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Morgoth
from Stella-town (Belgium) on 2003-03-18 04:26 [#00601539]
Points: 1264 Status: Regular
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A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War
George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC
Dear Governor Bush:
So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I’m glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn’t sure if I could take much more. So I’m glad to hear that today is Truth Day, ’cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:
1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON’T FIND THEM! Why? ’Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don’t want to kill him! Funny how that works!
2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here’s what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.
3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.
4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even w
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Morgoth
from Stella-town (Belgium) on 2003-03-18 04:27 [#00601540]
Points: 1264 Status: Regular
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4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won’t have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.
5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let’s see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What’s that you say? You don’t THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don’t think so either!
6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn’t even have this country known as America if it weren’t for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers -- Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. -- spent many years in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can’t get out of.
Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I’m guessing there ar
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Morgoth
from Stella-town (Belgium) on 2003-03-18 04:28 [#00601541]
Points: 1264 Status: Regular
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Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn’t like to see a good ass-whoopin’ every now and then (especially when it ’s some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year’s election. Of course, that’s still a long ways away, so we’ll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!
But, hey, who knows -- maybe you’ll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!
Yours,
Michael Moore
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bill_hicks
from my city is amazing it is calle on 2003-03-18 04:57 [#00601580]
Points: 4286 Status: Lurker
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I always thought michael moore was a clever man. Until now.
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Meho Krljic
from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2003-03-18 04:58 [#00601581]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict
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Pardon my ignorance, but who is he?
And, this letter is funny.
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bill_hicks
from my city is amazing it is calle on 2003-03-18 05:00 [#00601583]
Points: 4286 Status: Lurker
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A big fat beardie commie from the states.
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Jarworski
from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-03-18 05:01 [#00601585]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker | Followup to bill_hicks: #00601580
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I changed my mind once I read 'Stupid White Men'. I've got Bowling For Columbine in the house, maybe that'll swing my view
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Meho Krljic
from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2003-03-18 05:02 [#00601586]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict
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Hmm, I sense a disagreement with his letter in your posts... Ah well, to each their own I guess.
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Jarworski
from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-03-18 05:03 [#00601588]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00601586
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I just think that it's very weak
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Meho Krljic
from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2003-03-18 05:05 [#00601590]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict
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I wasn't referring to your post, but to Bill's.
But, anyway, I didn't read that book, so i can't comment on it. I can comment on his letter posted here and it's funny is all I'll say. Not that GWB will change his mind or lose any sleep reading it but it made me smile a couple of times.
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TonyFish
from the realm of our dreams on 2003-03-18 05:06 [#00601591]
Points: 3349 Status: Lurker | Followup to Jarworski: #00601585
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changed your mind in which direction?
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jonesy
from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2003-03-18 05:07 [#00601593]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker
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He's not the best political analyst in the world but his heart's in the right place.
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bill_hicks
from my city is amazing it is calle on 2003-03-18 05:07 [#00601594]
Points: 4286 Status: Lurker
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It's all so fucking obvious. We all know this shit. But michael moore is writing it like he's found a cure for cancer or something. What a twat. If he wrote a straight letter, as opposed to trying to inject his "humour" into it, I might have more respect for moore (hur hur)
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Meho Krljic
from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2003-03-18 05:09 [#00601599]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to bill_hicks: #00601594
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Ahhh, you're just too bitter. But I know what you mean.
I guess it's just that we're all more or less helpless when it comes to things like this and not doing anything makes us feel bad so we do what we can even though we know it won't change a thing... That turns out pathetic more often than not.
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2003-03-18 05:23 [#00601609]
Points: 24596 Status: Regular
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Jeeez you dunce - he's not writing for us sophisticates who have our fingers on the button! He writes for the everyday plod in the street! To those people most of this IS a revelation! That's his skill! That's why StupidWhiteMen sold so well!
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Meho Krljic
from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2003-03-18 05:25 [#00601613]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict
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Yes, that's another point.
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bill_hicks
from my city is amazing it is calle on 2003-03-18 05:37 [#00601627]
Points: 4286 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #00601609
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I do realise that, fuckwit. But i don't regard the Sun or The news of the screws to be a work of literary genius because it can communicate with the hoi polloi.
The letter reads like some sixth year school pupil who's discovered politics after watching a fucking mark thomas show.
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Meho Krljic
from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2003-03-18 05:40 [#00601632]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict
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Ooooh, the anger. Come on, man, ease up. It's not changing anything and it may be pathetic, but why so bitter about it? He does what he thinks is the best and it's not like he's hurting you or me with it.
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jonesy
from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2003-03-18 05:50 [#00601648]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker | Followup to bill_hicks: #00601627
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Yes, but as Marlowe said, a lot of people's politics are at that level. Its up to intellectuals like us to put them right. And sometimes we have to bring things down to their level. Otherwise, WHOOOOOSH
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Ceri JC
from Jefferson City (United States) on 2003-03-18 05:58 [#00601665]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag
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It is true that a lot of the masses have such a basic idea of politics. It's funny, I almost forget it because most of
the people I come into contact with these das are reasonabty intelligent, yet a lot of them have very simplistic, naive views.
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-03-18 06:03 [#00601671]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular
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I think Moore would make a better president than Bush...
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Meho Krljic
from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2003-03-18 06:03 [#00601673]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict
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When the fuck did you turn into a moderator?
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jonesy
from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2003-03-18 06:06 [#00601678]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker | Followup to Ceri JC: #00601665
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What? Stuff like Palestinian suicide bombers being brainwashed by 'mad mullahs'? (J/k) :)
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jonesy
from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2003-03-18 06:08 [#00601684]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker | Followup to Key_Secret: #00601671
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I think my three year old cousin would make a more competent President than Bush.
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-03-18 06:18 [#00601700]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular
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hehe... you sure got a point. Bush doesn't fit to be a president. So why should he stay for 4 years?...
He should have been replaced as soon as someone more competent were found. That's how it should work.
Not sure if it would work as "a system" though.
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