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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-23 09:42 [#00281226]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/hansonblows.html
"aren't people self conscious anymore".. it's the perfect thing to say in regard to that picture. This guy's stuff is funny.
I forgot about that track mmm bop though, I remember it and liked it in the same sick way I like george michael's wham!.
mmm bop yeah yah mmm bop didalee ow um mmm bop yeaaah uh mmmm mmm bop yeah eeee yeah uh
"I want someone to write a track where every word in the lyrics are modified just enough so that they're barely still understandable."
for example the preceding paragraph would become "lye fwant chumfoon toofrite ee tarkoo weer efery worb ib fa libiks arf mardifly ... etc."
On a side note crank yankers was quite good despite the massive amount of hype that would lead me to have predicted otherwise. It was worth watching just to see the messed up version of big bird. On another side note, I am an idiot.
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weatheredstoner
from same shit babes. (United States) on 2002-06-23 09:45 [#00281230]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker
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Ya know who just dropped off the face of the universe?
Yes, thats right Hanson. And they did it so gradually too, its almost like they never existed at all.
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aron
from saskatoon (Canada) on 2002-06-23 10:07 [#00281244]
Points: 3756 Status: Lurker
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the dust brothers produced hanson's album.
i learned that the other day.
interesting fact.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-23 10:53 [#00281281]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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Talking to people is a waste of time. I tried a new chat program the other day (out of sheer mind-numbing boredom), and I was bombarded with messages from strangers wanting to chat. Okay, great. So I decided to give it a try. No matter what I'd say, they'd always answer in one or two words and/or syllables (even to open ended questions--go figure). This particular chat program allowed each user to have a profile in which they could list hobbies or interests, and some stupid quotes that govern their lives.
Of the people I talked to, 90% of them listed "I like to have fun" as one of their "interests." Who the hell doesn't like to have fun? What a stupid thing to say. "Hi, my name is dumbass. I like to have fun in my spare time. I'm too shallow to have any real hobbies or interests, so I'm going to play it safe and rattle off an array of universal traits that everyone can relate to, just in case someone suspects me of having a personality or opinion of my own." Most of the people I talked to WROTE EVERYTHING IN CAPS. What right do they have to be this stupid?
I can just see them now. Those morons, sitting at a login prompt, typing their password incorrectly, over and over, because their caps lock key is on. "Why won't it work?" They might ask. "I'm typing my password correct; I could have sworn it was abcdefg. Why isn't it working?" How can they be so inept?
Okay, new rule. First of all, if you make your password abcdefg, you will be shot. Second rule, if you don't type your password correctly in six tries, you will be shot (or shot again, if you broke the first rule). Maybe that will keep these personality deprived idiots off of computers. Any hackers out there? We need a new virus or worm to wipe out the internet. I'm tired of it.
Also, there are too many personal home pages. Too many people making web pages for their pets, too many dancing hamsters, and too many love web sites. There's just too much crap out there. We need a new policy. Advertisers need to stop making it so at
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-23 10:54 [#00281282]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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Advertisers need to stop making it so attractive for companies to give out free web pages, and people need to carefully consider the consequences of putting up another personal home page listing some stupid hobbies and interests that nobody cares about, so just in case somebody goes to the page by accident, they don't waste their time reading another boring and pointless bio about a stupid kid in high school that likes to listen to Smashing Pumpkins or Aqua. Nobody wants to read this stuff, yet people feel compelled to put their thoughts down on the internet for everyone to read. I suppose I'm guilty of this. Or maybe I have a hidden agenda. Maybe I know that reading my web page is a waste of time, and it somehow feels satisfying that I can waste my time to write this web page once, and thousands of others will waste their time reading it, thousands of times. I'm wasting more of your time than I am mine. I'm making a profit.
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Sido Dyas
from a computer on 2002-06-23 11:05 [#00281291]
Points: 8876 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #00281282
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HAHA!! i agree!! Did you write this? Keep it coming....
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wayout
from the street of crocodiles on 2002-06-23 20:31 [#00281787]
Points: 2849 Status: Lurker
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heheh...so true... when i was bored i used to get on instant messenger..and find people through the find a buddy wizard..i would pick the most flaky looking of the bunch (which wasnt hard...i probably couldve just closed my eyes and clicked names blindly) and then start messaging them with random stuff..sometimes i would actually say things..like talk about having sex with sock puppets and stuff..other times i would just write random symbols...it was quite funny sometimes...most of these stupid teeny bopper girls could think of anything better to say than A/S/L?????? i could hold conversations for hours of just me typing random things while the other person kept responding...but never saying much more than A/S/L???? ..eventually they would start getting pissed and say stuff like "IF YOU DONT TELL ME YOUR A/S/L IM GOING TO REPORT YOU!!!!!11"
its sad that these real people have the same amount of personality as the chat bots who go around selling porn...
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wayout
from the street of crocodiles on 2002-06-23 20:31 [#00281790]
Points: 2849 Status: Lurker
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revision no. 1 "could think" should be "could not think"
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Ophecks
from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-06-23 20:39 [#00281799]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Followup to w M w: #00281281 | Show recordbag
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That was an awesome post. You say lots of things that I'm thinking, but I'm too lazy/busy to bother typing out, and for this I commend you.
