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let's say you're paranoid, and everyone in the world are telling you that you're paranoid and it's not real. how do you go about proving to yourself that it is not real? what if it feels like forces of an unknown nature are manipulating you into thinking the way they want you to think, and you have some sense of awareness of it, but it feels like this awareness is simply given to you by 'them.' how can someone be born into this universe, and not be paranoid? is paranoia a gift of the very few selected to push the boundaries of reality? maybe 99% of the population is only there as some sort of scenery, a kind of apparel.. and the paranoid people are the ones digging into this uncomprehensible reality.. people are always exploring the universe and their own psyche, and we've created a pretty good 'map' of how things work as we see them, but does this explain 'why' 'how'? no we put the why away, because it's so distant, it happened trillions of years ago, and it seems untouchable.. maybe we are just organic waste, idling on an ancient planet in an even more ancient universe.. maybe we are the ancient ones.. in a few billion years some race will explore our desolated planet and find our remains, will we leave a good impression? why do we care so much about petty things like our hairdo and our televisions, why do we not realize the amazing place that we live in.. sure we can look at the stars, or the sunsets, or the mountains or the lake in the early morning, but is that all there is? where has all the magic gone? will technology kill magic or will it create it? is it just a state of mind anyway? i feel like i'm always close, but never fully satisfying it.. this need for something.. something i cant explain but i know what it is.. it's there in front of my eyes 24/7 yet i am blind to it.. i think most people are.. their minds and senses become numbed to it.. the universe that is.. we create a conditioned and filtered version, nearly magicless.. i want my magic back and i want it |
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.. now. |
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gay |
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what bothers me most is how transcient the mind can be. I have a hard time finding enjoyment (magic) in life, scenery, people. Some people have no trouble at all. I'd like to be content, sometimes I think the best thing to do is sell off all my posessions and try a nomadic lifestyle, maybe in new zealand or india or some other country with interesting and unique terrain to what I'm used to. Maybe I can find that here too. I honestly don't know. |
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gwely; im not sure what it means, but children especially have a very active imagination and things seem bigger and for some reason they don't think much about how things work. a common consensus is that as you grow older and more mature you lose some of the child inside you, and things become more about daily living and since you have seen the world so much you tend to filter out anything but the "extreme." i think people still are very capable of "being children", especially with media and entertainment we can grasp things in our imagination that are hard to find in the real world, but it's more like an escape than an /actual/ experience. so i had this idea that what if you could fall asleep one day, not really realizing that you are asleep, and then in one single dream all your unconscious ALL of it would just bombard your dream and you'd live through everything that you could possibly imagine.. cause in reality everything that you know about reality and everything you have created is all in your mind, there is nothing else. i think after having such an experience then waking up one would truly start to use ones brain and imagination the way its capable of. |
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That would be amazing. I put alot of value on my dreams. It's what I love most about being alive. |
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yeah.. but its like.. i feel like i get bits and pieces, hints maybe to what my mind is thinking about, but they are never as vivid as the real world, except in dreams.. i feel like i want to lose all sanity, and just experience my mind in a completely real and vivid form. i don't even want to see reality except to build up new stimuli and memories from them. when the mind and the world are one, when there is no mental or physical barrier or limit between the two, that's when you fully experience the mind AND the world. somehow, you'd be a stimuli sponge.. you'd just exist as some kind of unconscious entity, with nothing but his mind. or i dunno, still trying to put it to words. |
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stop smoking dope? |
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just the opposite, or better yet drop some acid or shrooms. |
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its very frustrating because i am afraid. i have thought about drugs, but i am afraid i might enter something that i cant get out of. i feel like if i do the perfect drug, then i will have the perfect experience. but i am afraid because i might go on a journey where there is no turning back. once i leave, will i ever come back? and do i want to come back? my body and my mind is holding me back, because of anxiety and fear, but i am afraid i will grow old then regret never taking the final step, then die. but then again maybe death is what the solution is, maybe it will all become clear after death. |
