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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:02 [#01757087]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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i was gonna post the opening see hwat people though but i figured id ask if any one was interested first?
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-10-21 17:03 [#01757090]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator
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is there sexiness in the book you're writting?
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Aesthetics
from the IDM Kiosk on 2005-10-21 17:03 [#01757091]
Points: 6796 Status: Lurker
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I'm not interested, good luck though.
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corrupted-girl
on 2005-10-21 17:04 [#01757092]
Points: 8469 Status: Regular
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i'd like to see
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Dozer
on 2005-10-21 17:04 [#01757093]
Points: 1234 Status: Regular | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757087
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What is it about?
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:04 [#01757094]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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no sex no :P
and cheers for teh well wishes Aesthetics :D
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:06 [#01757096]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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dunno how to describe what its about, its about fate i guess
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010101
from Vancouver (Canada) on 2005-10-21 17:06 [#01757097]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular
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I'll read it, I may even draw some illustrations for it....
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2005-10-21 17:07 [#01757098]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757094
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| Attached picture |
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K300i
from United Kingdom on 2005-10-21 17:07 [#01757101]
Points: 670 Status: Regular | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757096
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sure.link ?
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:09 [#01757103]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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ill find somewhere to post it would be too disjointed here
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2005-10-21 17:09 [#01757106]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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maybe you should learn how to spell "writing" before writing a book?
hihihihi
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horsefactory
from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-10-21 17:10 [#01757109]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular
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post it
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:15 [#01757119]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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im so gonna get the hell ripped out of me lol but fuck it
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dog_belch
from Netherlands, The on 2005-10-21 17:15 [#01757121]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag
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Ask messageboard users about what you should write about. Say things like "I've just started this book, but I don't really know what to write about". Make observations about people not talking on trains.
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2005-10-21 17:17 [#01757124]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01757098
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classic.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:24 [#01757134]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to dog_belch: #01757121
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I really don't feel like posting this because i can just see the barage of witicisms you will splay accross the page with your inillectual yet down to earth critique of how the things i find interesting, or like to comment on, are infact null and void to you're ineffible view.
in other words you will rip the piss out of me and i shall feel stupid as usual!
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horsefactory
from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2005-10-21 17:26 [#01757139]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular
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great thread, then
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:26 [#01757141]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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Fuck it
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Oddioblender
from Fort Worth, TX (United States) on 2005-10-21 17:29 [#01757145]
Points: 9601 Status: Lurker
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i've tried to start two books, they're not going anywhere though. i'm far superior at poetry than i am at prose.
by the way, i like what i'm reading here. i'll have a more in-depth opinion once i've made some progress on my geology research paper.
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2005-10-21 17:42 [#01757156]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular
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it's good enough that you should at least keep writing it.
in other words, it's too short for me to decide if it sucks.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:44 [#01757158]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to evolume: #01757156
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lol thanks, i think ¿
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i_x_ten
from arsemuncher on 2005-10-21 17:47 [#01757162]
Points: 10031 Status: Regular
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taff, we've had words before lol you can't use lol as a substitute for a full stop lol bear this in mind when writing a book lol
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:48 [#01757163]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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i see now lol's lol ine the paragraphs there lol
lol
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2005-10-21 17:48 [#01757164]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757141 | Show recordbag
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can you somehow change that page so that there isn't white text on black background? that's pure fuckery for my head...
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:50 [#01757165]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #01757164
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haha i was thinking it was a bight "brisk". Also bare in mind Phaite is a temporary name which sucks much i dont know what to call him.
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2005-10-21 17:53 [#01757167]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757165 | Show recordbag
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yeah, I'm serious.. white-ish text on black background isn't good.. especially not for people with migraines.
I'm reading the text, but I've copy/pasted it to notepad.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 17:54 [#01757168]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #01757167
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white backgrounds do my head in, i find them to bright.
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2005-10-21 17:56 [#01757171]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757165
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i was gonna say that i didn't like the name phaite but i didn't want to tell you how to write your own book.
but yeah i think you should only name him phaite if you write into the book that his parents were beatniks or trekkies or something.
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2005-10-21 17:58 [#01757172]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757168 | Show recordbag
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yeah, but you can do some in-between thing.. like black text on a blue or red or green or whatever background... off-white.. eggshell, salmon, purple, cyanide, yellow, pink, brown, grey... lalalal.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 18:01 [#01757175]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #01757172
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i only just set up the page in like 5 seconds.
evolume: i was thinking of Pheaton maybe as his surname
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2005-10-21 18:19 [#01757191]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757175
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I feel like, if you want your audience to feel some connection to this guy, he ought to have a pretty average or semi-common name. or a good reason for having a wierd uncommon name. otherwise it's like he's from the distant future or from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 18:22 [#01757192]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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Yes but hes VERY important Dylan Phaeton. His nick name is Phaet who about that?
