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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-08 01:25 [#02403451]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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Like many men, I have trouble talking to girls I ain't never met before. This came to a tee recently, after I had done a little shopping at Asda.
Whilst walking toward the bus stop in the dark at about 7pm a few days ago, I saw a couple of girls, pretty cute, early 20s, walking in the same direction as me. And, as I often do, I felt very intimidated by them at first, cos they were strangers and cute, so I stayed clear of them.
I walked to the bus stop and stood eating a doughnut, waiting for the bus. The girls went into the bus shelter, but at the time I thought they'd think me weird to sit in the bus shelter, when I could sit outside. In retrospect, it would not have been weird. Anyway, when I was standing near the bench next to the bus shelter, eating my second doughnut, I thought 'hey, why don't I offer the girls a doughnut'? I thought about this for about 15 mins, which is how long it took for the bus to arrive. By this time, I had thought of a plan to say 'hey, excuse me, I have a problem. 5 doughnuts and only one of me! Would you like to help me out and have a doughnut?' Of course, I still wasn't sure about this and by this time, the bus had arrived, so it was too late.
I told a female friend this story and she laughed. Then she said what I had planned to say may have been very creepy, perhaps leading the girls to believe I had laced the doughnuts with rohypnol. I would have done, but like I say, I only had 15 mins before the bus came. My friend suggested that I open with 'I know this sounds creepy, but I have 5 doughnuts and I am not gonna eat them all. Would you like one?' Which, reading this now does look very innocuous and innocent.
A male friend (Yes, I have TWO friends!) overheard the conversation and said he would have placed the doughnuts on the floor and said 'OMG, looka that, doughnuts!' then asked the girls if they wanted one. I found this hilarious.
So, what would YOU have done in this situation?
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chassis
from the bottom of a pint glass (Heard and McDonald Islands) on 2011-01-08 01:28 [#02403452]
Points: 309 Status: Lurker
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Ate the doughnuts. But if I was full Id offer her one.
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-08 01:35 [#02403454]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to chassis: #02403452 | Show recordbag
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I had two and I felt full of sickliness. They were custard ones. 24p for 5!
I did think afterwards that it was a bad idea to eat the doughnuts to help me think of a plan to ask the girls if they wanted a doughnuts, cos by the time I had constructed the plan, I felt sick. And I thought at the time that it would have been best to eat one when I offered them one, cos then it would look like they were not dodgy or anything.
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chassis
from the bottom of a pint glass (Heard and McDonald Islands) on 2011-01-08 01:49 [#02403455]
Points: 309 Status: Lurker
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She wouldn't have wanted one if they were custard. Yuk.
As far as Im concerned, the bus stop is not the place to meet people. She needs to in the mood to take, at a bus stop is a no no. In the pub or some sort of social event is where to meet people.
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welt
on 2011-01-08 02:16 [#02403456]
Points: 2036 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tractern: #02403451
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just being honest works surprisingly well when wanting to talk to girls.
for instance i once saw a girl [a standardly attractive blonde] whose teeth i liked, so i told her that i liked here teeth and whether i could touch them. she let me touch them. .. it might not have lead to very much more, but she didn't think i was a creep and was amused at least.
however, that was in the past when i still felt like an okay person. nowadays, if i'd stand at a bus stop next to cute girls i'd probably think about "wanting to suffer in order to repent for my sins" or something like that.
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Indeksical
from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-08 02:17 [#02403457]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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I would have said nothing, come home and then cut myself until i could feel the knife scraping against bone.
Then I'd have a wank while wearing stockings and suspenders and singing 'La Javaniase'.
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Indeksical
from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-08 02:19 [#02403458]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to welt: #02403456 | Show recordbag
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I think meeting new people takes a stronger toll on your mental state the older you get. That's why people get married.
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jnasato
from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2011-01-08 03:22 [#02403459]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to Indeksical: #02403457 | Show recordbag
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You will become more hardcore if you cut yourself and fuck the resulting slit.
Tractern I would just eat the donuts, but if/when I made eye contact, I would offer with a smile and, "Um- would you like a donut?", just straight up. After the 1~2 seconds of immediate-pondering-silence is when I would put in any, "Yah- I sort of feel sick and am prolly gonna toss these", etc. If I was seen eating donuts for an extended period, then the girls would understand that I was offering to share. If the girls did not see me eat for an extended period, then the offer would shock and cause suspicion.
Then after they invite you over to their flat, you lick custard from their erect pink nipples.
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larn
from PLANET E (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-08 05:06 [#02403463]
Points: 5473 Status: Regular | Followup to jnasato: #02403459 | Show recordbag
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that is probably the coolest and most desired outcome, the worst one would be like this: you wait until eye contact is made, then say: er hey girls i have some doughnuts here....er do you want me to give you one? a silent pause while they both look blankly with unamused faces ... if not i am going to toss it! then you accidently hold the bag too tight and squirt the custard over their skirts while nervously panting and shaking, at the same moment the bus slowly pulls up to the stop with everyone observing from the windows.
