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virginpusher
from County Clare on 2005-08-11 16:38 [#01692296]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker
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[ Qrter enters the police precinct with ophecks right behind him ]
Qrter: What have we got, tolstoyed?
tolstoyed: Well, we searched his place, Qrter. There was no sign of the money, or the girl.
Qrter: [ walks over ] Come on, ecnadniarb - don't be stupid all your life. You tell me where
the girl is, and maybe the DA can cut a deal.
ecnadniarb: What are you talking about, Qrter? I was out all evening.
Qrter: With who?
ecnadniarb: Your wife. I finally got to the head of the line! [ laughs ]
Qrter: Take a walk, tolstoyed. ophecks and I don't want to be disturbed. [ tolstoyed exits
the room ]
ophecks: I don't believe that guy's story for one second, Qrter! Why don't you call your
wife and check it out?
Qrter: Just listen, ophecks.. this guy is a tough SOB, but I think we can crack him. What do
you say we try the old "Good Cop, Bad Cop" routine?
ophecks: [ amazed, and anxious to see it work ]
Qrter: Look, ecnadniarb.. I understand your butt is on the block. If it was up to me, I'd
cut you loose. But my partner here, he's got a bad temper, a real bad temper. Right,
ophecks?
ophecks: I agree, Qrter! [ smiles wildly ]
Qrter: Now, the truth, I don't know how long I can hold him off.
ecnadniarb: [ looks ophecks over ] I'll take my chances.
Qrter: I did what I could, ophecks. He doesn't want to talk to us.
ophecks: [ starts to sob ] Oh, no, that's, that's terrible.. now, we won't ever find the
girl! And we won't get our vacation, either! And it's so sad.. because my mother wanted to
go to Tampa in Auguest! I should have..
Qrter: [ pulls Lawrence aside ] What the hell are you doing?!
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virginpusher
from County Clare on 2005-08-11 16:39 [#01692298]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker
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ophecks: It doesn't seem to be working, Qrter! Why don't you try being the sad cop?
Qrter: What?!
ophecks: You know - Good Cop, Sad Cop.
Qrter: Bad Cop! Bad Cop! B-A-D!
ophecks: Oh, great start spelling, like I'm not embarrassed enough?
Qrter: Just remember - good cop.. bad cop. [ returns to ecnadniarb ] Now, look, ecnadniarb,
this guy is on the edge of some serious bone-breaking. Just lucky for you he's doing a slow
burn. Now, for the last time, where's the girl?
ecnadniarb: Turning tricks, With your mother. [ laughs ]
Qrter: [ to Lawrence ] Take him!
ophecks: Now, look.. [ holds up his hands, which are handcuffed together ] I accidentally
handcuffed myself, Qrter! [ to ecnadniarb ] I guess I'm a real bad cop, huh, ecnadniarb? I
think you should just tell me where the girl is, because I'm such a bad cop..!
Qrter: [ pulls ophecks aside ] What's the matter with you?!
ophecks: I'm doing what you told me - good cop, bad cop!
Qrter: Not bad like incompetent! Bad like in vicious! Mean!
ophecks: Ahh..
Qrter: Good Cop.. Bad Cop!
ophecks: Alright, Qrter, then!
Qrter: [ returns to ecnadniarb ] I'm warning you, ecnadniarb - this guy is so crazed, he
doesn't know what he's doing!
ecnadniarb: Yeah, tell it to my lawyer - he's making it with your sister! [ laughs ]
Qrter: [ laughs back ] Okay, ecnadniarb, you asked for it. ophecks?
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virginpusher
from County Clare on 2005-08-11 16:40 [#01692299]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker
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ophecks: [ sits ] Well, I'm sorry about my partner, he tends to get very, very upset. Can I
buy you some pie, or possibly a..
Qrter: [ pulls ophecks aside ] What are you doing?!
ophecks: Did you want to be the good cop? 'Cause if you do, that's no problem..
Qrter: Look, look! It's simple! It's simple! Just watch - Good Cop, Bad Cop! [ returns to
ecnadniarb ] Let me at 'im! Let me at 'im! I'll eat his face off! [ pulls ecnadniarb up,
then jumps to the opposite side of him ] Now, look, Qrter, don't do that.. I mean, violence
never got us anywhere..
ecnadniarb: [ slightly confused ] That's right..
Qrter: [ reverts to Bad Cop ] Don't give me any of that liberal crap! I'll kill 'im! I'll
kill 'im! I'll tear him apart! I'll eat 'im alive!
ecnadniarb: Who's this guy..?
Qrter: [ Good Cop ] Now, look.. now, look.. I don't know how long I can hold him off.. he's
an animal, he's an animal.. please, for your own sake, tell us where the girl is..
ecnadniarb: Uhh...
Qrter: [ Bad Cop ] I don't care where the girl is! I'll kill 'im! I'll kill 'im! I'll kill
'im! I'll kill 'im! I'll kill 'im..! [ turns to ophecks ] You see?! It's simple! It's easy!
Any idiot can do it!
ophecks: Well, let's do it..
Qrter: Except the idiot I got for a partner! I'm going down to the squad car.. before I hurt
somebody! [ exits room, shattering glass everywhere ]
ophecks: Gee.. he seems to have lost patience with me, Mr. ecnadniarb.. so, if you wouldn't
mind, on the way down to Headquarters, if you would just, you know, kind of ride up front
with him in the car?
ecnadniarb: [ surrenders ] Here, here, here.. [ pulls out a pair of keys ] Here's the keys! The girl's locked up in a warehouse on 8th Street!
ophecks: [ takes the keys ] Hey, Qrter! I think I found a clue! [ pulls out handcuffs ]
Okay, ecnadniarb.. you've had an easy ride of it so far, but you are coming with me! [ thinks he's handcuffed Devoney, bu
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virginpusher
from County Clare on 2005-08-11 16:42 [#01692301]
Points: 27325 Status: Lurker
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but he ends up pulling the chair out instead ]
[ zoom out to fade ]
GAY XLT CHARACTER COUNT!!! NOT ENOUGH ROOM
MY THREAD WAS RUINED!!!! RUINED I SAY!!! AND IT NEVER EVEN HAD A CHANCE!!!
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EVOL
from a long time ago on 2005-08-11 16:47 [#01692304]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker
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i can't believe i just had the patience to read through all of that althought it really wasn't that much just kinda hard to follow at times... *applauds*
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DeadEight
from vancouver (Canada) on 2005-08-11 16:47 [#01692305]
Points: 5437 Status: Regular
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i enjoyed it.
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r40f
from qrters tea party on 2005-08-11 18:39 [#01692369]
Points: 14210 Status: Regular
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<--- laffs a lot!!!
"two thumbs up," raves me.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2005-08-11 22:38 [#01692438]
Points: 21454 Status: Regular
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"One thumb up... r40f's BUTTHOLE!!!"
*shoves thumb up r40f's butthole and gives an a-ok symbol with other hand and smiles*
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