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now, anyone who knows anything about the effects of marijuana knows that the increased perception and the new perspectives opened to you are part of the experience for anyone who doesn't indulge on a regular basis. I can say that it has improved my calculation and my way of thinking in a very positive way.. I cannot say, however, that I actually enjoy any kind of smoking "session" at all right now.. and I havent been able to for the past year or two. it is common for people to get a little uneasy on it and say, go to bed ..or leave before everyone else. but for me, it has lead to a lasting, negative hyperawareness that is usually a subtle presence that is - for the most part - dormant until of course someone has an 1/8th that people are excited about .. this is usually the point where my night is ruined in an attempt to prevent distancing myself from those who DO enjoy it and will soon experience that enjoyment.. the reason people get so caught up with their own thoughts after smoking is because it strips away all the pretenses that have been blocking your view of the things you'd like to forget or continue to ignore ..for whatever reason.. and it's usually a source of anxiety or a regret or acknowledgement of irresponsible behavior that one is faced with when reentering a marijuana-induced state. SO ..you start realizing that there are all these things you've been avoiding and, oh god I really fucked up! and fucking up too much will put me in a bad place where I'll have to start limiting my options and go into survival mode and everyone will want to distance themselves from me and.. all of a sudden (to you) everyone is on to your current train of thought and have already arrived at the same conclusion and arent saying anything about it to your face just to be amicable and because they wouldn't want to make things 'awkward'.... Okay. there is merit to some of the 'revelations' you have when high like that.. but I - and many others I'm sure - tend to immediately assume they're all correct, and go |
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Try DXM than, it is a dissacociative |
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Instant Nihilism....Pot Smokers are pussys |
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William S. Burroughs called it "the fear" - some people get it from weed. It depends on your own personal chemistry and where you are mentally at the time. The perspective you have when stoned is, like every other human perspective, an illusion. The difference is that you become helpless in the face of your illusion and lose the power to bend it to your will like a normal person can. I know lots of people who never get the fear and really like weed. They smoke and smoke and smoke as fast as they can breathe. Some of them are getting old now and they're no more mentally advanced than when they started smoking in their teens. Their brains are pickled and preserved in THC brine. |
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into this depressed state of self-loathing.. larry david depicted this kind of thing pretty well in a 'curb your enthusiasm' episode where he gets some chronic for his dad's glaucoma.. his reflection in the bathroom mirror begins to upbraid him for not getting a colonoscopy and being scared to do it.. and patronizingly asks if he knows that his father in law's birthday is coming up; if he's getting him anything before letting him know that "no you're not@! you're not gonna do SHIT!".. THEN after a few more of these - to which, by the way, he responded very timidly and affirmatively - he lashes back saying "oh yeah, you're right. you know everything don't you?!"..his reflection then asks him who the fuck he thinks he's talking to. the thing that I've began to realize recently is that those revelations or whatever are pretty much consistantly, uniformly negative.. where I'm the one to blame for everything that has, will and maybe has or maybe will go/ne wrong.. EVER. the stress it brings is for the most part unnecessary and some thoughts are worth ignoring despite the fact that they may be plausible. my question is this: why is it that only negatives are assumed/immediate? and why do these negative thoughts seize control of your mindset.. and further. WHY the fuck do I project as much as I do and think people are thinking the same things and feeling the same way about me ?!?! I'm very reasonable/rational so I KNOW they most likely couldn't give a fuck about what's on my mind and they're more concerned with themselves or others to be tracking my present anxieties.. and yet I allow this negativity to become the focus and the scope through which I view everything. things aren't good until I agree with that negativity and find a way to right whatever wrongs lead to it. and cocaine.. forget it. I was a figety, anxious ball of nerves that had to be constantly occupied with something so that the people around me couldn't watch me long enough to begin judging me and my barely-concealed irration |
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didnt read it, but i think you suck |
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You're only talking about the side-effect of the pot, when you become known with this side-effects, and just ignore or enjoy them you will get high..peace...and i aint no hippie.. |
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he sucks on a joint btw |
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everything has side effects |
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the side effect of farting loud: dirty underpants once in a while |
