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 (nobody)...and 238 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613457 Today 3 Topics 127500 |
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time i block the toilet everymorning with a huge non flushable turtlehead id probably have about £7! absolute shit excuse for turning up late at work/college! |
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some bloke sat in the cube next to me and made a plopping noise, then he gave a chuckle and said "oops". It's the funniest thing I've heard all year! I love it when people do that! |
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that's funny! it made me laugh. |
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LOL....Very funny.... |
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PLOP! Heh... |
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I remember being at a left wing event in London a few years back. I was in a cubicle and the guy next to me shouted over: "Have you got any bog paper there comrade?". It was the use of comrade that tickled me. I hate it when they do that, it makes me cringe. |
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I was standing at a urinal in Bristol and this massive bloke came and started peeing in the one next to me... I was shitting myself coz he looked proper crazy then suddenly... a bit of his splash back landed on my bottom lip and on my eyelid.... I daren't do anything about it until he left the room.... Christ that was gross!!!! :( |
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THAT one, I didn't have to know :) |
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I was in the toilets in Ipswich train station last summer and went to take a pice of toilet paper from one of the dispensers in the cubicle when some shit came out on my hand. Somebody had obviously smeared it for their own amusement. Nice. |
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It was probably someone famous' Shit knowing your Celebrity Magnet skills...;).. |
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I believe Rick Whitter from Shed Seven had recently passed through Ipswich so maybe... |
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i was forced to eat dog shit by a bully when i was little. this kid had some in some newspaper-that wasnt too nice. he smeared it on my face as well. boy id like to know where he's at these days-no doubt it'd be one of those scenarios whereby he's become all weak and puny...and vunerable. |
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Did this shit smell like roses? |
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...erm no it smelt like dog shit. my friend if youre faeces smells of roses, you need to seek a faecal doctor. or somehow build upon this fact/skill of yours and become famous-but i cant see a huge gap in any market for floral flavoured faeces.... |
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He's probably in prison Ken. Take comfort from the fact that he's the 'bitch' of his floor and recieves a vigorous buggering at every shower-time. |
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Chri5py: Don't tell such funny stuff... I'm in the library now and people are watching me, and are probably wondering what the hell my problem is. =D |
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u fool it would make u rich! what better to put on a flowerbed that poo that already has a flowery odour. in 20 years people would do away with the flowers and just use the poo...people would have vases of po in thier house....men would give their g/fs poo on valentines day...clowns would say 'smell my poo' then shove it in yr face...although poo gardens might piss the bees off. |
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Haha. You guys are the best... can't stop laugh |
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Gents would wear a little nodule of poo in their lapels for special occasions |
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Would poo with peanuts cost extra? |
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...and in pizza hut, gone would be the little round mints you get at the end of the meal to get rid of the garlic breath, little 'tagnuts' wiould be the thing to pop into yourpalnet. man this thread is shit GEDDIT 'SHIT'!!! HUH HUH huh. |
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i meant palette |
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and naturally, youd hang one of supremes turd in your car, to give it that 'mountain glade-lemon fresh' ziing.. |
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Why does some shit float while other shit sinks? |
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gone are the days people use listerine to gargle with, when runny poop is so readily available....no more are clay pots,when poop works so well...and lets not think about the sextoys industry |
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bob thats a shit idea...GEDDIT?? A SHIT IDEA!! WAAHHHEY! |
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Ken: sounds like the razor-sharp wit of your colleagues is rubbing off. Shame you're leaving. |
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Every morning when I do a nice relaxing poo, I allways shout downstairs 'Finished!...' and wait for my mum or sister..... |
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when i finish, i usually stay in there and have a little nap or sing a song, just to annoy the family |
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guess what they called me this morning jonesy? A FUDGEPACKER!!! oh if i had a penny for each time they called me that id have £300269696.32 |
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oh, and apparently just discovered that my leaving present (i leave this friday) has been purchased from ann summers. oh im looking forward to that. that will be funny. |
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Good to see the human capacity for imagination and originality can flourish so widely. |
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its going to a gimp mask isnt it? fuck. i was genuinely hoping for some waterstones vouchers. |
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sorry man..... but dont you just hate it when you napalm the bowl, just trying to tease it out then BOOM!!! Not so white anymore and you gotta sit in the sink coz yer arse is on fire..... Sunday mornings are great :) |
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doesnt sound like it mate!! |
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Hey KEN did you say you are leaving your company this Friday? What is this to mean. Are you going to be off the internet for a while??? That is sad. But I feel more sorry for your colleagues. Who are they going to call turd burgular from now on???? Think of the poor dears. |
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