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 (nobody)...and 199 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614592 Today 1 Topics 127572 |
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*Lights Brer Pipe and offers Alex a glass of port* Have a seat, dear boy, I have already lit kindling in the fire... throw on a log if you want, it's soothing, as is poking at the ashes... Yes, take that nice chair with the carvings on it and the garnet velvet upholstery. Now, down to business -- I have heard rumour that there are lurking this messageboard, people of a singular stupidity and fatuousness. What say you of this? Have you maychance stumbled upon any of these imbeciles on your roams through the lanes and fields of Xltronica? Here, allow me to light it for you. *takes a puff of his pipe* |
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haha |
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Paul, only you could carry a thread like this off with enough panache for it to avoid being a "nonsense topic". |
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summed up perfectly |
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Ah, here are our friends Rudster and Ceri, back from blackberry picking. They must be tired after that, but I expect they have energy left to bake us a lovely blackberry tart. I'll just show them to the kitchens if you will excuse me for a moment or two. |
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Well now! I must admit to an indefatigable predilection for that most toothsome of I-talian delicacies, the Pepperoni Pizza! |
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mm, mm, mm- *sucking on pipe, while Paul tries to light his fire* mm, mm, mm, yes.. I have heard much talk about this. It worries me deeply, I can tell you. It is of the utmost important for the integrity of this board to keep the people, um, shall we say- In Their Right Place, if you catch my drift, old boy, ha ha.. Oh darling, darling Paul, if you still have a drop of that exquisite liqueur from Bordeaux that I gave you at your New Years bash in Scotland, I'd be frightfully thankful.. oh that would be lovely. Back to the awful, TERRIBLE business at hand - I have made a small huge list of possible contenders for said imbecility. Please peruse it for a moment, while I select a log from your exquisite range of kindling. |
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Oh dear Paul, it really is an exquisite range of logs! I can hardly choose. Really top-notch. Bravo, old man! |
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oh dear. it would seem.. a gentleman from the Americas has entered the room. I- I- I don't know what to do! |
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Yes, Paul, fortunately I am full of vim as my trip South West to visit the Swanseaites was cut short by them burning the candle at both end last night and hence calling off sick. As I was feeling less than tip top myself this morning, after imbibing no slight amount of liquor yestereve, I declined an invitation to a weekend retreat to a friend's cottage for the lit. festival at Hay-on-Wye. |
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Come now Alex, I know they are brash and bold in nature, but some of them are all right chaps, deep down, under the bluff and bluster. |
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oh hah hah hah! Such a.. quaint way you have of expressing yourself! Oh very charming. |
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*nods nervously, starts sweating slightly* Um.. if you say so, young sir.. |
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Ah, I've always found the company of a Welshman to be extremely gratifying - they are always so full of their delightful anecdotes and homely remedies. *sips port and pulls on his pipe* Now, let me see this list....yes...yes...well she is definately not imbecilic, but this Confederate swine most certainly deserves the wearing of the Dunce cap. I say, you've really chosen a gorgeous log for enflaming, look at that deep orange flame emanating. I feel quite Religious just looking it - excellent choice, Alex, perfect choice. *pulls nose and takes another drag* |
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What is remarkable about my little tale is that it is all utterly true! Hows about we have Marlowe's housekeep finsih the lattice work on this tart and we join you fireside? |
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Oh do excuse me Paul, I was mesmerized by the beautiful fire crackling on your lovely, big, fat log. Yes, concerning the list.. what about this one.. oh, if you'll pardon me, I have to say this - I do really think he is a a person of the most terrible sort. Oh and that one thinks she can fool us all into thinking she's a man- I mean, really. What a frightful bore. *takes of glasses, starts cleaning them with an embroidered handkerchief* |
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*suddenly walks out of the fireplace HA HA ! MOTHERFUCKERZ !! I HAVE BOTH OF YOU NOW !!! LETS DANCE ! |
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I was actually enjoying reading the snob talk until you felt a need to ruin it. |
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Your honour demands satisfaction. Gentleman a duel! |
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wheres the glove ? |
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Mr Spierts, I would be honoured to be your second if you should choose to seek reparition in the manner suggested by our Chilean friend. |
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no satisfaction when sword is around. |
