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I know this is a sensitive subject and it's most likely going to bring up extreme debate/anger/confusion etc. but I just found out a girl i dated a while back is 6 weeks pregnant with our kid. Im not financially stable to raise one and this girl also smokes and does drugs. its a very f'd up situation i know but im pro choice and she has already decided to get an abortion.. im doing anything to support her. i guess im looking for feedback cause im really upset. plz help. |
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6 weeks? That's not... Well, I see not problem. But I guess people get shot for having that opinion in your country. |
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Please, we don't need any more un-children. Do you remember when you were a fetus? No, nobody does, that's because a fetus is more like a fish or an insect; it's not self aware-- it's not like killing a human. Oh, and buy an I [heart] Abortion t-shirt: |
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Whoa, i'm drunk, i meant *"un-needed-children" thanks xoxoxoxoxo |
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All right, that link didn't work either, regardless, the url is as follows: www.likebuttah.com |
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supporting your girlfriend is the best thing you can do, i guess. its easy to underestimate the impact the abortion has on her (or girls in general). |
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I think that if you are not financally able to support the child and its mother does drugs then it would probably suffer in the long run anyway. I think that it's a very hard but wise choice that you've made. Having a child can really fuck up your life if you're not ready for one. Jus make sure she knows that you support her with the choice that she's made and it should work out ok. Good luckx |
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In this case it would be morre crruel to brring the child into the worrld. Don't feel bad. |
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Seek counselling is the best advice I can offer. There are many specialists who can help you both. |
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I agree...it seems a more "attractive" option to avoid the child from being born if you cannot support it as a father should. Also the mother doesn't seem very stable either I'm afraid. Of course it all depends on what the mother thinks. If she refuses to have an abortion then there's not much you can do... |
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i hate zealous christians |
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forget what I said in that 2nd paragrpah... didn't read well enough. DOH! |
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thanks for the support guys.. realllly helps right now, wont be worryin as much atleast. |
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do wear a rubber next time. |
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freedom of choice |
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i've been in a somewhat similar position before. fortunately, my g/f wasnt pregnant as she thought. she was gonna keep it if she was. and i was seriously shitting myself, cos like yourself..i'm not in a position to support a child. |
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How late in a pregnancy would you condone an abortion? |
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I'm always for abortions. I think abortions should be mandatory. There are too many fucking people in the world. But seriously get your gf to start taking the damn pill. |
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definately... in my instance, the choice was made for me, now i'm the father a wonderful 3 year old girl, the love of my life. however, none of it was my choice... my ex was lying to me about being on the pill and purposely got pregnant. why you ask? i have no clue. life and its wonderful mysteries. i stressed abortion for the longest time, i mean, neither of us were ready or financially stable enough for Kaya (our daughter). she did alot of drugs and lost in a abyss of ignorance. dropped out of university, but she made a choice for the both of us. |
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I think the lesson to be learnt from this is don't get a girl pregnant unless you can deal with the circumstances. Obvious yes, but some people are so bloody stupid! |
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Do you love your wife, or are you only with her because you had a kid with her? |
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as long as you're happy with things the way they are - hell, that's all that matters, aight. |
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hey, don't want to start a fight, but abortion is wrong... no matter how you try to defend it, it's murder... if you can't handle a baby, don't have sex, or AT LEAST wear a condom and have the gf take birth control... my feelings about your situation is that you two got yourselves into it, and you shouldn't be allowed to abort the baby... you should have to have the baby, and deal with it... if a girl is rapped, and she gets pregnant, well she really has no choice now does she, and that's a bit of a foggy area there for me... I still think abortion is wrong, but in a case like that how can you really force a girl who really might not be ready, to have the kid... |
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Sometimes its not worth destroying TWO people's lives to make sure that ONE life lives. I think everyone treats death way to serious anyways. |
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no, see I totally disagree, if you think a baby is going to ruin your life, then I repeat, don't have sex, or at least be smart about it and wear a condom and have the gf use birth control... if you can't even do that, and the girl gets pregnant, well it's your own fault as far as I can see... and you should have to deal with it... but again, I don't want to start a fight... just expressing my opinion here... |
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Yes, opinions are fun. But ultimately I think its up to the women. The ladies have the final say in whether or not the guy can stick his penis in there. So do also believe that rape victims should have to keep the baby too? "No man wants kids. Any man who says or thinks he wants children is no longer a man, but rather a pussy-whipped freak of nature. You are no longer a man and you are out of the man club." - Bill Hicks. |
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The surgical removal of an embryo at a 6 week stage of development hardly constitutes murder. Lets not over do it. |
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i'm no longer with her. and my daughter is with her as well... but i still love them both. |
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"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents" -Bob Ross I think abortion is a mistake. The idea for the child has already begun. It is easy for me to say because I am not pregnant. But it's sad... you'll never forget the squandered possibility... at any rate I wish the best for you and yours |
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i mostly agree with Funk, here's why. You are now having an abortion cuz you fucked up. Instead of you taking responsibilty, something else, human or not, has to die because of you. I know it's a tough situation, but you fucked up and now something else has to pay the consequences. You can bring the kid to term and give it away for another family to adopt. I'm adopted, and it could have been from the very same circumstances as your own, but don't put your fuck up on other people, especially when those people don't have a choice. |
