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 Now online (3)big dariusgriffin recycle ...and 68 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Chapter One. The Tea Time Sippers once said nothing could ruin such an elegant victorian moment. Not even that man with a horses head. Sure his spinal cord was as flexible as a snakes, and he took pleasure demonstrating this by dancing and throat chanting before the tea sippers, but nothing could disturb such a lovely tea time. They still sipped at their piping hot teas with a perpetual smile that could never be deviated, or so it would seem. "One lump or two" spoke one of them through their clenched teeth, tense jawed smile. "Two, that would be lovely" replied the other. The horse man put on a red evening gown, and joined them both for a scone. Horeshead's gown began to develop a stain! One of the Tea Sippers found this to be a very rude and vile thing to do at the table, and said maniacally "Well I never..." in a most british manner. Shortly after the delectible afternoon pastries were consumed, Professor Rutfix Manshape came down from the library ladder with a few books. These books contained the knowledge of everything, for you see, the professor is really a godlike surveyor of all consciousness in the universe. |
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i'm not going to read this. i just want to be honest with you. but hey, good memories all around. ok, fuck it, i read it. |
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Yay! |
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There once was a burger king named Jumanji who had a fistful of chinese babies and one day Jumanji decided he would want to make a motorcycle out of the babies so he made one and rode it around his kingdom of burgers while the babies squealed in utter contentment. Then he decided that the motorcycle was the result of a midlife crisis so he got out of it, disgusted with himself, and started breakdancing while weeping. Everyone who watched his tragic breakdancing wept with him as well and all the chinese babies held hands and began singing Song For The Asking by Simon and Garfunkel. Then Jumanji peed into his own mouth and went back to his castle where he painted faces onto everything he owned. The End. |
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I hope the professor reveals to the tea sippers that they all have horse heads hidden under their human masks, the evil, animalistic, pagan driving force of all life. And it's way more fun letting it out. |
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Chapter Two Professor Rutfix Manshape clumsily fell and accidentally tossed the books on the floor by little miss Window Head’s feet. She was far too arcane to read so she kicked the books down a ledge. Her job wasn’t to read, that was Dai Lyn’s, her alter ego. As far as Windowhead was concerned, she was nothing more than a paradox designed for some meaning. The books fell, they fell for a long time, down what could only be described as an enormous Helix. Once they hit the bottom, a Sucking God inhaled them with great pleasure, and contorted it’s face in every emotion these books conveyed in mere seconds, it was a delicious meal. The Sucking God wanted more but had no comprehension of the word ‘more’, you see she can’t speak anymore, the blackhole took care of that, so it responded with a rather pithy suction sound. Back above, Dai Lyn jumped off a tree flipping around gaily, nearly losing her fox mask! If that were to shatter, there would be trouble ahead with Horsehead. She made it down safely and walked past WIndowhead, and gave a mournful second to look into her eyes and say “I’m so sorry..”. She continued onward and waved to Professor Rutfix Manshape (a name she gave him when they first met), he smiled atop a long library ladder and then began to cry. |
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I just ate an orange. |
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Chapter Three Dai Lyn ran up a stack of books like a squrrel to the Professor to see what could ever be the matter. The Professor said "If I were to lose all these books, I would cease to exist my dear Dai Lyn. I've already lost a few when Windowhead kicked them down the helix ledge. I felt like a small part of me just went missing. That awful Sucking God! She absorbs the fabric of everything, physically, then mentally, then spiritually. Every fabric of our being could be absorbed into the Underverse!" He calmed himself, and began to climb down the ladder to find a certain book containing an era of extreme manners. The Tea Sippers, completely ignoring everything around them, stood up and bowed to one another. Their faces began to moph downwards, until their eyes were where their cheeks were, their noses covered by skin, their mouths stretching open. A black mist began to flow between their mouths. Horsehead ripped off his evening gown and ran towards Dai Lyn, who flipped off the books and jumped down towards Windohead, staring straight into one of the windows on her head. She entered her paradox to transport back to Abrahnom, her dream reality, the most lush and verdant planet ever to orbit her subconscious. Horsehead, now completely to himself, leaned against a tree of epic proportions and began to mould into it, giving off grotesque grunts. Windowhead closed the Helix Hole with her green aura bubbles, and the Sucking God gave off extremely loud suction sounds. The Professor wiped off a bead of sweat dripping down his ancient cheek as the hole finally closed. He took the book he was currently reading, 'Victorian Etiquette', and put it back on the shelf. The Tea Time Sippers began to absorb eachother, forming into one malformed being, and slowly began to dissipate into nothingness. |
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You just make all this stuff up. :o( Professor Rutfix Manshape is awesome! Why do all great things have to malform and dissipate into nothingness? Surely there will be future visits to crazy, upside-down worlds to come. . . I hope. |
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