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 (nobody)...and 398 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613455 Today 1 Topics 127500 |
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What's up EDM masters? I'm not the romantic type (I'm sure it's obvious to you) and am looking for good ideas for first dates. Must cost less than $50 per person. |
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you should show this person some of your xltronic posts, explain the motivation behind them, and read out the responses in funny voices |
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Agreed, round up all of the knee-slappers and cute gems that you emit and give them to somebody who'll really appreciate them, and they might let you sob yourself to sleep in their house |
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Jots it down |
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Buy some DXM and then overdose on it. This will bring maximum excitment that gets girls wet. You could also drive around in a poor neighbourhood and pretend you are having problems with your car.. |
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you know, this may explain why you have so much trouble getting laid.... |
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e up the ass |
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romantic boat ride |
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How to get laid on the first date: You tell the girl that you're gonna take her to an MMA fight, cuz she loves that shit cuz you met her at the gym. And then you sit in your bomb ass front row seats, cuz you have season tickets and shit cuz you're so MMA crazy. Then the main event is delayed and everyone's like, "What's going on? Where's the other fighter?" This is where you act dumb to the girl and be like, "Oh shit! I was having such a good time with you that I forgot I was headlining this shiznitz." So then you fly over the top of the cage into the octagon, still wearing your pressed shirt. You don't even take off your cardigan, you're so badass. Anyway, fight is fucking in slow motion for you cuz you've been training at least 4 hours a day martial arts since elementary school, so you just bob and weave and tire the guy. Then fucking BAM! you knee uppercut the dude and break his jaw and whole face, and while he's flying in the air back all arched and shit, you look at your date and point at her like, "This one's for you, babe.", then you jump up and slam his chest into the ground open fisted and do the Bruce Lee "WAAAAAAAA~~~~!" and fucking shatter his sternum into his heart, killing him instantly. The crowd goes fucking nutz. The guy couldn't even touch you for 2 rounds, and you kill the fucker at first attempt at even touching him. You invite your date to the octagon side for a victory hug and invite her to the locker room (MMA champs can invite girls in the locker room). You then undress in front of her to shower, revealing your extremely rippling body from 20+ years of calisthenics and martial arts, which immediately makes her almost cum. After that, you take her to get a chili burger with fries in your white 1990 Lamborghini Countach, playing the Miami Vice theme on the ride there. At your penthouse apartment that you designed yourself, you just tell her, "Gosh, you're so fucking hot..." *LAID* |
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rohypnol |
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Look dashing. Be a famous yet delectably underground artist. Pretend to listen and show interest as often as possible. You have connections. Smile with the eyes. Surprise her. Ask her questions to show you're interested. Smile with the eyes. Tell her you might be gay* but you're unsure. You so sensitive yet far from being a wimp. Without it being too obvious, let her notice how cultured you are and always have an opinion, be it regarding cute animals or neutrinos. Make her feel pretty. You can quote Byron but also explain why you don't like him. If she's not interested in you, stand up and tell her that she's shit and that you're champagne. *not 100% sure about that one. |
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I love that last bit about shit and champagne. Mind if I edit and use it? I was thinking like "you're meth and I'm Molly, you lice infested Kate Middleton wannabe" |
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holy shit, reading that i feel like *i* just got laid... amazing. |
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I agree. You're talented jnasato :) |
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Thanks for reading, dooodz. Your mileage may vary, but I was just writing what worked for me. |
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Actually- your mileage will not vary. This works. DO iiIiIiiIIIIT!!!!! Good luck, monoid, etc. |
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Asking for dating tips on XLT is like asking for sex tips from a Nun. |
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More like asking for sex tips from Catholic alter boys :P |
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I think it is also helpful if you know how to fake empathy. Also, if you believe your own lies success is almost guranteed. |
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You could get together and poop. It'd be a good way to practice intimacy. You could poop on eachother's faces for example. |
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i'm not German but your idea has been logged and reported |
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