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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 07:51 [#02414337]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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I read something interesting recently, that people are only partly responsible for other peoples emotions.
That means if you articulate one of your needs, and the other person gets 'angry' you are not 'making' them angry, but just trigger certain kinds of emotions, but it is up to the other person how she emotionally reacts.
Now, what do you think about this? I also ask myself if it is than possible, to choose to fall in love with someone or to choose not to..
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robbie_eleckt
from time to time on 2011-05-21 08:24 [#02414341]
Points: 1401 Status: Lurker
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let me think
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Portnoy
on 2011-05-21 09:50 [#02414348]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular
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that sounds about right, "partly responsible". We're certainly not wholly responisble. It is up to either party to act suitably. You just realised this after reading that?
As for the falling in love thing...I don't think you can choose to be attracted to someone....especially when you're head over heals, you have no control man...
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Portnoy
on 2011-05-21 09:54 [#02414349]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular
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then again you can choose to pursue/indulge or ignore that feeling....not always very easy though...
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 10:12 [#02414350]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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I sometimes thought 'what did i say to make this person angry?'. Especially when i was younger i was kinda confused about the reactions of some people.
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Portnoy
on 2011-05-21 10:27 [#02414351]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular
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Yes.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 10:52 [#02414353]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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But do we have control or not? Is it possible to mentally control feelings or even let them vanish? And is that always healthy?
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2011-05-21 11:55 [#02414354]
Points: 7841 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #02414353 | Show recordbag
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i dont believe you can just "decide" to not be affected by stuff, but, if you learn well (by experience, reflection and changed behaviour) chances are you wont be triggered by certain events or persons and you may be getting on top of a lot of emotions.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 13:09 [#02414355]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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So, what does that mean when you interact with other people? How far can you go and tell yourself that it is not your fault if the other person acts pissed off or sad?
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2011-05-21 13:42 [#02414356]
Points: 7841 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #02414355 | Show recordbag
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ask the person. no way this can be generalized and its natural to do faults, so just accept that you do wrongs too.
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2011-05-21 13:52 [#02414357]
Points: 7841 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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this feels so basic, but mostly everyone forgets these simple things every once in a while :)
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Raz0rBlade_uk
on 2011-05-21 13:55 [#02414358]
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love is the involuntary response to virtue
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-05-21 14:03 [#02414359]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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read something about this: cognitive behaviour
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robbie_eleckt
from time to time on 2011-05-21 15:31 [#02414368]
Points: 1401 Status: Lurker
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it roughly depends on the percentage of brain humans use
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 18:13 [#02414383]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to -crazone: #02414359
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Yeah, cognitive behaviour therapy is what my former therapist suggested to me, after 2 years of conventional psychotherapy.
But we always had something to laugh.
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-05-21 18:30 [#02414385]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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you can have a good laugh from CBT too....even better.
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IJO
on 2011-05-21 18:49 [#02414386]
Points: 86 Status: Lurker
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We all choose how to react to certain situations, and sure indeed if someone's getting angry on you it's 100% his thing, you have nothing to do with this. U can control things like anger, sadnes etc by just choosing how to be, what to experience. Let everything go and love the existence :)
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 18:54 [#02414387]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to -crazone: #02414385
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Yes, i am scared but neverthless it is laughable
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-05-21 22:23 [#02414397]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02414387 | Show recordbag
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what are you afraid of?
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 22:44 [#02414398]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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Nothing really. I feel pretty comfortable
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-05-21 22:47 [#02414399]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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nice..how come?
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 22:52 [#02414400]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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I changed my 'inner team'
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-05-21 23:09 [#02414402]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02414400 | Show recordbag
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great! congs on that.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-21 23:18 [#02414403]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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Now i am going to kill a hooker. thanks guys.
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-05-23 22:18 [#02414527]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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You are autistic, Mon.
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horsefactory
from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2011-05-23 23:03 [#02414532]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular
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i feel like eating marshmallows
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-05-23 23:39 [#02414534]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Followup to horsefactory: #02414532 | Show recordbag
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emotions like donuts and marshmallows
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Use
from Miami,Fl-Northern WI (United States) on 2011-05-24 02:29 [#02414543]
Points: 175 Status: Lurker
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i'm asburgers, my shit is pretty fucked but the quieter and more preconceived I am internally helps.
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robbie_eleckt
from time to time on 2011-05-24 19:00 [#02414574]
Points: 1401 Status: Lurker
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i feel like eating now as well
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-05-24 19:32 [#02414575]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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I don't like to walk on 'emotional eggshells' but around many people i fear to act more naturally, because they might get pissed off or whatever.
Now, i even suspect that some (!) people, intentionally place these eggshells for other people to walk in.
All in all that borders on manipulation and emotional slavery.
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Portnoy
on 2011-05-24 19:55 [#02414577]
Points: 1491 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02414575
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some people are touchier or more sensitive than others. As you get to know people better, you learn what they're like.
the whole intentionally placing eggshells thing, be careful you don't think that when it's not there.
I'm saying this shit but I'm no fucking expert. I can be very tactless.
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welt
on 2011-05-25 02:11 [#02414596]
Points: 2036 Status: Lurker
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today i shared an s-bahn carriage with a group of mentally retarded children. they were about 10 children and 3 care workers. one retarded girl was in a bad mood, because her right hand hurt (because she fell from her bunk-bed last night, i gathered). the others were all in good spirits, drooling and discussing lemonade, mobile phones, sperm and masturbation. they showed no signs of feeling awkward, inhibited or depressed whatsoever. .... so maybe brain-damage is a serious candidate for overcoming emotional problems.
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paige__turner
from Sultan City (Barbados) on 2011-05-25 02:49 [#02414598]
Points: 203 Status: Regular
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Are the eggshells that they walk on the same as the ones they throw at people's houses,?
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