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 (nobody)...and 183 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614103 Today 0 Topics 127542 |
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/-T|K|R|-\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ from the start on 2002-01-18 12:10 [#00071571] | |||||||||
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The 6th grade science teacher asked her class, "which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered for a long time 'till little Mary stood up, angry, and said the teacher should not be asking 6th graders a question like that. She was going to tell her parents, who would tell the principal who would fire the teacher! The teacher ignored her and asked the question again, "which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Finally Billy stood up and said that the body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye. The teacher said "very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and said, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: 1) you have a dirty mind, 2) you didn't read your homework, and 3) one day you will be very, very disappointed." |
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Cheap Magnet on 2002-01-18 12:13 [#00071573] | |||||||||
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hahaha |
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Chri5py from UK on 2002-01-18 12:19 [#00071577] | |||||||||
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Heh heh.... more! more! |
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/-T|K|R|-\\\\ from the start on 2002-01-18 12:21 [#00071579] | |||||||||
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yeah we want more please? |
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Chri5py from UK on 2002-01-18 12:23 [#00071580] | |||||||||
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I cant think of any.... and I dont want to use E-mail jokes coz most have heard them..... I'll think of some ;) |
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/T|K|R-\\\\ from the start on 2002-01-18 19:33 [#00071794] | |||||||||
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St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven." "Sounds easy enough. OK." So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his errand. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to the examination table and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, "What did you do for a living?" The old man replied, "I was a carpenter." Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked. "Yes, I had a son, but I lost him." Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?" "Well, he had holes in his hands and feet, and I made him myself in my own image, no sex was involved." Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?" The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?" |
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/T|K|R-\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ from the start on 2002-01-18 19:34 [#00071795] | |||||||||
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A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Jenkins, who was about to be cremated, he discovered the longest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry, Mr. Jenkins," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." With that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's privates. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase. "Oh, my God!" she screamed, " Jenkins is dead!" |
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/T|K|R-\ from the start on 2002-01-18 19:37 [#00071798] | |||||||||
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A married couple was lying in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he would periodically reach over to his wife and fondle her "pussy." He did this a few times but only for a very short time each time. He would then stop and resume reading his book. The wife gradually me aroused and thought that her husband was seeking some response before going any further. She got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked:"What are you doing taking your clothes off?" The wife replied, 'you were playing with my pussy. "I thought you were trying to give me the hint you wanted to make love tonight?!" The husband said," No, not at all." The wife then asked, "Well, why the hell were you touching me here then!" The husband replied, "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the page." |
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hahahahaha that one was great!!! |
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:D these are great |
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lol!!! that last one was good! |
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yeah! these were good jokes. |
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Am I the only one who was dissapointed it wasn't actually I science question? Yeah the jokes were funny, but I wanted an excuse to use my head. -Yes I know I'm a loser ;) |
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I have a science question for you dave_g. Why isn't water the most explosive substance in the world? It is made up of oxygen (which fire needs to burn in) and hydrogen (very flamable). When you toss a match into the sea, why is ther no chain reaction, huge fireball, and a large smoking hole where the sea should be? You have 1 hour to answer...starting...now |
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my teeth hurt. |
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The energy from the match is not enough to seperate the hydrogen and oxygen atoms. The enthalpy (energy change) needed to seperate the atoms in a water molecule at 1 atmosphere pressure and at say room temperature ( or Earth temperature??) is significantly higher than the enthalpy of combusion of match, say. However, using electrolysis, the hydrogen atoms (which are +ve charge) and the oxygen atoms ( -VE) are attracted towards the cathode and anode of a circuit respectivly. The energy from an electric current is sufficient to break the bonds which hold the atoms together as a molecule(covalent bonds), and the hydrogen and oxygen are seperated. (2)H20(l) -> (2)H2(g) + O2(g) This equation states that 2 molecules of water (liquid) when seperated by electrolysis creates at the electrical terminal 2 molecules of hydrogen gas, at the cathode, and one molecule of oxygen gas at the cathode..... You can now mix these gases, and unless you add enough energy to meet the enthaply of formation of water, they will co-exist. If you put them in a bottle, mixed them around, added an electric wire, and sent a spark into it, the energy released by the spark would be enough to cause the enthalpy of formation of water to be reached, and there would be a loud bang and some water vapour produced. I hope this counts as an answer, I know there aren't any figures or anything, but I can't be bothered to look up data, I did A level chemistry, so just trust me. |
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Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book. "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes," he answered, continuing to read. Goldie persisted. "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket on to hers, tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most passionate ride of her life! As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?" |
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