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I used to have that ideology, but ever since a bad trip I've come to realize that it's not so easy. Theres a huge barrier which won't permit to go any further. As disturbing as it sounds, this barrier is screaming faces, loud voices, and endless black holes of terror and anxiety. |
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well i cant accept that. i can't accept that i am given so many hints everyday, to this 'hidden dimension' (please dont kill me) and that there is no way to go into it. i can look at the stars, feel awe, feel powerless and small, feel like im in an amazing place, but i feel there is so much more underneath, so much more that i'm not experiencing. it's this barrier called the real world. you know it just itches and bumps into you all the time. but at the same time reality is all that exists, everything i have ever imagined is the physical reality. reality in itself is what it is, its my perception of it that makes it special to me. all of those memories and all of those processes that makes me feel and think about reality in my own way. i feel like my brain is working at 1% activity, like my brain should be thinking about /everything/ at the same time. oh god i guess i could go on forever atm, i should go to bed.. maybe ill have a dream.. |
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cx, I've been using drugs to experience exactly what you are talking about, and for me personally, it's not a good method. When I was a child, art and life were things of endless excitement; every new corner, every new piece of music, every game or film was a potential new world to get lost in. Now I've lost that, and drugs do help while you're in that frame of mind, but it's all a bit hopeless because when you're back to sober rock-bottom, what is there? I'm learning to approach every experience more as I did when I was a child, and it's really helping. Getting fucked is the easy option, and it hasn't worked for me personally. (sorry if all of the above is bullshit, my keyboard is currently swimming in front of me) :-) |
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CS2x, thanks so much for your reply! i have never done any drugs of significant mention, and it kind of breaks my heart to hear what you're telling me. i always thought if i got desperate and my mind didn't 'evolve' to do it on its own, then i would just bite the apple and swallow the pill. but it seems like no matter what you do there will always be some sense of sanity, some sense of awareness, and this awareness kind of ruins it. i am a big opposer of lucid dreaming, after i saw waking life. the whole point of a dream is to not know you are dreaming, thus you experience it like the real world. if you knew you were in some kind of 'the matrix' then that matrix would be fake compared to the real world. so far i dont think our reality is fake, but you never know. if you could get lost in a dream without awareness of your experience, what would happen i guess? |
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lawlz |
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if you want to experience your mind in its real form, i suggest trying . drugs are good if you want to experience what it might be like to have your fingertips mapped to your visual cortex, or your ability to identify objects temporarily disabled.. but reality is much more potent when you stop to observe it. |
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way too thoughest for me. |
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this life, world, system, existence-whatever you wanna call it- is incalculably more powerful and abstract than one could ever concieve of. the truest knowledge is silent and immutable, and will wait around forever for a chance. everything that ever enters the mind that gives you a description of life, no matter how concrete it may seem; however collective the knowledge is --is able to be fucked with--which would seem to make the hardest things that much more sweet and edifying to have your ways with. *shrug* just thought this might tickle cx |
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let's say you're paranoid, and everyone in the world are telling you that you're paranoid and it's not real. how do you go about proving to yourself that it is not real? Personally I'd say the need to prove your not paranoid is (or rather, could be) paranoid in itself. If a non-paranoid person would be called paranoid, he could either be bothered, or not. If he would be bothered that'd be a waste of energy, so if I were that non-paranoid person I wouldn't bother anyways. But before you conclude I'm talking rubbish again, read the following. You could say I simplified the situation way too much. And that's where you're probably right. But that is what I think is the 'trick' of the so-called non-paranoid people. By (over)simplifying the complex they cut away that which would cause them to be seen as paranoid. It probably sounds fake, but please bare with me. If I understand your problem, I think you should find a way to, maintain the magic you recognize in the world and to learn to communicate that magic in a way people won't think your paranoid. That would probably be something like still enjoying all the complexity you could possibly desire, while at the same time communicating about it by 'over-simplifying'. Personally, I just write my own 'complex' ideas in a journal. That way I can still express them, without bothering the people around me. But what's more important, by writing down those ideas you get better at expressing them, and therefore at communicating them. At least, for as far as the rational part goes. There's also the dimension of bodylanguage (intonation, gestures, etc), which is 70% of the message you get across. Essentially, I think it comes down to communication. A non-paranoid person who's seen as a paranoid is just not communicating in the right way. So, for as far as I'm actually onto something here, you'd probably have to ask yourself what aspects of your message make others assume you're paranoid. Either that, or stop bothering at all. |
