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Confusion with my ex...
 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-08 07:43 [#01228944]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



I recentley made up with her platonically. This weekend
she....

- cooked me dinner at her place

- we look at snaps of our Sonar 2003 trip and remembered the
crazy times

- we went to see "Eternal sunshine...". I had seen it
already and knew she'd like it. It was great the second time
around but extremely odd watchin it with her - you know -
considering the whole ex. thing!

- she suggested we go out clubbing after, which we did (DJ
Food) and had a total blast-from-the-past dancey night out.

- back to hers for some wine,smoke and cheeze on toast (its
5am now) listening to autechre, SAW2 etc, winding down.

- we hugged each other goodbye for ages, i go to kiss her
telling her she feels so good, and she just presents ger
cheek saying nothing - i leave a little stoned/pissed/tired

So now i'm finding myself being extremely attracted to her
again, wanting to see her, but because i dumped her pretty
badly before and she's saying its only platonic now, i've
got the fear.....and i'm thinking....

a) maybe i'm just horny
b) maybe we shouldn't have broken up - talked more
c) i sort of feel totally confused. do ex's interact this
much without wanting more?
d) i don't want to start something again only to get peaved
with her a while later.
e) I sort of think we can have another go as we're both off
drugs this time and working steady jobs.

its nuts!





 

offline neetta from Finland on 2004-06-08 07:48 [#01228951]
Points: 5924 Status: Regular



i told you she didn't want sex.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2004-06-08 07:50 [#01228957]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



o


 

offline Jedy from dublin (Ireland) on 2004-06-08 07:51 [#01228958]
Points: 1280 Status: Regular



she is a teaser

stay away from her


 

offline VLetr from London (United Kingdom) on 2004-06-08 08:00 [#01228965]
Points: 793 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01228944



hmmm. quite a head scratcher.

is this the same ex you met up with a couple weeks back, the
IDM-loving gal who asked that you meet up togther, and had
lost her sweet ass by getting all skinny?


 

offline tolstoyed from the ocean on 2004-06-08 08:01 [#01228967]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator



umm, why don't you talk with her about this? i mean, if you
can't ask her this things directly...hmm, perhaps it is a
bit ackward...damn, why do we always need to complicate so
much...terrible.


 

offline epohs from )C: on 2004-06-08 08:03 [#01228969]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker



she wants a security blanket. you're familiar and
non-threatening. you're the security blanket.

if you don't mind being used as one then keep this up, but
remember, you're not allowed to be mad at her when she
starts fucking some other guy.

 

but, don't listen to me, i'm not even real.


 

offline goDel from ɐpʎǝx (Seychelles) on 2004-06-08 08:12 [#01228976]
Points: 10225 Status: Lurker



yes, sounds like a teaser

she'll probably cost you a lot of money


 

offline bill_hicks from my city is amazing it is calle on 2004-06-08 08:17 [#01228985]
Points: 4286 Status: Lurker



fuck her, kill her, leave her in a ditch and move on with
your life.


 

offline Jedy from dublin (Ireland) on 2004-06-08 08:18 [#01228988]
Points: 1280 Status: Regular | Followup to goDel: #01228976



is nice to see we have the same views :)


 

offline Quernstone from Padova (Italy) on 2004-06-08 08:28 [#01229003]
Points: 1826 Status: Regular



Key: Sheesh. that sounds messy. Could she just be trying to
get you back so that she can then dump you? Has she shagged
other guys since? Is she like that? Give us details?



 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2004-06-08 08:41 [#01229027]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



"i've got the fear"

ok, but do you have the F.E.A.R.?


 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-08 08:43 [#01229031]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



i'm extremely weary that its a security thing alright and
plan to approach the subject next time we meet....

..... which is later cos she wants to go to the Glade
festival with me and we've to book the tickets!!!!!!

The girl's a fucking loo-la.

Its this level of abiguity and
not-knowing-what-makes-her-tick that sort of intrigues me
and turns me on.....

Not sure if she's been with other guys as its sort of not my
busieness really..... she did mention she found it hard to
get intimate with em after we borke up cos of my nastiness.

