend of dysenteric shit, blood and mucus. - Big C" solid gold. |
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AK Spray - After a night of drinking draft beer, you wake up and 69 with your woman only to blast a beer spatter dump in her face while yelling "drive-by!" at the moment of explosion |
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the angry pirate is pretty funny... |
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Alaskan Fire Dragon - Another good take off of the "Angry Dragon", the "Alaskan Fire Dragon" is when a girl is giving you a blowjob and you cum in her mouth unexpectedly. Plug up her mouth at the same time. Then whisper in her ear "I have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose. Actually i was talking to a lady friend of mine and we were discussing hilarious sex stories amongst a group of friends. She actually had this happen to her. I guess while cumming the guy had said something funny and it flew out of her nose. She said she was blowing her nose for at least an hour after words. We call that the "eskimo dragon" |
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"houdini" great.......... |
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Sunny Side Up - While having sex doggystyle, preferably on an empty stomach, pull out and ejaculate in the curve of her back. Then, induce vomiting over your semen. For "scrambled eggs", stir with penis. Great. I've found new meaning in my life. |
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SEX IS FUNNY HA HA AH AHAAHHAHAAHAH |
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Baby Rodeo (see also "Buckin' Bronco", "Butt Rodeo", "Fat Chick Rodeo", "Rodeo Clown", "Rodeo Sex") - (for the ladies) When riding your partner who's about to blow his load, give some good pounding strokes. When he's at the point of no return, scream out 'Let's make a baby!'. See how long you can hold on, while he tries to throw you off of his erupting member. One night stands should only be considered for the more advanced rider. |
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No it isn't. |
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Tragedy: is that you in your avatar? |
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Yes. |
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no, that chic is a lot hotter than tragedy. sorry, just a joke trag. (write me again Yo) |
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Very nice =) Hey Max, i would talk to you online but i got a fuck off essay to do. Can we catch up soon? |
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Swoosh - After you take a shit in the toilet and don't flush, you proceed to go at it doggystyle. Then when you orgasm, put her head in the toilet and flush. |
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this thread is great!! Good find! Bat Wings - When you are sitting down for an extended period of time and have to get up but your nuts are stuck to the inside of your thighs. When you try to get them unstuck without using your hands, your sack pulls with your thighs creating "Bat Wings". |
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No problem |
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Suicide Mission - Fuck a chick wearing a condom. After you climax put the condom somewhere safe. Wait until she falls asleep, wherein you blow the condom up like a balloon. You then scream, "Suicide!" and as she sits up, you pop the condom in her face, thus the "Suicide Bomber". Alley Oop K.O. - As you are doing the "Suicide Bomber", wait until she is half way down the stairs and throw a full beer can. Make sure to hit her in the head. |
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ahahah! that made me laugh out loud! |
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your getting a huge kick off this page arnt you ? |
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me 2 i took a drink of mountain dew and almost spit it out |
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virgin pusher>thanks i know, i've been reading for like an hour now. some funny shit. murray> yeah it's me, the pic is a bit too dark tho. recycle> HA-HA! ok i will. you write me too. |
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Bird Watcher - A girl who accepts cum on her face, and in her mouth, and swallows. Think about someone looking up at a flock of birds, and ... all over the face. The "swallows" part comes from the bird called a "swallow". Cumming on a birdwatcher's face is also known as "Taking a trip to San Juan Capistrano". (That's where the swallows nest every year). - Talent Scout, Washington this is funny cause i have "swallows" for tattoos. but rest assured it has NOTHING to do with that... i just think the birds are pretty. so shut up. |
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I was just about to accuse of that |
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Card Table - You bang the girl girl doggystyle while playing solitaire on her back. |
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wonderful |
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Cherokee Ambush - While a girl is giving you head, when you are about to cum, let out your best Indian war cry. When she gets scared and begins to back off, shoot it in her eye. Immediately afterwards, have all your friends come in and start the tomahawk chop. |
