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 Now online (1)dariusgriffin ...and 423 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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So the conclusion is made from the last couple of months of my life. First of my girlfriend (now ex) moved to Denmark, and left me with a $600 phone-bill, where I maybe was responsible for $150 of that bill... Anyway - because of the situation (and that she owed me some money besides that) she promised me to send half the money to my account within the first month, and the other half within the next. Well - almost 2 months has past now, and I haven't seen any money from her. Besides that my bank is sending me notices and that my phone (+Internet) is in risk of being cut off, it really pisses me off that she is screwing with me like that. Yesterday I ended up throwing (literally) one of my friends out of my apartment because he started saying that I owed him money for shit that normally would have been accepted as friendship-things (we where both drunk...yes..it was on a Monday). Anyhow - I think money screws up most relations. All these things can happen, especially when borrowing friends money. One of my friends in Denmark owes me like $180, which I know will be impossible for him to return to me. Any thoughts on the subject? |
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mm. sticky situation indeed. a real pickle, yes...hmm. i just ran outta metaphors. eh. but anyways...hmm. i usually actually never lend friends money for that very reason. i don't care if they think i'm cheap or that i don't trust them...that's beside the point. they wouldn't pay be back. plain and simple. |
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*me |
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yeah I know what you mean, that happens with cetain friends...for instance once I had a friend keep track of the cost of dinner that his mother made me when I would kick it at his house, and told me to pay him back...even though he didnt cook it or pay for it, now that is just sick but with my close friends its never a problem, we cover each other when we have it......... |
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i lend a few of my good friends money on a pretty regular basis. at poker games, to cover bills etc... but all of them always pay me back; often, even after i have forgotten their debt. i think it just comes down to knowing who you can trust and who you cannot. I think it says a lot about a person if they can borrow something and not feel guilty about not paying it back. i suppose i don't have many of those kinds of friends or at least i don't lend those guys money. |
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back in the days when I was doing drugs, this guy gave me lines (speed) for a couple of weeks. Like every time I was visiting him, he gave me (and my other fiends) lines. Suddenly 2 weeks later this guy told me that I owed him $60 for the lines he gave me. Some people doesnt understand what the word "giving" means ... |
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I know how it feels, and i agree too, i've had relationships destroyed over money. Sometimes i don't know if i'm greedy, or i dunno.. It just seems in the past i've given than what i've received which should be a "friendship thing" as you say, but i don't like that. I dunno, it's just the way i am. I don't like giving and not receiving thanks atleast or you know something in return. It would be different maybe if i truely loved someone, but not just friends and flings with girls etc. I had a gf who cost me $2000 over a phone bill. The stupid bitch moved so she asked me to call her in which i did, on her mobile, that apparently was on the same network as my home phone. Well she told me $2000 later that it wasn't, otherwise it would have only been $3 a night unlimited, instead of $15 an hour!! I was only like 17 a the time and my mum paid for it. And i had to work like everyday after school and on weekends for like 3 months in a fucking supermarket to pay her back. And then without showing any remorse, she (the ex-gf) still wanted me to call her every night! And i ended a friendship with a friend about a year ago. I didn't "end it" on purpose, we just sort of haven't talked to each other since we had a fight about a year ago now. It was over a stupid video that i rented out on my account and he promised he would take it back. So i said ok and we got it out, watch it, i left, he said he would take it back the next morning. So then like a few months later i get a phone call from the video store saying the fine is like $280 and it hasn't been returned!! So we had a huge fight and yeah. The arsehole just said i'm sorry it's not my fault (i won't go into how he lost it).. and didn't offer to pay it back. I know it was my fault for leaving the video there and trusting him to take it back, but apparently friends are supposed to be trustworthy, and any decent friend would take it back for you or atleast tell you until the fucking fine got so big!! |
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280 AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS FOR A FUCKING MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-O |
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Is that sarcasm? |
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no...it's just like...the currency converter said that it was like 1500SEK...that's fucking much! |
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Ah, yeah it is. $6 AUD is the average price for an overnight video here. |
