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VLetr
from London (United Kingdom) on 2004-05-27 05:31 [#01210053]
Points: 793 Status: Regular
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By Lloyd Schumner Sr. Retired Machinist and A.A.P.B.-Certified Astrologer
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20) You're growing tired of the same routine week in and week out, but, hey, that's a three- to nine-year counterfeiting sentence for you.
Gemini: (May 21—June 21) You'll be awakened Wednesday by jackhammer-like pains in your skull, which will turn out to be a singularly apt simile.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22) When your worst enemy meets her demise under the wheels of a cement truck, you'll be happy you made the effort of enlisting 16 people to help get it into her bedroom.
Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22) It turns out that "different" may be followed by "than" as long as the word introduces a clause, but that doesn't mean you have to like it.
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22) The discovery of long-lost aviatrix Amelia Earhart will leave you with a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23) You're honestly trying to rid yourself of preconceived ideas, but it seems to be slowing down your day-to-day life.
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21) Sometimes it feels like true happiness slipped past you in an instant. In reality, it crept by slowly, taking extreme care not to be seen.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21) You should explore new conversational tactics. Trapping people in a pincer formation of battle tanks is proving socially awkward.
Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19) You won't be acting especially smug when it happens, but a 100-mile-per-hour sandstorm will still wipe that smile right off your face.
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18) It will be difficult to persuade people to listen to your arguments, but you're profoundly certain that there are things a Klingon commander would simply never say.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20) There's an adage that says it's better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it still comes as a surprise that those are your only choices.
i love the onion.
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VLetr
from London (United Kingdom) on 2004-05-27 05:34 [#01210057]
Points: 793 Status: Regular
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*whoops
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2004-05-27 05:40 [#01210062]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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Cancer: (June 22?July 22) When your worst enemy meets her demise under the wheels of a cement truck, you'll be happy you made the effort of
enlisting 16 people to help get it into her bedroom.
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