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 Now online (1)recycle ...and 369 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614106 Today 3 Topics 127542 |
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i know this is so bad.....but it made me chuckle.....and think how i know a friend who'd say something like this! A female police officer pulled over a drunk driver She said, "You are under arrest. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The drunk replied, "Tits" |
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man of the word... |
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here is one- i don't know about translation :( man walks in to the doctor doctor asks him whats wrong, and the man reply: im haveing troubles with farting-but the thing is it does not smell at all, you see doctor, since i walked into your office i farted at least 10 times and it doesn't smell at all. the doctor reply: hmm, interesting and he perscribes medicine to a man: take this medicine and return in couple of weeks. two weeks later man returns and doctor ask him:so did it help, is any better now? man reply: no, its even worse, i still fart and now it smells like hell doctor reply:good, we cleared your nose now-lets see to the farting problem now something like that |
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HAHAHHA thats hilarious........tee hee translation worked for me....thanks for sharing =0) |
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We love you,LeCoeur! |
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heehh awwwwwww.......hey don't expect any off colour jokes on XLTRONIC.....i'm gonna be good as gold! =0) just thought i'd pass along this one as a last harrah for the MB! =0) |
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hee hee, tol, that joke totally wins the war on drugs. (i have a cold now and my nose is blocked... oh oh...) |
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hahahahahaha, good one tolstoyed... LeCoeur: you can still do jokes at xltronic, just do them in somebody else's thread so that you dont waste a thread on a joke, haha :) |
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BRAT!!! ehehheh......no going OFF topic on this THREAD......post a NOT too tasteless joke.....=0) |
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how fast can a riding lawn mower go? |
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faster than a baby |
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oh dear LeCoeur.. thats a pretty crap jokes.. and my standards aren't very high.. |
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heheh......hey....you smiled RIGHT.....thats all thats required. =0) most jokes are SILLY! |
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well, I must say the word 'tits' always amuses me.. |
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heheheh i so enjoy calling titsworth 'tits' it's just classic..... you're right....it's an amusing word.....i wonder WHO the heck came up with that?? thats not the first word i would think of to describe that part of the anatomy! ok.....where is YOUR silly joke??? hurrry before the MB closes!! |
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are you people going to be like this on your death bed. OH NO, this is my LAST time taking a dump, and the words I'm going to say next will be my LAST WORDS!! I had better make them good! I'll just be like *blip (pulls the plug on the life support for self) |
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what does cannibal say when he see a man runing: huuu, fast food |
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Is this man 1/2 owl, thereby justifying the "huuu" part? |
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perhaps, hihi |
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hahahhah i'm just memorializing this day....but it's not the DEATH bed.....cos if so i'd be like a death scene in a movie.....going on and on and on.....ahhahahah i honesty thought it was gonna go BLIP a bit ago....but until then......i'll keep taking my last GASPS of air..........=b |
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a woman pregnant with triplets walks into a bank, 5 mintuts laiter 3 robbers with guns burst in and yell,"ALRIGHT NOBODY MOVE OR WE WILL SHOOT!" just then the womans watter breaks and she goes into contractons and the robbers sayes, hey what did we tell you, and shoots her three times in the stomach, the woman is rushed to the hospital and gives birth to three healthy baby boys, the doctor sayes that the babys wernt harmed but the bullets will just pass through naturally, 14 years laiter one of the boys is going to the bathroom and a bullets pops out, so he zipps up and runs over to his mom and sayes, mom the weardest thing just happened to me, i was taking a piss and a bullet came out, then the mom explains the problem, then another boy is going to the bathroom and again a bullet comes out, then he runs to his mom and says, mom the straingest thing just happened to me, then tells her the story, then she told him what happened, laiter the last kid runs up to the mom and says, mom! the straingest thing just happened to me, and she sayes, let me guess, you were taking a piss and a bullets came out and the kid says no?, i was jacking off and i shot the dog! |
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that could be atrue story... haha |
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heh heh heh, that werse funnzy (pretend I write a super long "joke", only it has absloutely no punchline or purpose other than to waste your time reading it - so I don't have to ACTUALLY do it, that would take too much effort) |
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OUCH that joke hurt......ehehehhe ok....this is not my joke....it's B3n's it's one of those oneliners.....*waits for the groans* a man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac and says "i'll have one for me and one for the road" |
