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 (nobody)...and 200 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614069 Today 13 Topics 127541 |
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chapter 1: The Great Blueberry Duel Clive struggled, trying to free the Great Muffin Dagger from the many armed clutches of the giant pill bug. The giant pill bug struggled, trying to free the Great Muffin Dagger from the clutches of Clive. The Great Muffin Dagger hung in a void, a blackened hole of vile tensigrity!!! Its crisp pointy blueberries dripping like blood from the eyes of a great vermin!!! It hung motionless, except for a little bit of motion, and then it quivered. Clive stepped back, staring in wild surprised awe at the blueberries therein. With an evil eye, the pill pug eyed clive, holding the glimmering dagger in triumph in several right legs, then thrust the most delicious bluberries unto he! Clive ate.. and ate! He could not stop. The blueberry muffins were delicious. He ate, and ate! From a distance, something watched. In secrecy, something peeeeeered. Make a sound, it did not. For it knew the power of the Great Muffin Dagger... and it had to get it back. |
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this is a great story so far... makes me hungry, though... |
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Its a cliffhanger chapter ending. You know how to spin a good yarn. |
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Clive > Phobiazero |
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Bibliography: 1) the great work of Ren & Stimpalot "storyTime": episode 23:: ref:: quote- The Sheriff of Dodge City- && (pg.98) "thrust a generous portion of turkey paste unto he" "thou hast besquirted me"&& (Ren, 1988) c. 8872. unquote 2) sir Stavin's fantastic opera "Right con Von Snaggle, Sir, Peru": episode 14:: ref:: quote- Jarg, the madman- && (pg. 42) "I don't want to eat those donuts, ha ha ha ha ha!" (Jarg, 1994) c. 4438. unquote 3) what? |
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Chapter 2: The White Rabbit (a prequal) Clive looked perplexed. This was very peculiar indeed. He tried it again, slowly rotating his gaze horizontally in a panoramic motion. Yes... forest, forest.. forest.... he kept turning... and now... tundra, only this time he saw a white rabbit. Yes.. somehow... the entire scene was more than 360 degrees! ... He kept turning until he had completed two full circles.. now.. the same forest again.. This dimension was somehow 720 degrees! When his confusion wore down, the black rabbit standing before him became apparent. "tricky, isn't it?" sayeth the rabbit of black. "where am I?" inquired Clive, his dimpled chin quite sexuly and manishly perplexinated. "How should I know? Ask the white rabbit." with a sigh, Clive spinned a full circle as the panorama fluidly changed into the tundra scene. The white rabbit was wearing spectacles and holding something out as if expecting him. Unsuringly, Clive slowly took it. What remarkable object is this, does the reader suspect? What fantasticating thing... what marvelous thing could this object be..? Why... it was the Great Muffin Dagger!.. it's blueberries shimmering and quivering with a noble plumpedness! |
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you should be an author |
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write more! |
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Chapter threef (3.000): The Pursuit (a prequal to chapter 1, a sequal to chapter 2, and a nequal to Zog) In dawning realization of the profound good power containedth he in hine righteth hand, Sir Clive held yine Dagger of Muffin high and mightily!! To the foreskin of the sun raiseth he, it's blue electricity accentuating the light of the already blue sun, contrastinating with the broad orange sky and filling him with a hunger for muffins. "aaAeeeEEEEGhgh blugaaaaaaaaa!", something wailed like a fat retarded Tri-Adam's Apple Golumph child. "Mother?", Clive inquired with hope, puzzlement and love, for he longed to lay in her lap and grope her incestulally. Nay! Twas the white rabbit shrieking in pain. Stabbeth he was by some invisible force. and blood squirteth from his rabbity belly like mustard, ketchup and pickles. "Hurry.. get him... the black... rabbbbbbit!" Clive spun two circles expecting to run after the black rabbit. He saw the same scene, and remembered that was a circle to many in this 720 degree dimension which he was still becoming accustomed to. "I, uh, forgot my toothbrush" he said, making up an excuse to make his embarrassing mistake seem intentional. "um.. here it is", he said, pretending to grab a toothbrush out of the snow, then he nonchalantly spun a single circle. When he overcame his dizzyness, he saw the black rabbit... grinning evily.. and removing the dagger out of his own abdomen, which he had thrust through himself into the white rabbit. "I have the other half of The Great Muffin Dagger... Cliiiiive... come and get it if you dare!" The black rabbit pulled himself apart at the incision on his abdomen and a great bean stalk grew upwards after he collapsed to the floor. The black rabbit now climbed out of his own belly up it into the dreamworld above. Clive followed. Now Clive had only seen the horizontal 720 degrees of the dimension. He did not think of checking the verticle one by doing |
