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 (nobody)...and 381 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614081 Today 1 Topics 127542 |
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-Stalactite- Face the mirror, Strike your face with flint. You’re in the glass forest; Watch crystal trees twitch in fog. Infinite concrete tunnels spit, Saliva drowns you and your animals. Rub his skin on stone, Incise your eyes on rock. Smash the glass branch, Eat it quickly. Bacteria eats flint vomits ice Ice cuts face cuts body. Your tongue smiles. Your tongue smiles. Wrapped around glass; He likes the blood. He slithers out of mouth. Throw concrete, Aim for the tongue. Rock penetrates the snake, It’s in segments now. Four snakes suck on blood. Four tongues spit shards of blood. Dead animals hanging in chains spit Glass stuck in skin slices fever. Blood stained reflection smiles, Blood trickling down mirror, It smothers your face in red. You look disgusting. Grab a branch. Decorate face in crystal. Stab his face with crystal. He falls into the hole. He falls into black. Face emerges, Squeezed out of concrete tunnels. Crystal spikes convulse, Wet with saliva. Body in segments slice icy tongues. |
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Needs more rats. |
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what the moral of this story? |
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Hm. You're right. |
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doesn't seem to flow - where's the metre and continuity? some nice imagery and prose, but seems a bit unpolished.... |
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"Grab a branch. Decorate face in crystal. Stab his face with crystal." That gave me a good laugh. I like it a lot. |
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afx |
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"your tongue smiles" is that like the taco tongue? |
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Still need to try and get that cd ordered R.L. *needs more cowbell |
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out this poem. The 2nd stanza should be moved the bottom. Maybe you can add a part about a taco as I think they are really rather tasty. But my likes burrito supremes better. (Oops I added a . after mama) |
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Heheh. Well, don't take these ramblings as a reflection of my music. There's samples on myspace in case you didn't know that already... |
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Well you're no Jonathan Coish. I WAS ARF ARF ARF!! |
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Trapped in a body that refuses to speak, but speaks when spoken to with only a greet. Trapped in a body that rots without caution, but purchases things at the collectibles auction. Trapped in a body that strides all around, but sees nothing more than only the ground. Trapped in a body that knows that it's trapped, but the reason for this is the mind seperated and snapped. |
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Very good! Beautiful. |
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get on msn so we can cyber |
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bingbang buckaroo, by optimus prime wingjammer hammer going to gogo go, get up to the monkeybar if you're slow. push the old gentleman into the snow. gogo go to the gigolo ho, take my pajama and let me know. meltiest chewbacca in the land, land ho. gogo go to the gigolo ho, know slow snow, gogo gigolo go. |
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My poem: supercollide, fly, free-fall, confide. one metric tonne on cranium lies, one mile plunge; surprise, surprise! I just dropped a piano on you. |
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kinda reminds me of kool keith. |
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Is that good or bad? I've never heard of this "Kool Keith" character. He's a rapper, I suspect? |
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I could google it in 2ms but it's just so much more fun engaging in conversation! |
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you've probably heard of dr. octagon. if not, get the album. |
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doesn't ring a bell, will certainly check it out though. |
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