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"this is funny cause i have "swallows" for tattoos. but rest assured it has NOTHING to do with that... i just think the birds are pretty. so shut up." go on...... |
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Cheswick - A penis (hard on) that is wider than it is long |
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Zombie - In a dark room, you have your gal give you a blow job then jizz all over her face. Next poke out her eyes and turn on the lights. Watch her walk around with her arms extended going "huhhh...." - Mark aka "The Burb", Wellington Co. |
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Danza Slap (see also "Tony D*nza") - When a girl goes down on you and after you blow your load, you pull it out and smack her in the face with your erect cock. You loudly exclaim, "Who's the boss!" |
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booooooo |
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David C*pperfield - 1) You're poking a chick. As you're pushing in, the other end of your cock mysteriously appears out of her ear.... and her mouth... and her ass. Presto! - Mr. Blue, Minnesota 2) When you fuck a chick from behind and spit on her back so she thinks you came. Then when she turns around to give you a kiss, you blow the load in her face. |
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Decker - This involves two guys and one girl. The girl gives one guy head, and the other guy puts it in her ass. While this is happening, the two guys play cards and exchange high fives. |
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Donkey Kong - This is when you tie a bitch up, throw a barrel at her asshole boyfriend and then fuck her up the ass! Feel free to let loose and make the coin "cha ching" arcade sound and pound your chest like a gorilla! Cut the bitch if she gives you any trouble. You're a gorilla for Christ's sake. |
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Jelly Flop - Having sex with a petroleum jelly jar, cum in the jar, wipe it on your lips because you ran out of lip balm, and proceed to kiss your mother. - Steve, Josh, Pat, and Matt and Fuck JHU |
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Dr. Mario - While performing gentleman's style (anal), lift up her legs and walk her around in a wheelbarrow fashion. |
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Raising the Dead - The act of going to a graveyard, digging up the grave of a random chick, taking her corpse out of the coffin and fucking her so hard that her body is moving around so violently it looks as if she is coming back to life. - Deuce Bigalow, New York |
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Grody. |
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Hacksaw Jim D*ggan - When a foreign girl is sucking you off, start a big "U-S-A!... U-S-A!" chant. When you're about to cum, bust a nut in her left eye... smack her in the face with your 2x4... stick out your thumb and yell out "HOOOOOOOOOO!" |
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i do not approve of these jokes :( its against my prudent upbringing |
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look, i got a joke in the mail today: Chers amis, Un homme se balade dans Central Park à New York. Soudain, il voit un pit bull attaquer une petite fille. Il se précipite, attrape le chien et finit par le tuer, sauvant ainsi la gamine. Un policier qui a vu la scène arrive et lui dit : - Vous êtes un héros. Demain, tout le monde pourra lire à la une des journaux "un courageux New-Yorkais sauve la vie d'une enfant." - L'homme répond : - Mais ... je ne suis pas de New York ! - Et bien on lira : un courageux américain sauve une petite fille... - Mais... je ne suis pas américain ! - Et qu'est ce que vous êtes alors ? - Je suis pakistanais. Le lendemain, les journaux titraient : "un extrémiste islamiste massacre un chien américain". En voor Hollanders en Friezen (hele vrije vertaling): Een man wandelt door het Zuiderpark in Den Haag. Plots ziet hij een pit-bull terrier een klein meisje aanvallen. Hij schopt de hond weg en red zo het leven van het meisje. Een politie agent die de scene heeft gezien arriveert zegt: "U bent een held. Heden kunnen ze in de krant zeggen 'moedige hagenaar redt het leven van een kind'". De man antwoord: "maar ik ben geen hagenaar" Ah, zegt de politie agent: "… een moedige Hollander redt het leven van een klein meiske … " "maar, ik ben ook geen Hollander" "Wat bent u dan wel?" "Ik ben Afghaan" De volgende dag staat er in de krant: 'een islamitische extremist slacht een hond af in het Zuiderpark". Groeten, Bjørn ===== http://www.mdczimbabwe.org http://www.state.gov/g/drl/rls/16501.htm http://www.samba.org http://www.linux.org http://www.klitesite.com/ http://www.amnesty.nl/aanmelden_supersnel.shtml |
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ahhahahaha that is a classic. |
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no, it's pretty awful, actually. |
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dont listen to mr humourless there |
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He's right, though. |
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which part didnt you like? |
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The part that is the whole thing which is awful. |
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