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 Now online (1)recycle ...and 315 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614106 Today 3 Topics 127542 |
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June 9th, 2004 Tesco Value Cheese Puffs Vital stats: Weight: 18G Best Before: See back of pack Quality: Guaranteed First Three Ingredients: Maize, Vegetable Oil, Cheese Flavour Seasoning Store in: A cool dry place Review Aesthetics: Bland packet design, unappealing use of typography. The blue stripes at the top and bottom represent the struggle between man and machine, but these are crisps, for God's sake. Horizontal transparent stripe across the middle reveals the painfully average looking crisps within. Not appetizing. Taste: I allowed the cylinder of corn to rest in my hand for a while before I ate it. It is looking at me, laughing at me, daring me to eat it. I step up to the challenge, lift my hand and place the maize maggot into my mouth. Vile. The beast writhes around on my tongue like a fish out of water, spreading its cheese death everywhere. A disaster is taking place and there is only one way to stop it. I manouvre the bastard in between my teeth and crush... a hugely unpleasant powder is shortly released into my mouth, leaving me with the impression that it has been coated with anthrax. I must swallow the ghastly mess now, and in doing so promise myself that I will never eat another. Aftermath: Hiroshima has just happened inside my mouth, so I feed the rest of the crisps to my dog, whose pathetic brain is unable to comprehend the cruelty I am inflicting upon him. He eats the packet without a hitch. Good boy. Score: 1/10 I implore you not to try these crisps. "Quality Assured" should read "Agony Assured". Tune in next time when I will be reviewing Tesco Rashers, their rip off of popular bacon treat "Frazzles". End transmission. |
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Frazzles are the bomb |
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this thread is not approved by qrter. please refrain from any contact whatsoever with it. |
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You should know better than to buy from the Tesco 'value' range. The Tesco 'finest' range is where it's at. |
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My mum bought them.... I have already disowned her. |
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hang on, it was bound to be shit it's not advertised by a slack jawed, big lipped twat |
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goedzo. |
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and the theme tune for the advert didn't have this cool muthafucka singing the song |
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Maybe if people had to pay per thread they created, the site would be better. |
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zach de la rocha? |
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maybe if you just had to pay to speak the world would be better ;p |
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hahaha that's fucking hilarious zach de la rocha sings for toploader |
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*Set as Background |
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dancin in the moonLIIIIIIGHT everybod-ays feelin warm n brIIIIIIGHHHHT! |
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Smooth move. |
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It's on Tile. Nice. |
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I've gone off crisps big time. They used to be an essential part of a packed lunch, but now I eat them purely for munchy value, to fill a void. The only crisps I still like are McCoys and these other ones that I've forgotten the name of but I remember the only flavour being T-Bone Steak. |
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I would offer you the full size image, which was approximately one billion pixels, but I deleted it. DJ Xammax: Roysters. My favourites are: Prawn Cocktail Walkers/Wotsits Roysters T-Bone Steak Brannigans Beef & Mustard... hardcore. |
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Ahhh of course :) Always a nice surprise when you find a shop that still stocks them. |
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The "crisps" in question guarantee a "quality". This "quality" could be the ability to taste like cattle excrement in the mouth of your average human. Therefore, a review based on a notion of flavour, texture and so on, is null and void. CLOSE THIS THREAD FOR THE GOOD OF OUR CHILDREN |
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Cos I had the time of my life Show me some love tonight You know I'll treat you right Cos I had the time of my life |
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I am not reviewing the validity of the guarantee... |
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Then what, pray, sir, are you reviewing? |
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Roysters T-Bone steak those are probably my most favorite crisps ever good choice mate :) |
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oh and the beef and mustard brannigans!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jesus, do you remember when they came in those cool bags that felt and looked like brown paper??! shame that they changed to an all-foil packaging :( |
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The crisps |
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Yeah man... shame about the foil motherfuckers. Those old bags made you feel like a true crisp eater of the night. |
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Ah. Beef space raiders are where it's at then. Salt and shake with no salt added, too. |
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well those crisps were (and still are) quite expensive. but at least with those brown paper bags (Reprazented by Roni Size) you felt like you weren't being reamed in the arse with the expense. anyways, damn good crisps. good solid crisps, and DAMN good flavour. sir, i salute you for your taste in crisps :) |
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Quality. 10p crisps make the world go round. Tangy Toms.. Space Raiders... Transform-a-snack... wicked. |
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Beef Space Raiders!!!!!!!!!!!! i've gotta find me some of those! i haven't seen them for years! ooooooooooooh salt n shake without the salt! that's hardcore. i dunno if anyone's had these, but here in Widnes there are some really cheap crisps (i'm talking like 10p a bag) called "Thingies". They're actually made here in Widnes according to the bag. Not bad for cheapo crisps |
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i had a mad craving for transform-a-snack! the big 20p bag is better value.....and you can make more space-car-man-things |
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Haha yeah warrington has those too. They're damn filling for 10p. |
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You used to get free comics on the back of space raiders as well. Although there were only about 3 episodes, it was still damn good value for money at 10p. They are like 20p nowadays I think. |
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yeah? :) I like the beef ones, and the tomato ones. i have a habit of putting them in my mouth sideways and biting them in half before eating the properly. i do that with all Wotsit-shaped crisps. i dunno why, its just something i have to do |
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The old packaging for space raiders was ace. Lurid, fluorescent-hued cartoons of space-bitches = cannot be beaten. |
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are they really 20p now? fucking hell :( |
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bright green and shit like that? :) |
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Has anyone actually managed to make the full man-car out of transform-a-snack because I can never find 4 wheels that fit his limbs. |
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i did a couple of times. it looked the bomb. but then i ate him. |
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I remember the space-bitch pretty well. She had lime green hair and some kind of strange triangular earring, I think one of the crisps was based on it. |
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Purple, yellow, pink and green on a black background as i remember. Like a blacklight picture, sort of. Re: transform-a-snack ---------> I never onced even tried, just munched the lot. |
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yeh! i'm sure that one of those comics on the back was to do with the triangle shaped crisp too.....maybe it was a sacred weapon earring or something? |
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why is it that even though they're cheap crisps, they taste so good? does anyone remember the Hedgehog Flavoured crisps? i fucking ate those like there was no tomorrow!!!!!!!!! they don't sell them anymore :( |
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The beef space raiders are still 10p round my area, but alas they are often neglected and the pickled onion flavour given the shelf space. But when I see that black and red packaging looking at me I buy enough to last me for a while! And because they're 10p that doesn't cost much. You would think frazzles would be in the cheapo crisps range wouldn't you, but they are a rip off :| |
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well i dunno...........when i see how big the packet is I think "yeh, they should be like 15p or something" but then once you've had the first crisp you remember how good they are. proper frazzles are worth the money |
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Pffff English.... |
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you're only jealous because you don't know what the fuck we're going on about |
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they are good crisps. Although I have to say the beef Space Raiders are my favourite, regardless of price. Yummmy BEEF FLAVOURED PUFFED-CORN SNACK |
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It's obvious you're discussing "crisps"!!!! |
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