(is supect a dabbling of girl/girl action may have gone on
but maybe thats just me reading shit into shit)

and she's put a bit of meat on her bones since i met her a
few weeks ago.... her ass is looking good!


 

offline Quernstone from Padova (Italy) on 2004-06-08 08:56 [#01229070]
Points: 1826 Status: Regular



As nacco said to me, you can only be yourself, if shit works
out, fine. If not, you have been true to yourself and you
are not compatible, end of story. It's emational stuff but
you are not the first person to go through with it.

"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and
glue them together again and tell myself that the mended
whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and
I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it
and see the broken places as long as I lived."


 

offline epohs from )C: on 2004-06-08 09:00 [#01229081]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker



regardless of other trivialties, tolstoyed is right.

talk with her. be as open and as honest as you possibly can
be. both of your real feelings will come to the surface
sooner or later, but if you're open from the very start you
might be able to avoid lots of animosity.


 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-08 09:07 [#01229094]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



true.. i just got to be myself... it gets confusiing when i
find myself attracted to her again.

its funny cos when she rang me on the weekend to meet up for
dinner she said to come over at 6pm..... thats was on the
June 6th... the 6th of the 6th... the forces of nature are
playing with me!



 

offline mappatazee from ¨y¨z¨| (Burkina Faso) on 2004-06-08 09:07 [#01229097]
Points: 14294 Status: Lurker



Just do what I always do. Kill the bitch.


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2004-06-08 09:16 [#01229108]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker | Followup to mappatazee: #01229097



and then eat her! Canabalism is the key!


 

offline Quernstone from Padova (Italy) on 2004-06-08 09:18 [#01229114]
Points: 1826 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01229094



yeah, love just ain;t logical. As hard as it might be you
must try to be.


 

offline pf from Finland on 2004-06-08 13:08 [#01229513]
Points: 3316 Status: Lurker



I'd say that please do something about it, if you dont it
will trouble you for a long long time. So do something, its
better that she's anrgy or dosent want to hang out with you
anymore, than that you guys spend time together and neither
know where you are going, know what I mean?


 

offline pf from Finland on 2004-06-08 15:36 [#01229808]
Points: 3316 Status: Lurker



KEYFUMBLER what do you think you will do?


 

offline Raz0rBlade_uk on 2004-06-08 15:58 [#01229850]
Points: 12540 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



If things don't feel awkward at all between you two then
just propose giving the relationship another try. It sounds
like you're willing to go with it. The only question is
whether she wants to or not.

p.s her showing her cheak shows caution on her part. In some
cases it shows a sign of friendship.


 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-09 03:10 [#01230569]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



Latest shit....

We had a long chat last night. The girl wanted to come to
Glade festival with just me, for 3 days sharing a tent. She
was all set to whip out her visa and book the tickets so i
had to ask her if she really thought it was a good idea. She
said "why not? i'm totally cool with the platonic thing" and
i confessed that since we met up again, i gots them confused
smitten feelings rising up. I said i'd love her to come, but
its proably a bit hasty given the circumstances and maybe we
should see how this new friendship works out first before
one or both of us start misreading shit.

She was surprised and realised then she was being a bit
forward but that's the way she is... and it is.

Mr. Highnsight tells me maybe i should have played it cool
and just see what happens... but am glad she knows now.

Personally i don't even trust these feelings anyway so we'll
see over time how it all works out.

Thanks for listening/advising...

Women!


 

offline goDel from ɐpʎǝx (Seychelles) on 2004-06-09 03:41 [#01230604]
Points: 10225 Status: Lurker



i think you've done the right thing. but, question: are you
two going to the glades or not? now that things are more
clear between you two, there's this possibility that you've
actually can get something more than a platonic relationship
out of the current relation...possibly
but thats just wishful thinking of course ;d


 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-09 04:00 [#01230630]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



we didn't get the tickets cos we had that chat....but fuck
it.....lifes too short and i respect her enough to keep my
hands off her over there........ i just txted her that we
should go anyway. SQUAREPUSHERS playing for fuck sake.....!


