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Last Wednesday, I was lucky enough to be among thousands of eager fans in the crowded Iron Chef amphitheatre as Genghis the Notorious Lobster Torturer paraded around the arena adorned in his token lobster armor. His opponent was formidable, Vlad the Flinger of Tortillas. The cheering died down to an eerie silence as the gate slowly opened to reveal Vlad... and an ominous sneak scent attack of fried vegetables! Ghengis immediately shoved cocoa puffs up his nostrils to block the scent while countering with the essence of onion. Vlad, now crying uncontrollably, began charging him armed with sausage numchucks but Genghis quickly hopped in a donut hole portal, thus reappearing 15 seconds in the past to apply bannana peels under Vlad's charging feet. Fifteen seconds later Vlad slipped and grabbed Genghis and flung him into a blender. An unphased Genghis crawled out, but now with his lobster armor in shreds. (When Vlad slipped his numchucks flew in the audience, and I caught them!! OMG!!!) The two ten foot titans circled eachother now in recognition of eachother's formidability, and following the tradition of cooking gladiators a thousand generations past, each sat down behind a counter and prepared to cook their beastly creations. Both raised their spoons and awaited the gong struck by the emperor himself. Instantly, Vlad began building a giant SUPER VLAD out of meatballs and pixy sticks while genghis concocted a strange brew out of strange spices and chocolate milk... please see "iron chef" on page 17-b to continue |
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You know you've been watching too much "Iron Chef" when... :\ |
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*eats a potato* |
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*eats a yellow bell pepper* |
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Dammit! My stupid dog ate Vlad's sausage numchucks! |
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BAM! |
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17-b iron chef cont... Genghis finished his potion first. (the announcers quickly talked with food scientists to see if they knew what it was) It was a 15 second invincibility potion! Genghis tried to open the hatch to his lobster shell helmet to drink the potion, but the previous blender attack had rendered it diffucult to open! Pretty soon Vlad took advantage of the opportunity and hurriedly finished SUPER VLAD (but in his hurry forgot to program it to kill Genghis!) SUPER VLAD snagged the potion from genghis and, with his 15 second invincibliity, uppercutted the emperor in the stands who went flying to his doom! (the death of an emperor was unprecedented in iron chef history). After the invincibility wore off, SUPER VLAD began smashing the amphitheatre, taking the audience with it... please see "iron chef" on page 17-c to continue |
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