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..my barely-concealed irrational panic. something they probably DON'T EVEN NOTICE. it fucks up my ability to communicate with people without considering what ELSE they may be saying.. or what every glance or second of silence is implying .. and how it might be directly the result of this concept of self that everyone else.. I assume for some reason.. has apparently adopted. I don't want to say too little so I say too much and I then regret not saying too little because of whatever conclusions they might have drawn from whatever was revealed in my speech. should I be telling myself that these ideas are rediculous?? the reason I entertain them is because they sound so GOOD. they are so fluid and they arrive at theri conclusions without being sidetracked. .. of course, it's a bit like a ouija board kind of thing at times because as you're drawing some of these conclusions you're also DIRECTING them. as soon as something fits as a possible next step in the logic you're following, you use it and accept it as truth. what do you, the experienced and less neurotic pot-smoker, do when faced with this kind of panic? is it something that, as I've begun to notice, is less present with continued use of marijuana? also, I tend to really perk up and get more active than I was just minutes before because I HATE falling into that inescapable trap ..the amodivation that slows time and prevents all bodily movement (thus the over-analytical mental response).. and one of my friends smokes at the beginning of the day.. is it a good way to actually motivate yourself? as counterintuitive as that may seem.. it actually scares me away from that pot inertia sometimes.. but that is inappropriate at times when people just want to 'chiilll' and watch whatever is on hbo2 at 4 in the morning. my question is: how does one function as they normally would, with reasonable alteration, disallowing the THC to take total control of your mind/body!? I know it is possible to really enjoy it. alright I'll stop now. thanks for |
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Side effects of chronic chronic: 1) stalling of personal development 2) morbid introspection 3) enjoying very bad art, music, literature (comic books) 4) thinking you are "smart" |
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I appreciate your having read this.. all 2 of you.. and your comments. I want real talk on this though.. I know you're kidding but I spent the time to type all that shit out because I'm very serious/interested in how other people's experiences have paralleled mine and the solutions they may have.. |
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5) inability to count |
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I always think I'm the smartest person on at least 2-3 continents though. the problem is, on pot I go on and on about my brilliant observations on some real BULLSHIT sometimes.. which can get embarassing the day after where I wish I'd kept my mouth shut |
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Yes, we're all so fucking brilliant when we're baked. Except we're not. Once you've been stoned a couple of times and have attained the brilliant insight that it's possible to think and feel differently, you can stop. YOU CAN STOP NOW. |
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You're not special. You're not particularly intelligent. You're an arrogant narcissist who annoys other people |
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Think of your mind as a delicate and beautiful flower that monoid is trying to crush. |
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I find myself to be so clever i smoke to numb it. |
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Gadzooks, it's working! :D |
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monoid.. I was being hilarious there, calm down. you're right though.. about the not being particularly special and being an arrogant narcissist. I am, however, particularly intelligent. |
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I recall one pair of potheads who told me how it made them geniuses. So I asked them to say or do something impressive. The evidence of their genius was that one of them remembered something I'd said previously. They couldn't remember why I'd said it though. I guess even genius has its limits. |
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I am, however, particularly intelligent. You spell okay but you need to learn about paragraphs. |
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Fuck, and I need to learn to close html tags. |
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about two years back there was new evidence found in Dutch research that the use of hash/weed can directly facilitate psychosis and schizophrenia. apparently it increases your chances profoundly - and if I remember correctly, you do not have to be a regular user. |
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well this is a mb.. I like to think that rambling on like that is part of the purpose for this/blogs etc I never thought of it as an illusion before. that's interesting.. its illusory effect is mostly a cognative one though.. ie no one is melting and jesus isn't coyly waving at you from across the room. don't you agree, though that there has to be merit to both your observations and your dark personal insights, however exaggerated they may be? do you just tell that negativity to fuck off.. and how do you 'bend' it to your liking |