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*chokes on a thick ball of smoke* I say, how did this one get on the list? They are simply the most chortlesome and enlightened individual to be found meanding through the avenues and boulevards of Xltronica! This must be rectified before there is a scandal in the village! Mrs. Presley, the village gossip, will besmirch this young man's reputation for sure if this list is not kept strictly confidential! |
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I must protest at the presence of a Polack by the fireside! Please find the butler, and have him escorted to the stables! |
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My dear Hyak, it is of course, Mr. Spierts' right, as the offended party, to choose the manner in which this dispute shall be settled. Knowing your predilection for the blade I imagine he will choose for some other means of settling this. Should, of course, he elect to engage in a duel at all... |
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If you'll forgive our slavic chum his ill temper and preponderance to whip out his sabre you'll find he has some rattling good tales to tell. |
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Very well then. Despite duels not being my cup of tea I choose to wage war against this obviously depraved individual. So be it. |
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..if one places the words in the right order, hah hah hah! |
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so you should say that straight to me |
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Sir, your journey from this mortal coil shall be hastened by the hand of Dixie! |
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you find this funny, dont you ? good its allways better to know your enemy |
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Oh my dear Paul, they may seem to be all fine and dandy, but surely also you can see they are as thicks as two planks! Pardon me, but we cannot allow people of such a nature to keep bringing down the average intelligence of the board. It just makes no sense and is bad for morale. |
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Oh dear, I do believe the small agressive man is taking things a bit seriously! This must be the foreign sense of humour one hears about so much. |
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My chosen means of settling this indifference will be the lance. An elegant yet powerful companion in battle that will make short work of you, my Polish fellow visitor of this wonderful place. May the best man win! |
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Gentlemen, gentlemen, this fireside is a place of the intellect, of wit, of fine company, finer cognac's and bawdy relocations of events that took place on foreign shores, in state bedrooms and the digs at King Alfred's. We'll have no blood spilt, only inferior wines and tears of laughter. |
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*kicks the door down and guns down both Mr Spierts and Mr Charlton.............blows down the barrel of the gun* All in a days work! ;) |
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you are allowed to take lance, hovewer, i will stay with my sword. it should be better for you, due to difference between blades of these fine weapons. and one more thing - please take this glassy fat qrter poor fella out of the battlefield, im worried he could be hit very strongly by mine bad english, these broken words like to fly in weeird directions without control |
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He can't he's dead! |
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An excellent choice sir, but for now, shall we put aside matters of war until dawn the 'morrow and enjoy the civility and companionship of a gentlemans gathering? |
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Damn it men, who invited Bunnell to this gathering? |
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He can't he's dead, and you have a bullet wound to the shoulder!! |
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* puts seiji kabuto and mempo on so, where do we begin ? |
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Dear Alex, you are right - I was being too lenient. There must follow a general purge of the membership! I propose a version of the great fox hunt that papa used to host to such great acclaim! We should weed out the dullards and the nitwitted among us, and set the hounds on them! *Takes an excited, deep draw of his brer pipe* By God, Yes! This must be done post haste! Let me don my jodhpurs and felt hat and let us depart for a midnight hunt! |
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Oh bugger this. I'm off to the Gentlemen's Club. |
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*points to horse drawn carriage* This way please! |
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If this tiny corner of civility is to be overrun with bloodletting and nudity nary a score and ten minutes after its inception, what hope the barbarous nations of the east, or of our own inner cities? |
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Very well then, sir Charlton! However, as much as I'd like to stay and utterly enjoy this gathering you speak of, at this moment I'd prefer to hit the proverbial hay. I wish you all a very nice and satisfying night! |
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Oh! Excellent plan! While the gentlemen here try to kill eachother, we shall ride tonight! |
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*fires another shot, to do a proper job* |
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*watches Marlowe and Qrter climb into the horse drawn carriage, and slaps the horses ass hard, and it gallops off down the cobble road at high speed towards the cliff top* :O!!!!! |
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