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2005-10-21 18:28 [#01757197]
Points: 21454 Status: Regular
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There are some cool ideas such as trying to see what's between each frame of vision. "phaite" is ok, doesn't really matter, obviously a play on 'fate'. But it's too obvious the character was made out of thin air. (The depth of his/her character practically stops at his name.) That's not a critisism of the rest of the story though; the character just seems unnecessary. You can still write about the matrix-esque ideas without that phaite dude trampling around in them. And instead of simply referring to him as "him"/"he", "phaite" is constantly used. I say eliminate the character entirely. He takes a complete backdrop to the ideas. Or... do whatever the hell you want. Yeah, I like that second idea much better. *reply*
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2005-10-21 18:39 [#01757200]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757192
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can't be that important.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 18:44 [#01757205]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #01757197
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I agree at first he is VERY souless, but he will become more human if not a little cold. Remeber there are some hints "he waited impatiently for existence to arrive.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2005-10-21 18:46 [#01757208]
Points: 21454 Status: Regular | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757205
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Yeah, given I only read part 1, who am I to say. Please ignore me.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 18:53 [#01757209]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to w M w: #01757208
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your input was appreciated :D but i kind of have the bare bones now i need to build the meat up.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-21 19:27 [#01757224]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker
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im going to put parts up as i go along. If anyone feels like leaving comments on suggestions or mistakes i might not have noticed please feel free. I've never written anything on this scale before, im not claiming it will be good, or will work out, but i am actually trying to do something creative and have fun with it.
Cheers
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Xeron
from London (United Kingdom) on 2005-10-22 06:18 [#01757438]
Points: 2638 Status: Regular | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757224
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'Id like to read your story, infact me and a friend have been writing a parody of The Lord of the Rings (comidic slant). Perhaps we could talk about on msn, anyway good luck I'll post my opinions once I've read it.:)
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staz
on 2005-10-22 07:44 [#01757510]
Points: 9844 Status: Regular
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Here is the start of my book:
Richard was a big man. Some might even have referred to him as a giant. That didn't bother Richard, though. Not one bit.
Tom was of smaller stature. He made it up for it, though, through a mentality that swerved steadily from "fookin mental" to "lush and chilled".
Richard and Tom were good friends. Sometimes, they would invent catchphrases together, like: "Come on you cunts, let's have some Toilet Cleaner!" and several ones about them being "the daddy".
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Anus_Presley
on 2005-10-22 07:51 [#01757518]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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Phaite stood at the train station, scuffing his worn trainers against the chewing gum splattered pavement as he waited impatiently for existence to arrive.
My firrst thoughts: Oh no!
I didn't rread everrything, but what I saw was betterr than I expected. But what did I expect? Something says you won't be able to drrag this 'storry' about fate out verry farr. You should go back to the drrawing boarrd forr yourr books sake and maybe think of a strrongerr frrame to build yourr ideas arround.
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hanal
from k_maty only (United Kingdom) on 2005-10-22 07:53 [#01757521]
Points: 13379 Status: Lurker | Followup to staz: #01757510 | Show recordbag
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i need more
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staz
on 2005-10-22 08:17 [#01757535]
Points: 9844 Status: Regular | Followup to hanal: #01757521
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A followup will be posted at my leisure. Right now I'm busy REMIXING!
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hanal
from k_maty only (United Kingdom) on 2005-10-22 08:20 [#01757539]
Points: 13379 Status: Lurker | Followup to staz: #01757535 | Show recordbag
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if youve got time to post youve got time to finish the story by fcuk
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manicminer
from Paris (France) on 2005-10-22 10:28 [#01757615]
Points: 1423 Status: Lurker | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757087
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I think you'll find it's called temporal LOBE epilepsy. I suffer from it myself.
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manicminer
from Paris (France) on 2005-10-22 10:40 [#01757621]
Points: 1423 Status: Lurker | Followup to Taffmonster: #01757087
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Also, I think your description of seizure triggers is a little bit suspect. As far as I know, temporal lobe epilespy is not triggered by "memories". My seizures occur entirely at random if I fail to take my medication.
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Taffmonster
from dog_belch (Japan) on 2005-10-22 15:55 [#01757910]
Points: 6196 Status: Lurker | Followup to manicminer: #01757621
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sorry i dindt know the name was that (changes name). My friend Kim suffers from it, supposedly its different for different people, for her its a certain memory that she cant obviously remember because everytime she does she has a siezure. at least thats how she described it to me. She said that sometimes when shes concentrating on certain things and then lets her mind wander she will trigger a seizure. Obviously these explantions have been in the odd conversation ive not in depth knowledge of it. Do you know more where i could maybe read some specifics about it? ill be honest its not a HUGE part of the story but its is significant.
Anus_Presley: I dont think the plot is quite as obvious as it would seem the intro is hinting at thier but obviously we shall see hehe.
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Raz0rBlade_uk
on 2005-10-22 16:32 [#01757930]
Points: 12540 Status: Addict | Show recordbag
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books are for reading
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