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Forgive me
 

offline J198 from Maastricht (Netherlands, The) on 2005-07-05 08:51 [#01653113]
Points: 7342 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



for wallowing in self-pity but i feel a desperate need to
get this off my chest and share this with my xlt buddies.

I just heard (about an hour ago) that i definitely won't be
able to continue to the 2nd year of art school. This is
already the 2nd time i tried, and though i haven't exactly
been working my ass off all year, i feel i can still say i
have done my best (just not at the times when it mattered
most).

I'll be 25 in a few days, and i hope i can just say that in
the first quarter of a century of my life i have managed to
fuck up everything i started and tried to finish, but that
hopefully a new time will come as i now know that college
just wasn't meant for me. There is no chance of me ever
trying to apply for college again, as i have been trying to
study since the year 2000.

The only thing i worry about now is finding a job as i've
never had much luck with that in the past. I really want to
continue doing my 'art' stuff and i'm very afraid that i
won't be able when i have a shitty, energy draining crap
job.

i wish i could cry or something but i cant be arsed. the
only thing that really sucks is that i have to tell my dad,
who has been paying all this shit for years now. He thought
everything was going well, and it was, but not well enough.

'there is more to life than college'
'i should be proud to be able to say i tried'
'maybe there is a reason for this'

marlowe: please make me feel miserable. thanks.


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2005-07-05 08:55 [#01653114]
Points: 24590 Status: Lurker | Followup to J198: #01653113



It's okay, I was in a similar position, Jeroen. I tried
college and university and nothing seemed to be going right.
But then I discovered that I had a knack for C.A.D. and I
also found it fun and challenging, so I just completed a
course in that at college part-time, finishing a week early
and top of my class. Now I should be able to get a well-paid
job doing something that's quite fun and better than working
in the service industry for minimum wage.

The moral is not to give up just because you had some
setbacks in the higher education front.


 

offline thatne from United States on 2005-07-05 09:09 [#01653116]
Points: 3026 Status: Lurker



'fraid i can't sympathise, 'cos i'm suffering harder than
you are. that's what i learnt from "human civilisation."


 

offline obara from Utrecht on 2005-07-05 09:22 [#01653123]
Points: 19377 Status: Regular | Followup to J198: #01653113



i fucked with a 3 year english-teacher-training college for
about...5 years ? quiting and restarting, wasting time and
money i'd earned. just to discover lately that i hate
teaching, i'm not a teacher - and i want to try to start
doing what i really love : messing with sound/acoustics.
that's why i submitted my papers to Sound Engineering last
week. and i hope i get accepted. i'm gonna try anyway.

...so, i kinda know what you're going through. i used to lie
to my parents when they paid for my education - i had bad
grades but couldn't talk to them about that ....oh,
well...blah blah

DON'T GIVE UP anyways


 

offline pOgO from behind your belly button fluff on 2005-07-05 09:24 [#01653125]
Points: 12687 Status: Lurker



It's okay! You're only 25!

I'm a stoner that works in a call center

Why don't you design some flyers or something and approach
local clubs and stuff with them.


 

offline 010101 from Vancouver (Canada) on 2005-07-05 09:38 [#01653138]
Points: 7669 Status: Regular



I wouldn't worry about it, I wish I had quit University
after the first year. I did a Fine Art degree and it was a
waste of time and money, I only perservered because of my
parents.



 

offline hanal from k_maty only (United Kingdom) on 2005-07-05 09:53 [#01653155]
Points: 13379 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



hey man i became a father at the age of 17 and now im
34,yeap work it out-and for the last 3 years my son hates
me.but life goes on,life is good-wot im trying to say is
shit has a way of sorting itself out,even when you godda
ride it ruff fof a while


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2005-07-05 10:24 [#01653191]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



You'll be fine, you seem very intelligent and cultured so
somewhere there is an opening for you. Granted you might
have to get lucky and you'll have to look hard, but college
is not the be-all-and-end-all. And you say your dad has been
paying for this? That's quite fortunate, you're not kneedeep
in this shit by yourself.

I'm in the same boat, 22 isn't so bad though. Neither is 25,
really.


 

offline J198 from Maastricht (Netherlands, The) on 2005-07-05 11:40 [#01653241]
Points: 7342 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



thanks everyone. i appreciate your comfort.

what bothers me the most is that even though 25 isnt very
old, it's not very young either. i have acomplished NOTHING
in the past 5 years. I grow older but i'm not going
anywhere.

If i find a job, it will be difficult to break free from
that to find something i really want to do. I have too
little willpower.

I feel worthless and lost. Dont know what to say but thanks
for listening.



 

offline outpt on 2005-07-05 13:08 [#01653301]
Points: 158 Status: Regular | Followup to J198: #01653241



you are only 25. at 25 very few people have acheived
anything. having a degree and a 9 to 5 isn't an acheivement
it's a peice of paper and a job. having more money than you
know what to do with is not an acheivement it is a sign of
greed. the best experience of your life may only last a
matter of minutes and you still have about 60 years for it
to happen. the past may have been bad or it may have been
fun, however the future is what lies ahead, just enjoy life
and all it brings, and you will have acheived a lot more
than most people.


 

offline nacmat on 2005-07-05 13:19 [#01653307]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to outpt: #01653301



word


 

offline DeleriousWeasel from Guam on 2005-07-05 13:52 [#01653331]
Points: 2953 Status: Regular



you have total sympathy from me J198, it sounds like you're
in a grim situation but at least we can take hope from the
fact that so many of us have come through tough moments in
our lives and it makes us stronger people all in all. You're
young, no one has died, move on from art and get a menial
job from which you can work your way up.

good luck! :)


 

offline J198 from Maastricht (Netherlands, The) on 2005-07-05 15:56 [#01653413]
Points: 7342 Status: Lurker | Followup to DeleriousWeasel: #01653331 | Show recordbag



hey man. i read your thread and i feel like an ass for not
knowing what to say.

these are wise words indeed (though i will not give up art
as it's something i can put my feelings into. it's not
something i would like to live off) and i hope you will feel
better about your life soon as well. Thanks.

Outpt: very well said and i hope you are right about those
60 years :)

i feel like such a kid for shouting for attention like this
and then getting all this support from you guys when i'm
being an insensitive bastard myself towards others on this
MB every now and then. I'm learning a lot (about people),
still.



 


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