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 (nobody)...and 572 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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So far I've had the shittiest christmas ever. I'm depressed, pissed off, and I feel the need to write some of it out..... It all starts when a girl gives me her number around dec 10, we talk on the phone every day, I think "wow finally somthing to look foward to...". Makes it easier getting up in the morning. Either way a week later she asks me to go to a movie with her..... The day comes and she isnt feeling well, so we dont go. Things stay the same, phone every day, nice to talk to ect.... Go ahead a few days.. Its dec 25, christmas, I go to my aunts expecting to see alot of my family there, only to find there are 3 other people aside from myself there. So the family is fighting again, wonderful. My christmas spirit is killed. I dont hear from my mother at all, and I know my father is off with his other kids, being a dad to them..... Dec 26, depressing chrismas is over, girl from work calls, we are susposed to go out tonite, she tell me "i'm not ready for a relationship" because of her schooling and the such. So here I am, wondering "Why the hell did she give me her number, why the hell did she ask me out to a movie..." I dont know what the fuck to think anymore.... I've lost faith in the world. I swear if i had a gun handy, i'd do some deep thinking first tho.... Dead end job, no money, fucking messed up familiy, being lead off a cliff by a girl, all while I see happy families everywhere with big smiles on their faces, not a care in the world.... How am i susposed to get up in the morning and give a shit about anything anymore... Well writing that crap helps a little I spose... Not looking for sympathy or any of that shit ok. |
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christmas is only jesus' birthday. you dont have to feel good on that day. |
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welcome to the board sorry it's on such a negative note. if family is so important to you, maybe you could concentrate on starting your own. |
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hahaha. AHAHAHAHA. |
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I know you dont have too, but thats all I see at work, on tv, outside..... I dont know what to do and I thought writing that down would help... but I still dont know what to do. I have a tower of rage..... Each time I get pissed I simply add to the tower, but I feel its gonna topple soon, and I'll snap, I cant hold my god damn hands still because my nerves are shot |
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Life is life. Shit happens then it changes. What seems bad one day can seem trivial the next. You just got to maintain and stay positive. |
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I'm only 21, I couldnt support a family. I've posted here many times before, just havnt been around lately. Nicks Job a boj, Jawhob, Jobber... and the such..... That shit isnt funny either.. |
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"Life is life. Shit happens then it changes. What seems bad one day can seem trivial the next. You just got to maintain and stay positive. " Only problem with that is I find myself saying that every second fucking day. |
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if i had a shred of dignity that blatent laughing may have offended me. |
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one thing i have learned is to not let others determine how i feel. |
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Hey man, welcome to this board. Depending on who's online you'll probably get sympathy or indifference, but either way you've just found yourself a new home at xltronic. I'm sorry things aren't going well for you, but I'm glad you don't have a gun because I think you'll discover something to live for, and that maybe it was there all along. Oh, it sucks about that girl too, girls can be pretty stupid about the whole relationship thing.. So what kind of music are you into? |
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you cant shut people out, I've tried and it doesnt work, makes life even worse. |
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why the name change? |
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I've loved aphex twin.... for a long time. Sadly I dont think I could listen to some songs atm cuz (as gay as it sounds) they would make me cry. |
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guys and girls want the same thing, they're just out of sync with each other. |
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well didn't that turn out to be a wasted welcome post... =p |
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Yee I still think i have a chance with this girl, I just wish she knew what the fuck she did to me. I wonder if asking her why she lead me on is a good idea. |
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it's not gay, it's the human psyche at work. I don't cry to songs often, actually I've only ever cried to a song once, and it was Aphex Twin's Alberto Balsam... The first time I heard that, it seemed to just sum up everything that was wrong with the world, and especially my life.. and it was so beautiful yet haunting at the same time.. I've loved AFX ever since. |
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communication has always worked for me, despite that i try to avoid it as much as possible and i dont really like sharing anything about myself with others. |
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yee alberto balsalm may help now |
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Better things than using a gun to kill yourself: a) Become a psycho b) Become a suicide bomber c) Become a hard drugs user and have some fun d) Just don't give a fuck about anything, go out and just do what you want. I have tried all 4 of these options at various stages of my life and with the exception of b, been relatively successful. It probably has a lot to do with your age. Early 20's are when the majority of young males contemplate suicide. It need not be a negative thing as well, by contemplating death it can often help you understand life. |