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((cont.)) Chapter threef (3.000) a sommersault, or perhaps a backflip. And it was in just such a recess that Zog, the mysterious hovering creature of blubber, had been secretly watching... and waiting. With haste, and evil intentions, Zog headed up the bean stalk after them, following the trail of magical blueberries and farting a trail of slime bubbles. |
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haha i can't wait to find out what happens next! |
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Chapter 4: The Transformation of Zog Up, up, up into the strange, strange, strange dreamworld dreamworld dreamworld went the black rabbit and Clive. Such was the enchantment of the dreamworld, (where everything spoken must be rhymed and nothing had to make sense) that when their heads peaked the clouds, each thought they were the other character. Each still held half of the Great Muffin Dagger, only now the black rabbit (who was now a black kangaroo) chased through the cluttered dreamworld nonsensicals of giant melting popsicles and square rainbows after a hopping and carrot munching Clive (who was now Dave). "hur, hur, hur" laughed Zog as he ascended the bean stalk, the last "hur" being said above the clouds. "bur" then muttered he unwillingly, as the dreamworld's unbreakable rhyming rule forced it to be extracted from his blubber throat. He (lacking a better non-gender specific pronoun) laughed, for the dreamworld was his true dimension where he could transform into his true self.. no longer limited to manifestating as the puny hovering creature of blubber he was below. "BLAAAAAAAAAARGH (glaaaaaaaaaargh)" shouted he in fiendish transormation into Godlike Orcface Zog (aka Goz, or Zog spelled backwards). The power caused a chain-like ripple of domino-like chain-like rippling to be sent out in a sphere across the dreamworld, in an enormous BOOM sound that knocked over both Dave and the black kangaroo. (Meanwhile below, in the 720 degree dimension, the white rabbit, his wound now bandaged, looked upward wondering what caused the enormous explosion. Then he farted and continued making an oragami penguin by folding corner A to side B-D.) In the dreamworld, Dave and the kangaroo sat wide eyed and unable to move, terrified and surprised at the strange enormous many toothed orc faced creature that was seen at a great distance lunging straight at them!!! Gaining on them he did! Gaining .. and gaining... and gaining..... |
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Please God more. |
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MORE!@!! |
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I'm on the edge of my seat!!! *scoots back* |
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chapter 5a: The Charge Continues With such a determined swiftness did Goz waltz, with such a mad quickness did he frollic... EVER SO DAINTILY... toward his terrified prey, that left he a trail of transparency increasing self images that could not keep up!! The last of these never even bothered to follow and instead sat on a cloud to eat a nearby popsicle, though unable to since his transparent fangs repeatedly passed right through it. In a sudden rush of adrenelin, or perhaps energy from the carrot, Dave (who still thought he was the black rabbit) hopped aside and held the uneaten half of his carrot up to his eyes, blocking his view of the charging demon! The rest of his body still in plain, nay, conspicuous view, he knew from his keen intellect that if he could not see Goz, Goz could therefore not see him. Godlike Orcface Zog kept charging, apparently over quite a distance due to the time it was taking, his trail of self images leaving a wake of melted popsicles, clouds and shattered rainbows. He could only see one of them now, but he needed both halfs of the Great Muffin Dagger. He lusted for it, you see, because no other dagger could cut the tomatoes he used on his sandwiches just right. No longer seeing Dave, he continued charging toward the black kangaroo in a terrifying prance! Having no carrot to shield his eyes, the kangaroo (who still thought he was Clive) looked for something else he could use instead. His kangaroo paws were too short to reach his face, and he was unable, try as he might, to simply divert his gaze due to immense fright. In his peripheral vision, he saw his half of the Great Muffin Dagger clasped ever so snuggly in his hand. It was slender.. and carrot like... Unable to find anything to use, he resorted desperately to one last tactic; breaking Dreamworld's rhyming rule. Perhaps, just perhaps, if he could do it, it would shatter the dreamworld, and maybe, just maybe.. destroy Goz. |
