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king kong
 

offline cygnus from nowhere and everyplace on 2005-12-06 19:00 [#01795085]
Points: 11920 Status: Regular



Yes, Kong is a pussy. They have disgraced the movie by
leaving Kong devoid of the primal rage we have come to
expect. What people don’t realize is how aggressive
primates can be. We see the "cute", smart, little chimps on
TV making silly faces. In reality, these chimpanzees are
capable of extreme aggression. An adult male chimp has the
upper body strength of roughly 4x that of an adult male
human. During my research, I once witnessed a chimp attack
one of our guides. He jumped up placing his feet in the
chest of the victim. He then grabbed the native’s arms and
proceeded to propel himself away from the body with his
feet. He completely ripped the arms out of the sockets and
began to beat the decimated torso to death with them. Have
you ever seen the fear on a man’s face when his limbs are
ripped off? This quickly put the remaining troop in a
hysterical frenzy. We had to tranquilize 7 chimps in order
to save our lives.
You can imagine how much worse the situation can be when you
are involving adult male silverback gorillas. They have
truly neutered Kong in this remake. It is a disgrace to
nature and a disgrace to storytelling.

In a related not, I managed to keep one of the rabid chimps
from my story. I have him out back in my shed (chained up of
course). Sometimes when I have a bad day at work I come home
and play with him. This usually involves about a case of
Pabst and a rubber hose. Sometimes I even use my tazer if
he’s particularly spry. On Halloween I shave him down and
paint him up like Darth Maul. People think it’s a small
child until it attacks them with canines bearing. It’s
quite a sight indeed.



 

offline Drunken Mastah from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2005-12-06 19:01 [#01795086]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



he's not a primate, he's just special!


 

offline Dannn_ from United Kingdom on 2005-12-06 19:24 [#01795094]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker



They should have thought of that for Differnt Strokes
instead of trying to keep Gary Coleman small


 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2005-12-06 19:44 [#01795101]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker | Followup to cygnus: #01795085



so you, cygnus, have actually witnessed that or are you just
quoting from someone else?

Its not that I don't believe a chimp could do that, its just
that actually witnessing those events is a rare occasion.


 

offline scup_bucket from bloated exploding piss pockets on 2005-12-06 20:02 [#01795122]
Points: 4540 Status: Regular



I wouldn't really be impressed if king kong ripped some guys
arms off in the movie...unless he stuck them up his nose


 


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