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...I remember the days where you could rent a video for like 20 danish kroner (that's $4.7 AUD) |
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money can't spoil a good friendship! |
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is that erika badhu? (or however you write it..) |
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erykah badu i think - she's the one |
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I don't mind paying for friends to do something if they're hard up or poor at the time, particularly with those it tends to balance out with overtime. For example, my best mate used to sometimes pay for my entry to clubs etc. when I was a student and he was working and now it's the other way round I do the same for him. Similairly, if I book tickets for a gig etc. I have no problem getting the money a bit later. I would never "lend" someone cash though, unless I was certain they'd pay me back- sure fire way to fall out with friends otherwise. One mate always tries to get out of paying for things (he actually made a couple of quid hiring a video last night for example!) and often conveniantly forgets his wallet. Last time he did that at a pub another mate ripped into him about it. The guilty one started making out that the other one was unreasonable asking him to go home (literally 2 mins walk) and get his wallet. |
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I agree with you Ceri, its not nice when people take advantage, an old colleague of mine had lent some cash to someone as a nice gesture, and they spent it on something unnecessary. I'd help out any good friend were I could if they were in need, and wouldn't even perhaps expect them to repay me...depending upon what kind of sums of money you were talking about. I wouldn't be very pleased though if I learnt they had wasted the cash though. BTW..no begging letters, I'm not loaded by no means.... lol!! Some people do have more money than others that how it is, some friends and family don't earn that much, and for me to perhaps buy cinema tickets or something, is no big deal to me - I don't expect them to have to buy next time |
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never had a problem |
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when I was 21, I moved into a flat with the sister of my brother's friend's girlfriend (now wife). When it was obvious that we didn't get along (she was a shallow schmuck and I am a profound philosopher *ahem*), and we moved out, she sued me for half the phone bill, even tho I NEVER used the telephone (an instrument I loathe).. well, she took me to court, which I didn't know about til AFTERWARDS, and got a result (plus costs).. then I tried to appeal, but was advised wrongly.. by the courts! and lost the appeal on a technicality, even tho I had furnished proper evidence, including a letter from here in which she refused to send me an itemised phonebill, and tried to threaten me with having her friends break my legs! THAT made me chuckle -- the experience kinda made me lose faith in the justice system... but, on the upside, my friends ran her out of town, and she moved to a small village in the west-coast of Scotland. |
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the sister of my brother's friend's girlfriend impossible to understand who she was |
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haha I put that in just for you Iggy! :P my brother had a friend - this friend had a girlfriend (now his wife) -- his girlfriend had a sister -- that's who I shared the flat with |
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i am sooooo glad that i dont have to deal with this sort of thing. i have no idea how i have avoided it. |
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When people fabricate that level of "disconnectedness" from the individual, it's usually a less believable story ;) |
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now I understand.... really |
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it's a true story - I was fucked well and truly. |
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I know, I believe you, I was just joking that when people usually say stuff like, "my best mate's nan's dog's vet's great aunt..." there's a fair chance the next bit will be lies! :) On a flip side of the coin, a flatmate tried to get out of paying his share of the bill (1/3 of the standing charge) on the grounds that he never made calls, despite the fact he was forever being rung on the phone (which is all I use it for, I rarely make outgoing calls). |
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All I wanted was some money. |
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i dont get myself into these situations. money's a thing i dont fuck with, because i need it to live. |
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If I borrow (anything but in this case) money, nomatter what sum, I return it. But in relations you give and take - no need to count*. If your friendship/relationship is good - bouth of you will profit from it =) I still have a bad habit of counting. If somebody buys me stuff, eventhough they just buy me a beer, I feel like I have to buy them something in return, like in this case, a beer. Money isn't healthy. But society was built upon the idea of it =/ |