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What is illusory is not the physical world but your emotional response to it. You can change what you feel by changing what you think. As Robert Anton Wilson asked, do sad people live in a sad world? Do angry people live in an angry world? I am familiar with the life position you are describing. Your greatest impediments are marijuana, your own thoughts, and your desire to meet the expectations of your fellow smokers. You must recognize that potheads are the greatest enemies of change and progress. Your peers do not want to see you doing something fresh because they are stale. Remember to others you are one of "them" - one of the peers that enforces staleness. |
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nono.. I'm not trying to 'keep up' with the other smokers.. like a frat pledge to one of his potential brothers trying to show he can drink as much and handle it as well.. I just would LIKE to actually enjoy it ..and sometimes it keeps whatever good rapport you have going that night ..and you'd be in a completely different mindstate than everyone else who isn't just drunk.. it's not at all a peer pressure thing.. it's usually just like, hey pot! sure I'll do this.. because people always want you to smoke too.. but usually I don't indulge or I just take a hit or two.. it's just those like two blunt nights where I take a risk and spend the rest of the night THINKING..and the rest of the next day considering the previous night's conclusions and why I spent so much time considering the possible extent and furtherance of my [induced/perceived]isolation... pot heads are enemies of change? no. I think they've spent a lot of time thinking about what's wrong and they've satisfied themselves with coming up with their own assessment and their own solutions.. they just never do anything with them. |
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Exactly. You can do things, or you can smoke pot and think (in an intellectually and emotionally impaired state) about doing things. |
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nono.. I'm not trying to 'keep up' with the other smokers.. like a frat pledge to one of his potential brothers trying to show he can drink as much and handle it as well.. I just would LIKE to actually enjoy it ..and sometimes it keeps whatever good rapport you have going that night ..and you'd be in a completely different mindstate than everyone else who isn't just drunk.. it's not at all a peer pressure thing.. it's usually just like, hey pot! sure I'll do this.. because people always want you to smoke too.. It's much subtler than frat boys and beer. And you described the subtlety perfectly. Let's all smoke this nice herb and we can all think and feel the same way and have the same lifestyle of thinking and feeling the same way. Why would anyone want do do anything different? |
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so basically, (on the topic of dire introspection) it is not worth paying attention to .. it's not only completely inappropriate in a social setting (I've never thought of cannabis as a social drug.. well for me at least) .. while you may be on to something in terms of your logic etc.. you are basically creating the conclusions because they fit conveniently .. but the panic and resulting isolation comes from what is really hyperbolic, exaggeration bordering on irrationality. if anyone develops an opinion of you while in this state.. that opinion probably wont be anything deeper than.. "he must be pretty fucked up/bugging out right now" and is not hypothesizing on the reasons for any internal dissonance which would have to be based on information that, really, only I could know. I've always looked at the 'fear' as the authority because it was really making me focus on things that I was refusing to face. it all depends on your general emotional state at the time, really.. I'm just curious why these drugs intensify the anxiety.. esp. when they involve dopamine surges.. (it's the 'come down', I know..) and I've never had a bad experience with alcohol.. which I really indulge in (in excessive moderation ;) and can handle very well.. but that tends to make people face things they don't want to and can make people get real ugly or depressed so far only alcohol, my one mushroom experience, and like vicodin/percocete are the drugs I've had absolutely no negative experiences (save for the 'next days' when drinking.. but come on.) with. I'm even hesitant to do ecstacy.. something I want to do/love.. because of how emotional it is.. for some reason I think it would backfire on me hahah.. and acid forget it.. my friend explained it as being 100 yrs. old and reading a chronicle of his entire life.. past>future. ..please. acid seems to me like something you need to prepare for.. be in a very controlled env. w/ the right people-Ive spent enough time w/my own mind & dont need it intensified like that for |
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1st paragraph, right, they don't know what's going on in your head anyways. I really didn't like pot at all for about the past 2 years, but now in the past few months I've enjoyed it in moderation, and I pretty much know exactly how much to smoke to feel relaxed, interested in life, happy, etc. Too much though is still a bad experience. |
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I really dont see it as a pressure situation like that (.. I see you have some hangover paranoia still in you, eh?) though two of my friends basically developed another group w/which they continually indulge ..and smoking w/ them is like tagging along on someone else's date ahaha.. but I look at it as a nice thing you know? like they're doing it because they enjoy it, obviously.. and it connects people who are able and open to connect while high. it's not at all, though about conforming for me.. I'd just like to be able to enjoy it like and with them.. since I know what it is like to.. or I knew.. like in 1998.. what it was like to enjoy it |