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heeheehee i should try this, and see how would bartender react |
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shit, it doesn't sound so good in my language |
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"Everybody can make a misstake" said the pedophile and helped the shocked midget up on his feet again. |
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I am soo sad this message board is closing down.... but this helps! I still cry for it shutting down...... *cries* |
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okay okay.. I'll steal one from an old thread on the forsaken Planet µ phorum.. A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac and says "i'll have one for me and one for the road" still makes me lol, that one.. |
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also good, same source..: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? answer (yelled passionately): YOU DON'T KNOW!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!! |
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hihi |
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Ok ok, a man walks into a bar and tells the bartender a joke. He says "a woman walks into a bar and tells the bartender a joke. She says "a dog walks into a bar and tells the bartender a joke. The dog says "A cow walks into a bar with a big rifle and kills the bartender""". Suddenly a cow walked into the original bar with a big gun and shot the original bartender. Everyone laughed and had a good time. The end |
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ok so this guy walks into a bar, and in the back there's a lady. and there are two signs, one says "Cheese Sandwiches $2" and the other says "Handjobs $10" so the guy walks to the back and looks her up and down. and he says are you the one giving the hand jobs? and she says yeah. and he says well then, go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich |
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"Everyone laughed and had a good time" Haha!! |
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good one sido,nyuk. wutsa tarmac? |
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hey.......no PETES or REPETE jokes.....ehheheheheh WmW you are a silly goose....*plucks your feathers* |
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I've noticed that a meme for saying "okay" before telling a joke has spread. |
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slab of asphalt.. |
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this has spread from the first person EVER to tell a joke.. |
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who was that? |
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oh I see, ...1/2 nyuk |
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hahaah nigel.....thats a GOOD one.....tee hee mmmmmmm i love cheese sammiches....plus they are so easy to MAKE!! ----- tarmac adj : covered with paving material [syn: asphalt, macadam, macadamized, tarmacadam] n 1: a paving material of tar and broken stone; mixed in a factory and shaped during paving [syn: tarmacadam] 2: a surface paved with compressed layers of broken rocks held together with tar [syn: tarmacadam, macadam] v : surface with macadam, of a road [syn: macadamize] |
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now you're repeatin' after qrter hihi |
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hey.......quit keeping track.....ehehhehe OKAY....anothah.....this is from my AIRLINE humor jokes i get from friends in ze industry! Two Americans boarded a flight out of Salt Lake City after the hockey game. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a Canadian got on and took the aisle seat. After take-off, the Canadian kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the American in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer." "No problem," said the Canadian, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the Americans picked up the Canadian's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other American said,"That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Canadian obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other American picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Canadian returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Canadian slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes, and pissing in beers?" |
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ha ha. |
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OKAY OKAY OKAY a guy walks LOL...k... a guy walks up to a bar and says ROTF i can do this.. ahem A guy walks up to the bartender LOL and says OH MAN .. ROTF!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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well, heres a dumb blonde joke A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, "I hate all the blonde jokes people say." "Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you," replies her brunette friend. So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver. "Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette. The taxi drove them and when they finally got out the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See that guy was really stupid." "No kidding," replies the blonde." There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead." |
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ah, heres a horrible joke about west virginia. How does a west virginia mother know her daughters having her period? Her sons dick tastes funny! Oh god thats horrible. |
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ohhh man i've heard a ton of blonde jokes.......but i jokes just flow in and out of my head......waaaaaaaaah |
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blonde jokes are a different level of humor. lower, but sometimes funny. |
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