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J198
from Maastricht (Netherlands, The) on 2005-07-05 08:51 [#01653113]
Points: 7342 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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for wallowing in self-pity but i feel a desperate need to get this off my chest and share this with my xlt buddies.
I just heard (about an hour ago) that i definitely won't be able to continue to the 2nd year of art school. This is already the 2nd time i tried, and though i haven't exactly been working my ass off all year, i feel i can still say i have done my best (just not at the times when it mattered most).
I'll be 25 in a few days, and i hope i can just say that in the first quarter of a century of my life i have managed to fuck up everything i started and tried to finish, but that hopefully a new time will come as i now know that college just wasn't meant for me. There is no chance of me ever trying to apply for college again, as i have been trying to study since the year 2000.
The only thing i worry about now is finding a job as i've never had much luck with that in the past. I really want to continue doing my 'art' stuff and i'm very afraid that i won't be able when i have a shitty, energy draining crap job.
i wish i could cry or something but i cant be arsed. the only thing that really sucks is that i have to tell my dad, who has been paying all this shit for years now. He thought everything was going well, and it was, but not well enough.
'there is more to life than college' 'i should be proud to be able to say i tried' 'maybe there is a reason for this'
marlowe: please make me feel miserable. thanks.
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marlowe
from Antarctica on 2005-07-05 08:55 [#01653114]
Points: 24590 Status: Lurker | Followup to J198: #01653113
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It's okay, I was in a similar position, Jeroen. I tried college and university and nothing seemed to be going right. But then I discovered that I had a knack for C.A.D. and I also found it fun and challenging, so I just completed a course in that at college part-time, finishing a week early and top of my class. Now I should be able to get a well-paid job doing something that's quite fun and better than working in the service industry for minimum wage.
The moral is not to give up just because you had some setbacks in the higher education front.
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thatne
from United States on 2005-07-05 09:09 [#01653116]
Points: 3026 Status: Lurker
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'fraid i can't sympathise, 'cos i'm suffering harder than you are. that's what i learnt from "human civilisation."
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obara
from Utrecht on 2005-07-05 09:22 [#01653123]
Points: 19377 Status: Regular | Followup to J198: #01653113
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i fucked with a 3 year english-teacher-training college for about...5 years ? quiting and restarting, wasting time and money i'd earned. just to discover lately that i hate teaching, i'm not a teacher - and i want to try to start doing what i really love : messing with sound/acoustics. that's why i submitted my papers to Sound Engineering last week. and i hope i get accepted. i'm gonna try anyway.
...so, i kinda know what you're going through. i used to lie to my parents when they paid for my education - i had bad grades but couldn't talk to them about that ....oh, well...blah blah
DON'T GIVE UP anyways
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pOgO
from behind your belly button fluff on 2005-07-05 09:24 [#01653125]
Points: 12687 Status: Lurker
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It's okay! You're only 25!
I'm a stoner that works in a call center
Why don't you design some flyers or something and approach local clubs and stuff with them.
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010101
from Vancouver (Canada) on 2005-07-05 09:38 [#01653138]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular
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I wouldn't worry about it, I wish I had quit University after the first year. I did a Fine Art degree and it was a waste of time and money, I only perservered because of my parents.
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hanal
from k_maty only (United Kingdom) on 2005-07-05 09:53 [#01653155]
Points: 13379 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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hey man i became a father at the age of 17 and now im 34,yeap work it out-and for the last 3 years my son hates me.but life goes on,life is good-wot im trying to say is shit has a way of sorting itself out,even when you godda ride it ruff fof a while
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Ophecks
from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2005-07-05 10:24 [#01653191]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag
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You'll be fine, you seem very intelligent and cultured so somewhere there is an opening for you. Granted you might have to get lucky and you'll have to look hard, but college is not the be-all-and-end-all. And you say your dad has been paying for this? That's quite fortunate, you're not kneedeep in this shit by yourself.
I'm in the same boat, 22 isn't so bad though. Neither is 25, really.
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J198
from Maastricht (Netherlands, The) on 2005-07-05 11:40 [#01653241]
Points: 7342 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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thanks everyone. i appreciate your comfort.
what bothers me the most is that even though 25 isnt very old, it's not very young either. i have acomplished NOTHING in the past 5 years. I grow older but i'm not going anywhere.
If i find a job, it will be difficult to break free from that to find something i really want to do. I have too little willpower.
I feel worthless and lost. Dont know what to say but thanks for listening.
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outpt
on 2005-07-05 13:08 [#01653301]
Points: 158 Status: Regular | Followup to J198: #01653241
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you are only 25. at 25 very few people have acheived anything. having a degree and a 9 to 5 isn't an acheivement it's a peice of paper and a job. having more money than you know what to do with is not an acheivement it is a sign of greed. the best experience of your life may only last a matter of minutes and you still have about 60 years for it to happen. the past may have been bad or it may have been fun, however the future is what lies ahead, just enjoy life and all it brings, and you will have acheived a lot more than most people.
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nacmat
on 2005-07-05 13:19 [#01653307]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to outpt: #01653301
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word
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DeleriousWeasel
from Guam on 2005-07-05 13:52 [#01653331]
Points: 2953 Status: Regular
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you have total sympathy from me J198, it sounds like you're in a grim situation but at least we can take hope from the fact that so many of us have come through tough moments in our lives and it makes us stronger people all in all. You're young, no one has died, move on from art and get a menial job from which you can work your way up.
good luck! :)
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J198
from Maastricht (Netherlands, The) on 2005-07-05 15:56 [#01653413]
Points: 7342 Status: Lurker | Followup to DeleriousWeasel: #01653331 | Show recordbag
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hey man. i read your thread and i feel like an ass for not knowing what to say.
these are wise words indeed (though i will not give up art as it's something i can put my feelings into. it's not something i would like to live off) and i hope you will feel better about your life soon as well. Thanks.
Outpt: very well said and i hope you are right about those 60 years :)
i feel like such a kid for shouting for attention like this and then getting all this support from you guys when i'm being an insensitive bastard myself towards others on this MB every now and then. I'm learning a lot (about people), still.
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