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it's also like this: the moment the suspicions lurking in the back of your mind are consciously noted.. the suspicions, that is, of your having to throw up after a night of drinking. once you acknowledge that.. 'well, I pushed it tonight.. this is gonna happen' it's going to happen. once you try to FIGHT it though.. you're fucked.. and the next few minutes of you trying to keep the room still and fall asleep are the worst (were.. I don't really mind that anymore.. puking is a nice relief, actually haha) minutes ever.. because you're hurting yourself trying to fight back what would only happen sooner; ending it finally.. if you weren't busy trying to stop yourself ..thereby protracting the process.. when smoking.. I realized you have to 'stay afloat' like make an effort to keep your energy and interest in the banter and whatnot alive.. because people aren't just going to involve and have a good time with you if you're not doing anything and offer no input. once you think "I might be smoked right out of this setting.. I'm now officially isolated" you're officially isolated because you've already resigned yourself for the night.. and this is the worst because it usually happens right after the excitement of actually smoking ends and then it's time for the collective to experience and continue the night as it was up until this point. and you can't jump in late, either.. because you'll be making either no sense, or you wont flow at all w/ their conversation.. and you've already made yourself awkward and therefore vulnerable and not really the personality they were hanging out with before.. so what you say is forced, or out of context or whatever.. .. whatever, the point is.. you have to fight anything that might bring you down.. physically/emotionally and keep up ..or else it's really not worth smoking at all because it will just mean an unnecessary emotional challenge that no one wants to face in front of x amt. of people who you may or may not know you very well.. blabahlblahbalbhabalbhablha |
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fucking hell, if it makes you type such long boring pieces of text, I would advise you to never touch the stuff again. |
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cute. |
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I have been pretty intense/verbose haven't I.. whatever |
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For a messageboard maybe. |
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i used to smoke a lot of pot in high school, and i experience the scenarios or the fear, like you descibe, i could not and TO THIS DAY cannot enjoy mari jane. but i came to the conclusion that if you naturally are intropective, for which i am, m will only serve to continue this introspection, and given that you are introspective, and you are under the effect of the drug (and here is where it get important) your thoughts become 'influenced'. i found that m lowers your normalcy feeling, as all drugs do, but, and this is for all people, marijuana actually heigtens your awareness. a lot of people think that it chills you out, or calms you down, but it does the exact opposite. also its very addictive, and your body is letting you know this by heightening its senses. result: you are under the influence of the drug, coupled with your heightened senses and being naturally introspective = the fear. a lot of people are able to just ignore the fear, i found that i could, but only for a couple of hours or so, then the addictive awareness would set it. i found that the best way to ignore it is to do this. Think of a situation where you came to some grand realization, that totally freaked you out in a negative way, remember how you came to it and your train of thought, now take that situation and try to come to the exact opposite realization - reason it out using the same heightened awareness thing it works, its a logic argument |
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haha oh god. are those things interesting enough to quickly sift through? |
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Do you want to chew on my nipples ? It also will make you have deep thoughts about yourself... |
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jaroen you should read it, its not as daunting as it seems. |
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This appears to be compitition for the :D! Just kidding guys |
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Well i fucked that up. hahaha! That was for monoids thread :p |
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"also its, very addictive" that is misinformation; it is completley wrong. i went from smoking at least 3 times a day to smoking nothing, and that was 8 months ago. i still can't quit smoking tho, and i smoke about 20 a day. |
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i used to break stuff when i was nervous. and i got nervous pretty often. i don't anymore.. |
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dont get nervous or dont break stuff? |
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i don't get nervous anymore so no need to break anything. and i haven't had a smoke in like two months. |
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it is very much addictive, the state you enter when you are stoned is the addictive part, not the actually substance, its the buzz feeling that will always be with you. |
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hmm, that kind of doesn't make sense although i know what you mean. but if you can resist it it's not addiction is it? |
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