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 Now online (2)big Hyperflake ...and 211 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614165 Today 10 Topics 127544 |
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i'm going to a wedding reception tonight. another of my mates bites the dust! :( can you think of anything to write in my card? i can't, i feel hungover, and i'm struggling to line my stomach with enough food to drink myself stupid again. |
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why would anyone get married ? |
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haha nice one. |
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that's a good one. |
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A man inserted an ad in the classifieds, " Wife wanted". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine." AHAHAHAHAHAHA |
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jesus. |
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Ok, Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. |
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It's funny, because it's true. About restaurants AND marriage!!!! |
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talking out of experience? |
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you've turned into Bernard Manning. the thought alone just made me physically ill. |
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My boss always used to say "I've been married 25 years. If I'd killed someone, I'd be out by now" AAHAHAHAHA!!!! |
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oh jesus christ you're depressing the fuck out of me..! |
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there's a chinese, a pakistani, and a jew in a nightclub. what a great example of a multi-cultural society. |
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Great gag!!!! |
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My wife, she's a terrible cook, though, but she would be, she's dead! |
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boom-tish. |
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What about this hilarious t-shirt that I saw an excellent gel-headed drunkard wearing in town the other night? It read: "My best mate ran off with my wife....... ....I REALLY MISS HIM!!!!!!!" Bonus fact: it was written in comic sans MS. |
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"way to play out your options. you now have one vagina for the rest of your life, way to think it through." or something along those lines from the movie "oldschool" |
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whenever i see someone wearing an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt they always seem to be on their own |
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"congratulations, call me in two years, I know a great night club" |
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"Bonus fact: it was written in comic sans MS." that REALLY made me laugh! :D man that font is the least comic thing possible.. |
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the bonus fact rocked so hard!!!! :D hahah!!! |
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another film reference.. "5 out of 6 marriages get broken...do you two feel lucky? well, do you, you punks?" |
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BE MORE HELPFUL! |
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i'm going for a triple-S now and i expect to have something to write when i get back. |
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well, i was asking about it on slsk when i need it...it turned out i had to come up with something on my own. no one wants to help..it's just like that.. |
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i don't think you understand, it wasn't a request it was a demand. |
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how far can it go this sarcasm? i mean, most of us know you can take/get everything...but none of us knows your mates.. |
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I think just "For god's sake...Noooooooo" in your own blood, would be good. |
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hehe :) well, personally i find the short and to the point comments most hilarious. but im thinking you want something wiser for this card.. |
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I would seriously put "I'll build you a fucking time machine. Dont ask why, just save your money and in three years go back in time, warn yourself about this day and give yourself the money. trust me" and everyone would think i was fucking around. Thats the kind of shit i write. Stuff that is different. People appreciate it because it isnt mindless crap. It is unique and thought out and people appreicate that. I am guessing though that in your case you are going to neeed something more formal. I dont think i can be of any assistance though pete. If i think of something good i will type it. :) |
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his wife is one of those "if she lost 3 stone she'd be really fit" type of birds |
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take my wife, please! rdrr |
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''Congratulations on your marriage, may there be many happy years ahead for you both''. Yes. How much is three stone? |
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I'm married. it's pretty cool mostly. and my wife's new hobby is cooking which means i've been doing a lot of gormet eating which is hell-of swizz! |
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so you should put in the card, "Encourage your wife to take up a new hobby like cooking or distilling." |
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scrap "cooking or" and replace "like" with ":" |
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"it's nice to see that you're finally giving up and settling, just like you said you would one day. i hope you're happy with your dead end life and get at least a year worth of sex out of this. hope you like internet porn." |
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"She's not that bad. Better than dying alone I suppose. Congrats!" |
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haha! i think i'm gping to put "best of luck" so he doesn't quite know what i really mean. |
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haha...he won't be getting any if she sees that card.. |
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To whom it may concern, For him: "So I guess you're not exclusively into lifting mens shirts" For her: "His favourite brand of lubrication is XXXXXXX" Love Pete |
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"Wow it's so great that I felt the need to make fun of you on an internet message board!" |
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Who is that directed at? |
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just borrow someone else's words... "i can remember standing by the wall and the guns shot above our heads and we kissed as though nothing could fall and the shame was on the other side. Oh we can beat them for ever and ever then we can be heroes just for one day." a bit corny, but it did the trick at my cousin's wedding. |
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warning team: back & not sober. nice night. |
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whoa...just read the subject again...sorry...i thought it said "romantic". how about "congratulations, you must not be gay." |
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dear lucky so-and-so, my most sincere thanks for inviting me to share in your special day. there's nowhere else on earth i'd rather be than here, with you, watching your first furtive and innocent glances into each others' eyes as husband and wife. may you always remember this day, as anniversary follows anniversary, and the heartwarming glow of this celebration fades further and further into the darkness of memory." okay, maybe too sarcastic. |
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too late! i just put congrats. well i can't remember exactly but something like that. |
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"your kids are all going to be gay" |
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