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I know what you mean, a lot of people's financial problems seem self inflicted. We all buy things occassionally that we can't really afford or perhaps spend more one month than we have coming in, the trick is knowing when to say, right that's it- no more "non essential" purchases till next payday. Some people just seem to be fuckups who lack the willpower to either: a) Stop spending or b) Increase their income (I'm talking about doing temporary part time or cash in hand work) when they need to or are really in debt. People who just do something stupid like buy a flash car they can't afford the repayments on are beyond me. Consumerism gone mad. I'd be really brassed off if I lent someone money to get out of a tight spot then found they'd blown it on a new mixer or a weeks drinking. |
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yeah its an odd thing money between frriends, sometimes u need the money back |
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One of the things that define "love" according to the holy matrimony (church wedding) "...love does not count the cost". :) I know what you mean about feeling obliged to return the favour. On one hand, I do favours for people or lend them money all the time and never expect anything back, but when I'm the indebted one I find it hard just to accept that other people are happy not to worry about it. |
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yeah the same with me. I feel like I need to return favours quickly... But no need to rush... I have a very specialy way of looking at money (as it exists in the society). So basically unless it's about MONEY itself I do not count the cost of the favour in question, but value the favour (the action) - from my friend to me. |
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my policy....... NEVER loan money to people and expect it back...... usually people who need to borrow money, don't have the means to pay you back. if you get it BACK.....consider yourself lucky! i've NEVER had a friend ASK to borrow money (excluding lunch money or something insignificant like that), if they did i would offer to co-sign a small loan from a bank, but otherwise i'm not in the LENDING biznass.....and i work hard for my moolah....so i would politely decline. along the same line, i would never ask my friends for a loan. golden rule i guess ......REWLZ =0) |
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i take that back...i SOO hope im wrong...looks like i've been nicked today...the thing that bothers me, is that the only person who could do that is a very good friend (i so hope im wrong)...it was about 600 EUR which is not all that much, but to think a friend did it - thats just terrible i hope i just missplaced it...but unfortunately it doesnt seem that way... what would you do if this occured to you? would you ask your friend? (i dont think im going to...cos it seems so unbelivable...) |
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I'm very careless('care less') with my money. I lavish all my friends with expensive gifts and dine on only the finest cuisine. I buy hardcover books on a whim. |
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Thats because people are stingy fucks about money.....and never face their own shit. |
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please...someone... what would you do if this happened to you? (is it best to leave it as it is?) |
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you have to make a choice here, and it's a difficult one. one.....if you ask him and he did it, would he admit it? if not, would you wanna be friends with a liar and a thief? two.....if it's not really that much, and he's a good friend....and you wanna keep things the way they are....don't ask thing is.....will you ever trust him again, if you DON'T ask? or will you trust him if he says NO, and you believe he did? comes down to TRUST in the end, and what you can LIVE with. good luck! |
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...totally heart-breaking... |
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..yeah, so can any of you lot lend me like 40 bucks so i can buy a sack? i'll pay you back like tuesday and shit. |
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just remember YOU had nothing to do with the choices your friend made..... remember people who take 'others' possessions, whatever they are, have to know there may be consequences to their actions....=/ |
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there were like 2 times in my whole life i felt so bad...i couldnt get it off my mind the whole day...it will get better, surely but at the moment im...its just hard to describe...seems like the longer you're friend with someone the more it hurts when something goes wrong...have no idea how i'll feel about this in a week or month...i wish i wouldnt be like this, but this is just something i cant really control...its weird... |
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i lost my best mate of 12 years over money. he was a sponger and you can only go on trying to ignore it for so long. it came to a head when we shared a flat a couple of years ago and he conveniently forgot about his share of bills etc. then acted all innocent when confronted. at the end of the day a real friend doesn't do that so i'm better off losing contact with him. |
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I'm quite lucky how money never got the better of my friends and I. It had every oppourtunity aswell, seeing as we all deal drug to each other and whatnot, and often shit will happen like I'll get something and be a bit short so the friend will say "S'ok, can you pay me next week?" We just make sure everyone keeps it even, like if you owe someone money, you pay it back as fast as you can, and it's all good. |
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