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The Vagina Dentata of Doom
 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 15:55 [#02077767]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker



This is beautiful and hilarious prose, a fucked up
interpretation of doom 2:

doom

This is great reading too, for the game nethack:

NetHack: A History and Analysis


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2007-04-30 15:59 [#02077768]
Points: 24588 Status: Lurker



I'll take your word for it, mr w


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 16:16 [#02077773]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker



Those are the wrong links anyway; just go to
www.everything2.com and use the search for doom and nethack
if interested which nobody is.


 

offline sneakattack on 2007-04-30 16:23 [#02077778]
Points: 6049 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #02077767



fixed doom 2 link


 

offline uzim on 2007-04-30 16:36 [#02077784]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker



"Doom bathes and is bathed in sex, from the sated groans
and cries of dying soldiers and dying creatures, to the
gentle, substantial thud of mortally-wounded demons falling
to the floor, to the organic, ejaculatory sound of flesh
rupturing into the oblivion of an explosion."

"Fluid plays a major part in Doom's gameplay, each monster
producing large quantities of it during death, whilst other
fluids harm the player. That none of these fluids are
obviously seminal is telling; although very few fluids in
real life have the texture and consistency of semen, Doom is
a game that denies reality, set as it is in a fantasy world.
The presence of blue water seems jarring in the midst of
hellish insanity, and thus the absence of semen was quite
obviously a conscious decision on the part of the programmes
for censorship reasons, the same reason for the lack of
visible genitalia on the obviously naked monsters (although,
having said that, as the monsters seem optimised for combat
it is entirely possible that their genitals are hidden, like
the Dolphin or the Zebra)."

"Doom is a dirty game, dirty dirty girl. Like so many
pleasurable things - sex, prolonged defecation, eating,
mummification, Mork and Mindy - Doom is tacky and shameful,
but knowing with it."




this is absolutely amazing.w M w, you're one of my greatest
Heroes of the Internet.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 16:43 [#02077788]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker | Followup to sneakattack: #02077778



I don't think that information will run on my primitive
brain hardware. I need information to be dumbed down so I
can have the illusion of being smart (on top of the illusion
that I exist). Anyway here are excerpts of the thing I meant
to link to:

Actually it doesn't seem that interesting now but maybe I
can waste someone's time reading it:

Doom is also a powerfully erotic game, notwithstanding the
numbing of the physical self. It is mentally erotic,
capturing the release of control at the height of orgasm,
the constant stimulation of eternal deathmaking. Doom bathes
and is bathed in sex, from the sated groans and cries of
dying soldiers and dying creatures, to the gentle,
substantial thud of mortally-wounded demons falling to the
floor, to the organic, ejaculatory sound of flesh rupturing
into the oblivion of an explosion. Doom captures the
eroticism of the slaughterhouse. Many people have fantasies
of being killed, of killing oneself, whilst at the height of
orgasm, or of killing a partner during sex. Many people
achieve release by killing animals, in order to experience
the release and relaxation of the death orgasm. Doom's
killing acts act as constant stimulation, the unremitting
intensity of nightmare mode creating a sensation similar to
that of greatly extended masturbation; a mixture of hopeless
anxiety, horror and release, the sexual organs requiring
greater and greater stimulation to achieve a dread orgasm of
painful intensity.

Doom is a male space. The player is invariably male, for
obvious reasons. Of the monsters, only the comical
Cacodemons seem obviously female, their ungainly, ill-formed
gaseous nature and leering, slavering mouths characteristic
of the female species. The other creatures are powerfully
muscular or obviously male, and Doom's erotic power stems
from the unrestrained physicality epitomised by violent
homosexual intercourse. Men are not easily capable of
multiple, satisfying orgasms, each one lesser than the last,
and thus homosexual sex must be extraordinarily intense i


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 16:49 [#02077792]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker | Followup to uzim: #02077784



It might be better if it was an interpretation of sesame
street, but all well. Thanks to the time that passed while
our attention was occupied on this fascinating internet
development, we thankfully have less time to live.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 16:59 [#02077797]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker



That would be awesome if the cyberdemons did have big peni
though, and maybe when halfway dead the next shot would blow
it off in an explicit gory animation (maybe then he'd become
pissed and twice as difficult). or maybe when you open a
door you see a cyberdemon humping a cacodemon before they
both start attacking.


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 17:03 [#02077799]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to w M w: #02077797 | Show recordbag



fan fiction.


 

offline The_Shark on 2007-04-30 17:06 [#02077800]
Points: 292 Status: Addict | Followup to w M w: #02077767



There's more likelihood of you gnawing your own penis off
than getting the foetid thing near enough a gash "with
teeth".


 

offline uzim on 2007-04-30 17:09 [#02077801]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #02077797



"or maybe when you open a door you see a cyberdemon
humping a cacodemon before they both start attacking"


> in Silent Hill 2, you actually get to see two
monsters having sex with each other. or maybe one raping the
other.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 17:11 [#02077802]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker | Followup to The_Shark: #02077800



Tell me something I don't know.

"I have beaten the legend of Zelda without getting a sword.
(Technically, I only got to Ganon, since it is impossible to
beat him
without a sword)"

holy crap, I never thought of trying this.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 17:18 [#02077803]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker



I need to play original doom 2 on nightmare; maybe hell
revealed made me better. I like how every finger has a key
thus making control a very honable skill (and make most of
the keyboards I used make a beeping noise as maybe more than
3 simultaneous keys weren't allowed)


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 17:30 [#02077807]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to w M w: #02077803 | Show recordbag



for you, my love.

(may load ebay advert first)


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 17:50 [#02077814]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker | Followup to Indeksical: #02077807



I didn't know that place existed.


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2007-04-30 17:54 [#02077816]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to w M w: #02077814 | Show recordbag



It's wonderful. I enjoy the Saved By The Bell stories
where Zack and Slater give in to their forbidben love.


 

offline The_Shark on 2007-04-30 18:02 [#02077820]
Points: 292 Status: Addict



Say goodbye to wMw for six months as he immerses himself in
previously unimaginable masturbation scenarios.


 

offline ambsace from canaDUH. on 2007-05-01 13:09 [#02078022]
Points: 6326 Status: Lurker | Followup to Indeksical: #02077816



:O





exxxcellent.


 

offline i_x_ten from arsemuncher on 2007-05-01 15:25 [#02078075]
Points: 10031 Status: Regular



Nice to see you, i_x_ten.


 


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