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Bump. |
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Ch. H Suddenly all the characters in whatever scene it was forgot why they were doing whatever they were doing and stopped. Perhaps the scene was a pirate ship, perhaps the inside of a whale. In any case it doesn't matter. One of the characters is probably named Clive. Regardless he shall hencefortheth be known by such a letter combination. A great fishing hook, attached to a fishing line of course, decended slowly from a gap between two oxygen molecules until it stopped, lowering that is HA HA HA HA, what? in front of Clivises "eyyes". On the hook was a bait, to be more specific a bat. "Hebujuba Doo" sayeth the bat bait. Having taken bat speaking class in his studies at FAG university, sayeth Dwayne, or Clive or whoever:: "What?" For although this was a bat, it spoketh complete gibberish. The bat was making gestures with its wings trying to communicate. It was of course, sitting on the hook rather than being impaled on it.. so casually it impaled itself so as to be more comfortable while continuing to gesture Puzzled though he was, Dr. Leuitenant Clive, did as the bat was apparently motioning to do ie. stick his thumb into his butthole. Suddenly the bat's continued stream of blabbering made sense: "Jufa nudja difhole. Yeah, like that. Can you hear me now?" Amazed, Clive eventually answered. "..." "..." "yes. I can only understand ye when my thumbeth afes en me butthole." "bla bla bla" said the bat. So Clive took his seal flipper and gently pulled the eyelashes on his left eye NO NO, wait.. his RIGHT, and put the fish hook through his "eyyelid". Tuggeth he on the line to alert the mystery fisherman unto his catch eth. And up slowly he went, slowly, slowly and whence he(th) taken a leave ipe 'nere a hare's meter 'n a half, a crap squeezeth out to the side of his still plugged thumb, landing on the bat below who had already been turned inside out and splattered and generally made deceased by the valiant.. the glo |
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Ch. H (CONTINUEB) rious etc. Clive or perhaps Dwayne. a wash of bluishly purple yellows filled the sky to the east-west, and the narrator apologized for spilling koolaid on it. Meanwhile, the very first chapter felt rather awkward, for it was anthropomorphic, for having so many prequals which never lead up to it.. and perhaps.. never will.. unless... Barely noticing a glint on the cloud below due to his aching, yet quite apparently durable eyelid, Clive plucked it up in his flipper just in time.. he seemed to remember it from somewhere.. it seemed important somehow, yet mysterious as if a forgotten relic from another dimension. As he continued to ascend, Clive licked his lips, for he hungered... for muffins. |
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AND FAGSAUCE, HA HA HA HA HA! |
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Gawesome, I wanted to read this again to see what I think of it after forgetting about it for a long time. Thanks for the sneakbump! |
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Great story. I require more. |
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You're such a fucking turd, really. |
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The story got suckier toward the end, but I did that on purpose to waste people's time after hooking them at the beginning. |
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You are such a fucking horrible turd. |
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And you're a pathetic failure who hides his ineptitude for music and living a decent life in general by being an asshole sadist. Anything that you don't immediately identify with, you deem below you and thus unfit for existence. Oh wait, I forgot, you're fighting the good fight!.... on the internet. |
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What a fantastic story. We have a similiar way of writing tales. |
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:): |
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