*tip of the hat
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-23 22:53 [#00281971]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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I did not write it, but maybe I'll take credit for it anyway. Yes it's my sight, (go to that link on the top of the page) I've laughed to the point of tears more than once. That penguin guy suggested it.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-23 22:54 [#00281976]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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wayout, you totally need to see crank yankers, what with your (and my) interest in muppet porn and all.
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Zephyr Twin
from ΔΔΔ on 2002-06-23 23:35 [#00282023]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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well said, w M w.
wayout: I used to do that same thing, except I would pick random names and then begin holding conversations with them like i thought they were someone else. For instance, once I kept asking this one girl if she had met her contact or recieved the documents for project jesus lizard, and she kept saying "IM TELLING YOU I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOUR TALKING ABOUT!" over and over, it was great.
Question: Are some people too stupid to realize when other people are bullshitting them? The people I used to mess with seemed not to....
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wayout
from the street of crocodiles on 2002-06-24 00:55 [#00282166]
Points: 2849 Status: Lurker
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m: yeah ive seen one episode of that show so far...genious..
are those real recorded prank calls? the commercials lead me to believe so...
zephyr: my friend and i did something like that once...except the other way around...we convinced some random person that we were someone they knew ...and i forget what exactly happend..but i guess we fucked up that persons relationship with someone because of our antics...sad i know..but in a funny, pitiful way...
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pachi
from yo momma (United States) on 2002-06-24 01:37 [#00282216]
Points: 8984 Status: Lurker
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they were easily mistaken for girls
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-24 08:09 [#00282565]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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listen to this guy preach! go read all his stuff, it's worth it:
Are you an executive? Do people follow you around and kiss your ass all day long? If so, then chances are that you're pretty good at bullshitting. Bullshitting is the act of putting on the appearance that you know what you're talking about. I do it, you do it, everyone does it. Executives just happen to do it very well.
Everyone at one point in their lives will work for an asshole. It's inevitable. Where do they come from? These sages of bullshit, weilding uncanny powers to deceive and exaggerate? From college of course!
Throughout grade school you may have noticed several distinct categories of people. There are always head-up-their-ass jocks, slutty cheer leaders, nerds, and drop outs. After high school, the jocks realize that they're completely worthless and decide to go to college to justify their existence. Once in college, they take all the bullshit classes like philosophy, english, accounting, and anything business related. Three years into college, they decide to get a business major, and graduate to become a manager somewhere. Rather than taking any classes in school that require more than a pulse to graduate, they take the easy route and get a BS degree in business (bullshit).
All the asshole jocks that gave you a hard time in school end up being your boss at work! To add insult to injury, they get paid ludicrous amounts of money to pretend to know what they're doing! They'll sit around with their thumbs up their asses in their huge offices, and give you absurd requests to accomplish the impossible, taking all the credit for it if it's good, and they'll still have the gall to bitch about it if it's not. They'll pick on you to feel better about themselves and they'll go home early every day. Every potential holiday is milked for all it's worth, giving them an excuse not to come in. All the while they preach bullshit about integrity in the work place and professionalism-- usually after going to a strip club for lunc
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-24 08:10 [#00282566]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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-- usually after going to a strip club for lunch.
When it comes down to results, they can bullshit like no other. Using obscure business jargon to make themselves sound intelligent during meetings. If you should catch them in one of their complex fabricated contradictions, they'll either call it a policy or deny it all together. Cowards. All of them. It's ironic how little any of them know about anything. If put into any other real-world scenario, they would die instantly. They have no skills, no natural talents. Nothing. Only the ability to bullshit and kiss ass... and sometimes that's all they need.
It truly doesn't matter what you're capable of, but who your friends are at work. How much work you do is inversely proportional to how big your salary is. The next time you're stuck at work in a stuffy office, forced to listen to some asshole rattle off meaningless bullshit, ask them this question: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Bulge your eyes and stand up for the best effect.
The room will grow quiet and everyone will look at him. He'll be directly put on the spot. He won't have anything to say. Then ask the people in the room "Does anyone really know what the hell's going on? All you people ever do is babble about meaningless bullshit and nothing ever gets done. You can't justify anything you've said, ever, and I'm not going to take this anymore." Then say "You're all full of shit. Admit it." Gradually, they'll all admit that their entire career is a sham and that they are completely worthless. Just once I'd like to hold up a sign during a meeting that says in big black letters "YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT. SIT DOWN." I can't believe how easily these bastards get away with it.. none of them know what they're talking about. NOBODY DOES. Worthless.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-24 08:14 [#00282569]
Points: 21424 Status: Lurker
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"Thath company polithy" ugh. character limitations in posts sucks, but that's aphex twin.nu's policy, heh heh. I only posted it because I know you're all too lazy to go there yourselves, not that any of you can read anyway so why did I bother. Idiots. (this guy is rubbing off on me)
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wayout
from the street of crocodiles on 2002-06-25 02:10 [#00283889]
Points: 2849 Status: Lurker
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yeah...could you try copying it phonetically next time please?
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Ctrl Alt Del
from Ft. Worth (United States) on 2002-06-25 02:50 [#00283901]
Points: 2190 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #00281971
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Thank you for giving credit.Maddox is a genios. Crank yankers is a kick ass show. This is the kind of situation when you need the "kick people in the croth" type of solution.
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