 

offline goDel from ɐpʎǝx (Seychelles) on 2004-06-09 04:15 [#01230651]
Points: 10225 Status: Lurker | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01230630



haha!
excellent


 

offline xf from Australia on 2004-06-09 06:15 [#01230803]
Points: 2952 Status: Lurker



dude, go anyway. it'll probably help you both to get over
it if nothing happens, anyway, and be strong; decide now how
you want to tackle this, and stick by it. you'll come out
of it a stronger person.

and goddamn, it's the glade festival! damn, you'd be stupid
not to go.


 

offline epohs from )C: on 2004-06-09 07:09 [#01230861]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker



print out this thread and show it to her.

and go to the festival!

tell her that she can come if she wants but, if she shares a
tent with you there is a good chance you're going to try to
put the moves on her. and that if she's not comfortable
with that she should probably make other arrangements.


 

offline od_step_cloak from Pleth (Australia) on 2004-06-09 08:21 [#01230951]
Points: 3803 Status: Regular



Yeah this weekend my ex came to a rave witrh us after I went
fucking spastic doing everyhting in my power to not get her
to come (including asking my mate who was getting tix to not
get her one)

She shows up, keeps pushing conversation, stares at me in
the club while I'm trying to do my own thing etc

She was being so fucking nice though - she knows I have
trouble hating people (especially girls) if they're nice at
the time no matter how they are in general.

Eventually we chatted and now I'm attracted to her again,
she wants to hang out but I'm going to make it clear that I
don't want to see her. BE STRONG MAN, WOMEN ARE FUCKING
EVIL



 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-09 08:26 [#01230954]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



its this whole Venus-transit thing.... its screwing with our
love lives... dragging the past into the present!!!!



 

offline od_step_cloak from Pleth (Australia) on 2004-06-09 08:37 [#01230961]
Points: 3803 Status: Regular



Yeah!!!! Didn't even think of that.

Man, in every relationship that is happening with my friends
etc, the girls are usually the ones treating the guys like
shit, cheating on them and then giggling about it behind the
guy's back etc, I'm taking control! I'm not taking any more
shit from women, I'm sick of it. If you wanna be nice then
we'll play but if you start being condescending or snobby or
nasty then out the door with you!


 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-09 08:42 [#01230968]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



there are some sweet girls out there.

<- this is what i'm talking about


 

offline VLetr from London (United Kingdom) on 2004-06-09 09:49 [#01231052]
Points: 793 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01230968



dude, the solution is simple: go to glade together, but
separate tents. you can always cuddle up in the same tent if
it become apparent that she is amenable to some fumbling
with the fumbler!



 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-09 10:15 [#01231081]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



yeh.... that'd be pretty cool

It'd even better if i just met some other chick who was into
electronica as much as her .... but they're damn hard to
come by.....

i gave her a copy of "ultrvisitor" and she's been txting me
how amazing she thinks it is - it friggin took me - a
massif fan - weeks to totally dig it. It'd be fucking great
to go to Squarepusher with her



 

offline telica from london/york on 2004-06-09 10:18 [#01231085]
Points: 789 Status: Regular



you have to go to the glade! just do the whole separate
tent thang or go without her.
it's going to be RAD!

i hope you work things out with her if that's what you both
want. however, she must be an ex for a reason, so don't
forget why you broke up with her in the first place. what's
changed to suggest you won't feel the same after a few
weeks/months. it's easy to remember the good times and
forget that stuff was far from perfect.

it does sound like you've done a lot of thinking about it
tho', so good luck, dear! :)


 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-06-09 10:28 [#01231094]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



reason for breakup: mostly drug related. .....i was going
off them,she getting into it. our social lives diverged, so
did we.

now she's off em a month and i'm totally clear headed and
the music is all that matters with us both. However she says
she spent 6 months pilling and escaping the pain of our
breakup and says she just wants it platonic as i'm
untrustowrthy with her feelings.

.. fair enough

She does seem the type to be able to decide not to be
attracted to me... even if she was.... which she says she
isn't. confused? me too!


 


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