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Anus_Presley
on 2011-01-08 08:51 [#02403465]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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It's OK unless they say no, then you look like like a tosserr and have to stand therre with them forr anotherr 15 minutes.
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Taxidermist
from Black Grass on 2011-01-08 09:25 [#02403468]
Points: 9958 Status: Lurker | Followup to larn: #02403463
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That made me laugh harder than anything I have read in a while.
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taking_the_piz
on 2011-01-08 10:36 [#02403475]
Points: 795 Status: Lurker
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learn to apply the 3 seconds rule: if you need more than 3 seconds to act, DON'T (because you will creep them out, no matter how good your story).
If you stay within the 3 seconds, the story doesn't really matter anyways. It's all body language in that timespan.
Obvious right?
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freqy
on 2011-01-08 11:00 [#02403478]
Points: 18724 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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eat all doughnuts then tell them you run out of dounuts and that would they mind buying you some more doughnuts and a cup of coffee. they'd respect that and you get more sweet doughnuts,. : P
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dariusgriffin
from cool on 2011-01-08 12:31 [#02403482]
Points: 12394 Status: Regular
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My friend suggested that I open with 'I know this sounds creepy, but I have 5 doughnuts and I am not gonna eat them all. Would you like one?' Which, reading this now does look very innocuous and innocent.
It's the creepiest thing you could say bro.
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dariusgriffin
from cool on 2011-01-08 12:32 [#02403483]
Points: 12394 Status: Regular
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If you think offering donuts is creepy you're probably a creep anyway.
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Taxidermist
from Black Grass on 2011-01-08 14:16 [#02403489]
Points: 9958 Status: Lurker
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Doughnuts are not a good icebreaker.
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Guybrush
from the white room on 2011-01-08 14:42 [#02403491]
Points: 2556 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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nyum nyum nyum
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gingaling
from Scamworth (Burkina Faso) on 2011-01-08 14:42 [#02403492]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tractern: #02403451
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what is wrong with you?!?
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-08 14:47 [#02403493]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to gingaling: #02403492 | Show recordbag
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Doughnuts.
And I am not as cool as you. :) I shoulda got a ring doughnut, stuck my wanger through it and wiggled it toward them until they sucked it, right?
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-08 14:47 [#02403494]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to Taxidermist: #02403489 | Show recordbag
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Yeah, guess you're right. :(
But what is Taxi, WHAT IS?
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2011-01-08 14:56 [#02403496]
Points: 7841 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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first light an open fire somewhere, over it place some meat on a stick. watch them flock to to you...
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jnasato
from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2011-01-08 15:18 [#02403498]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to Guybrush: #02403491 | Show recordbag
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Awkwardness when the bus arrives.
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gingaling
from Scamworth (Burkina Faso) on 2011-01-08 16:18 [#02403503]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tractern: #02403493
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sorry mang, didnt mean to be harsh.
doin that is a bit much... i like the 3 second rule suggested. thats good. next time you u have the inspiration to summit like that just doin. even try doin it to not so hot chicks and with out even the motive of talking to them afterwards.
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Guybrush
from the white room on 2011-01-08 16:24 [#02403504]
Points: 2556 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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HALLO DO U WONT A DONUT LOL!?!
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dariusgriffin
from cool on 2011-01-08 16:50 [#02403506]
Points: 12394 Status: Regular | Followup to Guybrush: #02403504
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jesus
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jnasato
from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2011-01-08 17:23 [#02403511]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to Guybrush: #02403504 | Show recordbag
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Ahahaha...
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gingaling
from Scamworth (Burkina Faso) on 2011-01-08 19:37 [#02403512]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker | Followup to Guybrush: #02403504
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hahahahaha yes
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-09 04:50 [#02403542]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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Funny game and is maybe based on me, but I lose the misogynist game every time! :(
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hedphukkerr
from mathbotton (United States) on 2011-01-09 20:37 [#02403568]
Points: 8833 Status: Regular | Followup to gingaling: #02403503
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i agree with the three second rule too.
standing next to someone for fifteen minutes and then starting up a conversation with no provocation is always going to be creepy, no matter the gender.
it's all about confidence and acting like you're not totally intimidated to be talking to these super hot girls who you really have no business talking to because you're an unkempt tosser on unemployment and spends most of his days on the internet.
