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 (nobody)...and 450 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614128 Today 7 Topics 127542 |
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an electron walks into a bar and asks for a beer bartender takes one good look at the electron and says 'hey, you're an electron!' the electron acknowledges, and asks, 'how much for the beer?' 'for you?' says the bartender, 'no charge' |
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ahahah excellent |
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What does a rasta say when he has no more weed to smoke ? "What the fuck is this crappy music ?" |
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two fish in a tank one fish says to the other "ill drive, you shoot" |
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3 blondes are walking through the woods when they come across some tracks. One of them says "They're rabbit tracks", the other replies "No, their badger tracks!", finally the last one says "With my superior intellect I can tell you they're bear tracks." Anyway they carry on walking. 3 seconds later they're run over by a train. |
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Humanistic message included: Two deaf monkeys are sitting on a branch. One of them says: "Fuck you!". "No, you fuck you" says the other. |
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native american beats world record drinking 400 cups of tea outside his wigwam. next day hes found dead in his teepee |
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a nun is sat in the bath having a wash when she hears a knock at the door. she askes who it is "its the blind man, i need to come in" the nun see no harms and becons him in when he walks in the blind man says "great tits love" and then continues o fix the blinds |
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what's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? you can't get the bowling balls out with a pitchfork. |
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whats the difference between a rock and a dead baby? you cant fuck a rock! |
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George Bush |
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what's better than nailing a dead baby to the wall/fence? tearing/ripping it off. |
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oh wait, braindance said, "w". winner! |
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Is there a dead baby joke generator somewhere? |
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I bet you could get bowling balls our with a pitchfork. |
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"goorgle" |
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A proton walks into a bar. He says "Give me a beer, I'm a proton" The barman says "Are you sure you're a proton?" The proton says "I'm positive" |
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What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? One makes your whole day the other makes your hole weak. How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin. |
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i didn't get the last one. explain, please. |
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two dead baby jokes constitute a dead baby joke generator!?! hahaha... no. what's the difference between a pizza and a baby? the pizza doesn't scream when you cook it in the oven. |
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So, uh, is cygnus' joke funny because he told it wrong? |
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what do you call it when there are 5 or more black people hanging in a tree? mississippi windchime |
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a dyslexic man walks into a bra. |
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go fuck yourself. |
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how did i tell my joke wrong |
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whats the second worst part about fucking a dead baby? feeling its pelvic bone snap and splattering blood everywhere. whats the worst part? getting the blood off your clown suit. |
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Well as he's a redneck his sister is probably sucking him off. |
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can we end it with the dead baby jokes - they arent exactly jokes |
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whats worse than finding 100 dead babies in a garbage can? finding 1 dead baby in 100 garbage cans. |
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thats terrifying |
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This biker has a date with his new girlfriend at her parents house. On the way there, it was getting cloudy and he remembered an old trick his dad taught him when he was young. His father said to him "boy, whenever it starts raining, it can rust your motorcycle, just rub some vaseline over the chrome and that'll prevent it for sure." When the biker got to his girlfriends, the table was already set and they all got seated for a big feast. One thing that got to the biker (lets call him John) was the house rules, no talking at the dinner table. First one to speak has to do the dishes. This really got to John, as he liked to talk about motorcycles and whatnot 24/7. 10 minutes passed and things started getting awkward for John. He started kissing (and i mean face plant kissing) his gf to get a reaction, a single word from the parents. nothing... So John unbuttoned her blouse and started playing with her tits. Still no responce. So he put her over the table and started fucking her. Still nothing! "hmmm" he thought, as he went over to the mother and did the same. Nothing still!! He looked out the window and saw that it had started raining. "Oh no!" he thought, as he took a container of vaseline out of his pocket. The father jumped up and said "Fine! I'll do the fucking dishes!" |
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hahahahahahaha! That's fucking classic! |
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"weeee!" /quote> |
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i dont get it |
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how do you stop a bunch of black guys from raping a white girl. throw them a basketball from full metal jacket |
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GUY1: "Hey you know that elementary school by my place?" GUY2: "yeah" GUY1: "Well, yesterday I saved this little girl from getting raped." GUY2: "seriously?!" GUY1: "yeah... I changed my mind." |
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ah ha ha ha, clown suit... wtf... that joke is weird funny. |
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This proton one gets respect if you just made that up to counter the electron one off the top of your head. |
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Re: ecnadniarb:"George Bush" (Stupid hippy voice) "Yeah man! Smash the system!" Anyway, Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? A: One was the first man to walk on the moon, and the other f***s little boys. Q: What do Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common? A: Both get turned on by kids!!! Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning? A: He ate a nine year old wiener! Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common? A: They both have small boys pants at half off! Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year old boyfriends? A: Because there are twenty of them! Q: How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. Michael Jackson only screws little boys! Q: What's soft and brown and sometimes found in little boy's diapers? A: Michael Jackson's hand! Q: Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet? A: Emily Dick in son. Q: How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party? A: By all the Big Wheels in his driveway. Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"? A: Two 5 year olds. Q: What's black and white and comes in little cans? A: Michael Jackson. Q: Why does Michael Jackson scream when he touches his nuts? A: He's sore from the kids last night. Q: How do we know Michael is guilty? A: Several children have fingered him. Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 boy scouts when it hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captain announced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!" Michael asked, "What about the children?" The captain replied, "F*ck the children!" Michael looked around eagerly and asked "Do we have time?" |
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i'm so using some of these to make friends at my new job! |
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