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The Pro-life stance, taken to it's logical conclusion, should be against men wanking. Just as an embryo has a potential to be a fully functioning human so has every individual sperm. In fact, I like to go up to pro-lifers protesting outside abortion clinics and ejaculate right there in front of them. I must've murdered literally trillions of potential humans. Should I be up on a charge of genocide? |
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I trust that was directed at Funk, and not me, as I am not pro-life. |
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its the "the idea of a child has already begun" what bothers me. there is no given idea, or absolute if you like, of when that ought to be. a lawyer has different ideas than a doctor for instance. on the other hand, abortion in this sense is (arguably) more like killing an idea than an actual human being. taking the point of view that abortion is murder, it can be argued that it is equally murderous to give this future-human a world where both he and his surroundings (parents) suffer from his existence. i think there are cases where this future-human is better of dead than alive and that therefore abortion is the better option. |
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Nah, I just threw that in the discussion. It wasn't aimed at anyone. |
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ok. I think the difference is that sex is supposed to lead to child birth, or it has the potential to. having a wank doesn't lead to child birth, and biologically was never meant to. |
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Yes but every wiggly little sperm is a potential human... Now excuse me while I consign an entire nation into a neatly folded Kleenex. |
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lol, I don't buy that sperm = human bullshit that is something the right wingers made up. I'll wank when I want to, and fuck anyone who says my sperm are little people. |
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look... yeah, sex is meant to have kids... biologically. But we arent primitive animals anymore... we do plenty of unnatural things. So if your argument is to not have abortions, because in nature, you only have sex to have kids... then you better rethink your life... in nature, you dont have 4 course meals, because it tastes good... you do it cause you need to survive. In nature, you dont listen to sounds for pleausre (ie music) you listen to sounds, so you can navigate and be on gaurd in your environment. In nature you dont stare at images for fun (tv, movies, art) you have vision so you can navigate etc... my point is... sex is no longer just for making babies. Its a pleasureable activity. Its also deep (or at least can be: ie making love, and not just fucking). it boils down to religious beleifs. do you beleive in a soul? if so... then ok, you feel its killing a new soul. Fair enough defense... and ill stop there. but if you dont beleive in souls or the like... then I dont see the problem. The child isnt even developed yet... when you abort. In fact, a child isnt even SELF AWARE of its own existance until several years into life. Its better to end it, then to bring it into a world with 2 unready parents, who do drugs. There are far too many fucked up people out there, due to unwanted children. |
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goDel everything can be argued out of absolutism. what it comes down to is personal belief as far as when the idea of a child begins.... i happen to believe that the energy that makes us human begins at conception. also i dont think it's anyone's place to predict that an unborn child's life is going to be a life full of suffering.... apparently even the vast majority of those who suffer would still choose life over death or everyone would be killing themselves |
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Bingo! Now replace the word 'sperm' with embryo and 'wank' with abortion. I rest my case, your Honour. |
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And speaking of all this, does anyone find any irony in the recent florida case where the state executes the man who killed the abortion doctor? justified murder rules. |
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I love the Pro-lifer's who murder people. |
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fuckwagon, what do you mean with "everything can be argued out of absolutism"? i agree on the "it comes down to personal belief" part, btw |
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goDel - i just mean that it can be argued that there are no absolutes |
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I'm not quite sure why humans feel the need to try to decide what's right or wrong for others. I think that the only time one should have to form an opinion about this is if they happen to be put in the situation where they might need it. If it happens to be morally wrong (something other humans can't seem to decide) then they are the only ones who will have to deal with the consequences (after death or whatever, if they do happen to be judged then). It won't affect those who take it upon themselves to try to enforce their opinions. |
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i think its the persons choice ive been in the situation where i thought i was pregnant and well i think that i would not only b ruining my life but the life of my unborn child by having it i would always resent it i would love it but not want it. i think that in this situation shes doing the right thing and all u can do mate is just stand by her, and use protection nxt time so neither of u has to go through this again. hope it all works out 4 the best xxxx |
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i think it should always be on option. i shy away from anything that makes for more limits. its my only universal philosophy. |
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it is up to the woman because she is the one with the fetus in her body. yes, the male has the sperm that helps bring the baby, but he is not the carrier for 9 months. to say that the woman has no right to abort is to basically treat her like she's not even human. centuries of sexist brainwashing really can make people think fucked up things. if you are feeling hurt about it and you are a guy, realize that she may also feel the same hurt - so respect her decision and read up on issues. |
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i agree... but I also think the woman should take into account the mans opinion... because it IS his baby too. He might not carry it... but it affects his life as well. It really should be a joint decision... |
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yes, like i said, both parties may be severely affected emotionally by the situation - but in no rational and ethical sense does the idea 'oh i think she she have the child unless she was raped' make any practical sense in our day and age of thinking. if the guy wants the kid, he's going to have to talk to the girl about how she feels and what sort of financial, emotional compromises they can make. if he is unsure and she is also, and having a child ruins their future plans for themselves, abortion isn't necessarily the answer, but pro-life isn't either. it depends on the couple but if the woman feels strongly about not wanting to carry the child or even have a child, i think her decision supersedes all others. it's HER body, not yours. |
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