 |
|
You are not logged in! F.A.Q Log in Register |
 |
|
 |
 Now online (1)big ...and 633 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
 |
Members 8025Messages 2614123 Today 2 Topics 127542 |
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
awesome |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
looks like mace: the dark age |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
lovely |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
what game is that? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
soul calibur 3. it has a create a player mode |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris will be the first black pope. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
When kids go to sleep they check if there's a monster under their bed. When a monster goes to sleep it checks if there's Chuck Norris under its bed. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i just popped wood |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris did her |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
hahahaha serious LOL |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
this is a global disease |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Fuck was That?" Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris." Too late, asshole. God I don't know why this shit is so funny to me. I'm not even high |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. this one is in the top 10. there are 611 facts about chuck norris on the "official" polish website. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives. Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist. (ok i'll stop) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
don't stop. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris can taste lies. The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on. Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die. There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting. If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you. Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter. When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help. TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion. Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours. There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer. Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
you got the fucking sock full of bees. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
..but it's polish version :F |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
awesome, just put some EQ on the voice and you're all set! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Natalie Portman's real name is Natalie Norris. She changed to "Portman" after visiting watmm. Chuck accepted her decision for obvious reasons. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
Messageboard index
|
|||||||||