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when life loses its charm you have to charm life |
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look for woody allen quotes and relax, just coz you're paranoid it doesn't mean you are always wrong. |
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what a load of wank. just skip to the last paragraph |
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paranoia fucking sucks. I wish I could concentrate on having a good life instead of warrying about the reason of existence. |
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i thought it was good |
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chaosmachine; amazing article.. i'm not sure meditation is the way for me though. goDel: being paranoid is a matter of the brain making connections that other people would say aren't there. well both paranoid and non paranoid people make assumptions (paranoia is a matter of degree in people anyway) but it's worth mentioning that no piece of information is really pure physicality. as Feld said.. i have never felt this profound feeling before, that something is entirely wrong. most people call sanity the act of fitting in with society, being productive, finding success and loved ones, then you die having lived a 'fulfilled' life. we are lucky on the internet to find a lot of people who actually think about themselves and the universe, there aren't all that many people around when you get down to it. many people think they do it, but it ends up a shallow and nearly wrong philosophy. it feels like humanity has gone through nearly every possible outlook on life, every possible stone turned to find their own perfect lifestyle and outlook, but has anyone really found 'the ultimate truth?' does such a thing even exist? as always i say the path to anything is knowledge. knowledge is more like a net, a net of associations where things matter in the context they are put in in the mind, the problem is verifying that knowledge, because some of it carries weight right away while some doesn't. seemingly unimportant pieces of information is quickly forgotten because we didn't put it in the right context, then later on we lose the perspective because of this missing piece. the key then obviously is to somehow absorb everything, which is impossible. thus you end up with a pov that is never quite there. the key then to me is to find value in what you have, while being open to new information. being able to absorb the present as it is is also a matter of knowledge, a mindset is knowledge.. finding your path in life and in the present is also knowledge.. |
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btw im typing all this here cause i dont have anywhere else to.. and it feels good to type, gives clarity. |
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it's actually a it's worth your time to try it out. what i learned from it has changed my life in a lot of ways. |
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hm |
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See, writing away all that 'shit' (not in a harsh way) feels good. It cleans the mind. Perhaps you should read Brad Blenton's "Radical Honesty". It hasn't got much to do with paranoia, but it focusses on all the shit the brain makes you think is real. When in fact it isn't. The brain produces a lot of rubbish. And this book shows you in what way (from a more psychoanalytical point of view). And thanks horsey! |
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chaosmachine hm.. the first page was really fascinating.. i recognized myself in a lot of it but i don't know if i have the patience for meditation. i will read the chapters on the actual practices though and see what i think of it.. goDel; that sounds extremely interesting.. i'll keep that on the list. |
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Snippet from amazon: We all lie like hell all the time. This is the secret to our success. I wrote Radical Honesty after learning from my clients, based on twenty-five years of the private practice of psychotherapy, that distinguishing between noticing and thinking, or knowing the difference between identifying oneself as one's thoughts versus identifying one's self as the being in the moment, is possible when one tells the truth. Knowing the difference between ideas about reality and reality itself is the key to enlightenment. Therefore, Radical Honesty is the first step on the road to enlightenment. |
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I'm going to order a copy of that book. |
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It's a very confronting book. It makes you realise you lie to yourself more than you can imagine. An essential realisation if you ask me. Enjoy |
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