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-10 12:30 [#02403600]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to hedphukkerr: #02403568 | Show recordbag
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haha, true. Confidence is important. I girl smiled at me yesterday, I think we are in love now. :)
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-10 12:30 [#02403601]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to hedphukkerr: #02403568 | Show recordbag
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Also, was that a little transference going on with the unkempt unemployed tosser bit? ;)
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hedphukkerr
from mathbotton (United States) on 2011-01-10 16:44 [#02403606]
Points: 8833 Status: Regular | Followup to Tractern: #02403601
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a year ago maybe, but i now have a gf you loves me for the unkempt tosser i am :)
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gingaling
from Scamworth (Burkina Faso) on 2011-01-10 17:11 [#02403610]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker | Followup to hedphukkerr: #02403606
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pah! a year ago maybe...
a year ago deffo and you found a good chick who likes unkempt dossers and now your uppin your game so that she'll stick around more like. either way, win.
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hedphukkerr
from mathbotton (United States) on 2011-01-10 17:23 [#02403616]
Points: 8833 Status: Regular | Followup to gingaling: #02403610
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well, technically a year ago i still had my job :P
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-10 17:30 [#02403619]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to hedphukkerr: #02403606 | Show recordbag
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Ah, that'll be me one day.
gf and job aren't the only things I want in life, but I guess with these things, nothing else seems to matter perhaps. Is it true, at times, nothing seems to matter when you got your regular income and a loving lady?
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hedphukkerr
from mathbotton (United States) on 2011-01-10 17:38 [#02403622]
Points: 8833 Status: Regular | Followup to Tractern: #02403619
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my unemployment cheques been shrinking :/ and i have never had a job with regular, sufficient income. i've eaten lots of mac n cheese.
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Taxidermist
from Black Grass on 2011-01-10 18:55 [#02403626]
Points: 9958 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tractern: #02403494
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You know, a better icebreaker would have probably been if they knew when the next bus was going by. However, the bus stop is not a good place to meet girls anyway.
And anyone who tells you to be yourself is full of shit. Some people are just naturally better at talking to members of the opposite sex, those people just need to act like themselves. Everyone else has to make an effort of it.
I think its more important to not second guess yourself. Don't get too disappointed if something you say doesn't work, as statistically, the odds of compatibility are stacked against you in the first place; its the same for everyone else.
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-10 22:51 [#02403648]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to hedphukkerr: #02403622 | Show recordbag
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Cos you have destroyed my dream and your life doesn't sound too pleasant; empathetic :( + *hugs* = man bonding.
Although I have had a few jobs with regular income. ;)
But things will change for you and I my, friend. You'll get the job you need and I the girlfriend, at which point we'll take over the world! :O
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-01-10 23:45 [#02403651]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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I was wondering how ugly are you ( no offence) because this has a big influence on the outcome of your question. Also: did you wear earplugs?
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-01-10 23:48 [#02403653]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #02403465 | Show recordbag
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welkom back btw
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yoyoyoyoyo
from Sweden on 2011-01-11 12:51 [#02403688]
Points: 778 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tractern: #02403648
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put a dounut on your dick and show it to the girls and say
hey girls you want some donuts?
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-11 16:32 [#02403704]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to -crazone: #02403651 | Show recordbag
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No earplugs, no ugly.
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hedphukkerr
from mathbotton (United States) on 2011-01-11 16:58 [#02403706]
Points: 8833 Status: Regular | Followup to Tractern: #02403648
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xlt manlove ftw
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larn
from PLANET E (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-11 17:00 [#02403707]
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i'm surprised you haven't met more chicks at Uni *_* are there not many girls on your course?
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-01-11 22:21 [#02403723]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Followup to Tractern: #02403704 | Show recordbag
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than I would have offered the doughnuts! Good luck next time..
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-12 01:57 [#02403733]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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I spoke to a girl about this issue and she said a lot of girls are very conscious about their weight, so maybe they would have rejected the offer of doughnuts on that basis.
Then again, she also said she would have said yes if it was a cookie with chocolate chips in it...
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-01-12 10:55 [#02403736]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Followup to Tractern: #02403733 | Show recordbag
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congs on the 4000th post..
also a good question: were the girls heavy weight fat?
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-12 11:39 [#02403738]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Followup to -crazone: #02403736 | Show recordbag
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Thanks, I didn't even realise until you said. :)
And no, the girls were not heavy weight fat! :D
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Tractern
from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2011-01-14 11:19 [#02403888]
Points: 4210 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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Last time I was at the very same Asda was last Wednesday. And someone gave me their number! I was just standing at the bus stop (IN the bus shelter this time) and someone started chatting to me, we sat next to each other on the bus, and they gave me their number before I got off!
His name was Peter.
True story.
:(
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-crazone
from smashing acid over and over on 2011-01-14 12:20 [#02403890]
Points: 11233 Status: Regular | Followup to Tractern: #02403888 | Show recordbag
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lol!
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