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"Become a psycho" My tastes are so different compared to every1 elses I tend to think I'm half crazy already. "Drugs" Only drugs i'm into is alchol and weed. "Just dont give a fuck" I dont give a fuck any more, I just act like I do to try and make people I care about happy, I havnt given a fuck about much in 4 or 5 years. |
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"by contemplating death it can often help you understand life." that was harsh, well said man. (harsh meaning good/true/deep) |
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name change because i hadnt logged on in such a long time, my old account was gone |
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My life is over too |
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i dont hate my life, i hate everything in it. i don't have anything to look forward to. |
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I just ran out of things |
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I could hardly lift myself off the floor a couple hours ago |
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I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time, Jawhob. I don't know all the specifics of your situation, but I do know that it will get better. Don't give up. You can always waste time and have a laugh here, anyway |
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"You can always waste time and have a laugh here, anyway" isn't xlt great? :) |
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Sure is. |
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aww |
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hey dude, how's your leg? long time no see |
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we're all fucked, the human race is suffering together, that's what makes it so great to be alive |
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at least we're not sadam hussain |
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you like dragging other people into your pit? there is hope, always. just have to know where to look. |
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rock bottom is sometimes where all the bs clears up and you can refresh and get a new start. |
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My Christmas went with a.... a..... what's the opposite of a bang? |
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Life is a beautiful thing, even when it is ugly. You might not recognize that when you're in the middle of one of the ugly bits. :D |
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Christmas was nice. I was pissed off that my entire family was swarming around my house like locusts, but now that they're gone, I'm lonely. Go fig-yer! |
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implosion? |
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My christmas was the best i ever had, a good family, lots of presents, and the second day i haven't left my bedroom together with my gf. Can't imagine a better way to spend christmas. |
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mine was great. i mean, i didn't get fuck all for christmas, but rather spent it with someone very very special to me. her presence i felt was the only presents i needed. (get it? :p) awwww warm fuzzzies |
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hey man, i didn't have a great christmas either. but that doesn't mean you should be depressed. worse things could happen. remember that the fact you have a computer makes you better off than at least 80% of the world - they are probably having worse holidays than you. i speak from experience - i didn't get anything this year, nor did i get anything last year, but i didn't bother me. my stepmom was shot in the leg before christmas this year, and i was shocked, but she lived, and she's fine. it's good that you are talking about your problems - they tend to bother you more when you bottle them up inside. but seriously man, don't sweat it. just because some girl is not down with you doesn't mean you need to be upset. and your family's fighting? i know this all too well - cause my dad and stepmom always fought during christmas. it's best to talk to some friends about, or better yet, talk to your family about it, and if they love you, they'll try their best to change. if they don't, maybe you need a change of scenery. i know that's drastic, but it's what you need to do. anyways, good luck mate, and merry christmas. "the man in the desert without shoes complained until he met the man with no feet." |
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Fuck Jesus. Read Camus. |
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Hey Refund, I'm surprised you rememberd. My leg is doin better now, I sport a few shiny scars, I can run about 75% as well as i could before, can almost kneel down on it. Didnt you hurt your leg around the same time? If so how is it now? |
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what happened to your leg? are you an athlete? |
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fuck man, you're doin better than me, I can't run on it well enough to be able to run when I feel like, but I've also been working it like a motherfucker,.. lifting 120kg panels up the stairs in skyscrapers and such, out of all those things there you got going wrong, there's one you can fix your job, go out and get a decent job, it makes managing stuff a lot easier 1) messed up family? get some money and move out! (I haven't seen my family in like 6 months (excluding my dad, who I work with)) my family is messed up, but I'm fine! 2) girlfriend hassles? with a job you can afford to go out clubbing/socializing and get a BETTER girlfriend and mostly, if you have a positive outlook on the world, then the owrld is a positive place, I know a guy who lives in a paid off condo in the city, has the best girlfriend he could ever hope for in the world, and a job that's so easy and high paying it shouldn't exist, and he's always morbid and depressed, I consider myself luckier than him because I'm happy in my position, and you know what, you should be too,... so what if your families messed up? so what if you're girlfriend is leading you off a cliff, all it means is that you have less baggage to carry around, cheer up old chap |
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dude, that cheered me up, and I'm not even the one we're trying to cheer up here! you kick ass refund. |
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=D |
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