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uzim
on 2004-03-24 15:09 [#01116601]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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hokus pokus abracadabra li kuli macci seg-hiya-puli poi poi pu pu plasma miyu miyu culi fuli yungo mi tubi dibi shazam..., etc., were we saying last time you were or weren't here. and then the rain fell and a rainbow too and magical stars of power deafened the world and the silly nerdy guy who was promoted wizard in these ancient times said he would make it ten times longer the next time. (do you remember? no... i bet not. / or do you?) of course it's like everything that seems so far away from today, you think it's no use worrying, maybe you won't even reach this time it seems so far - but then you realize it's just about to happen, and then... well, usually nothing but it makes you think. or not.
ok, let's come back to our story. what was it again?
the boy and the frog. (no? it wasn't that... nevermind.) once upon a time, there was a boy. the boy was an airhead, so he jumped into the lake, thinking he could swallow a magical fish with his ears that would turn him into a guitar-playing hero... he dove, he drowned and he died. but the strange chemical radiations of an infected bicycle inside the polluted lake turned his brain into a strange amoeba-like being... this being was called Anrold, for no apparent reason. the name was like carved in its head. (....head? where?) - and it remained a disgusting brain-amoeba living thing for two weeks, living out of the dead fish in the lake - until the day where a random girl who was passing by inadvertently let a packet of yeast fall into the lake. the lake then imploded and the brain-amoeba like thing turned into a monstruous enormous frog!! which didn't play any guitar at all. and couldn't even sing well.
- waaaaahhh!!! a monstrous enormous frog!!!!!, exclaimed the random girl.
- ribbit, croaked the monstruous enormous frog. - waaaaahhh!!! the monstruous enormous frog said ribbit!!!!!, exlaimed the random girl.
- ribbit, croaked the monstruous enormous frog. - waaaaahhhh!!!! the monstruous enormous frog who just said ribbit 6.8 seconds ag
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uzim
on 2004-03-24 15:09 [#01116603]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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o said ribbit again!!!! - ribbit, ribbit, croaked the monstruous enormous frog. - waaaaaaahhh!!!! the monstruous enormous frog who were only saying one ribbit a few seconds ago just said two ribbits!!!!!
- ..... - waaaaaaaahhhh!!!! the monstruous enormous frog just emitted points of suspension!!!!
( at this very point of the story, the scenarist died. and several divinities had a curry together in a restaurant in another world. )
- ..... - do you want to eat my left leg, monstruous enormous frog??
( the monstruous enormous frog ate the random girl's left leg. )
- waaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! the monstruous enormous frog ate my left leg!!!! i'm going to buy a new one now!!!!!, exclaimed the random girl, and then she went to buy another left leg for herself. but she forgot about the yeast.
meanwhile, Jikarl Marndrix, a bulletproof philosopher from the XXVIIth century, was writing a book about the letter L. and he was talking to his secretary, but he didn't have a secretary.
- why did you spill coffee on my sheets?? you don't even exist and coffee doesn't even start with the letter L! it doesn't even have the letter L in it!! you should be ashamed of yourself!!! .... what? what do you say? ...... oh, nothing! you're too ashamed about it ...... yes, i agree. no, no, i still like you, you're not fired. thanks god coffee is transparent nowadays, otherwise my book would have been ruined. ah, let's eat my previous book for dinner tonight, yes, let's do that!
a few hours after, Jikarl Marndrix decided to save the world because eating his book had given him courage.
he met the random girl going the leg shop, but they didn't know each other. so she bought her leg, put it on and didn't even notice him.
- hello, he didn't say. - hello, she didn't say either.
the end.
.mih eciton neve t'ndid dn....
the un-end. let's continue.
a witch suddenly appeared in the sky and cherry blossom petals fell from the clouds of the sunset and it was all very beautiful.
om
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uzim
on 2004-03-24 15:10 [#01116608]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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....and it was all very beautiful.
om namah narayana, sim salabim bamba saladu saladim, she said, and giant fireworks fireworked the sky too and a remix of some very nice kind of music drowned the sonic environment of the world. but since she was drunk, André Rieu mutated into a killer rabbit. he killed lots of plants and old people, but only half of them ressurected because there was a lack of ressurecting pills in the world... so the hidden son of the brother of my neighbour Totoro and a transexual genetic clone of Alexei Pajitnov in another dimension came to life, took a shotgun and said these words of un-wisdom: "hasta la vista, baby!" before shooting the evil Andrérieubbit. then he was shot by a judge for violating some sort of copyright or whatever.
the witch, after having watched these funny events, decided to read a book and fall asleep. she was really pretty, and her eyes were of the colour of the nightsky in Pluto. but the book got away, since books prefer frogs.
the book found the monstruous enormous frog almost dead in a quagmire...
it was very sad and tragic, but things are like that sometimes in real life.
the book shed a tear and its pages turned into a kind of magickal white powder, tasted like aspirin. and then something incredible happened. we will never know what, though.
- - - - - -- --- - - - - - - - -- - - - - --- - - - - - -- - - -- - -- - - -- - - - - - -
part III: bunnies jumping. bunnies jumping across the river. bunnies dancing around the world. bunnies are all charged with TNT. the spirits of Qukajama must fuck the evil bunnies of hell to death and love the good bunnies of somewhere else.
verse 42-6: where is my mind? whooooo where is my mind? it is in the briefcase! yes! the briefcase said God! the briefcase-se-se-s-e-es--se-se-...
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DeadEight
from vancouver (Canada) on 2004-03-24 15:10 [#01116609]
Points: 5437 Status: Regular
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WHOO!
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uzim
on 2004-03-24 15:10 [#01116610]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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chapter II: ...and then the bird turned the wine into hell and the bread into a glass of something. and the panda took a dildo and brandished it towards the sky and yelled "meuhaheueuhehahhaaaaa!!!!! maheuhaaaa!!!!!!!! amamahaheuuheu!!!"
at least that was said in the remix of some kind of holy book, around the year 5049. of the Kiriyama calendar.
: it keeps moving... it keeps coming... it keeps on were the first words of the reincarnated green grass.
/ / . ; ; ::: ;:;/ ;: /:;: :/ . ..// .//././../ /.././././. /.
" sexy witch versus the three rice grain warriors ":
once upon a time, there was a sexy witch living in a giant teapot. (no, not you, i mean...) - and she was doing some tri-dimensional crosswords, when suddenly an alien in another part of the multiverse decided to blow rice puffs into the earth!!
so three rice grain warriors knocked at the door of the teapot and decided to mug the sexy witch because they were not very nice.
but the witch had a time traveller engine, so she got back in time and prevented the alien from another part of the multiverse from kissing an egg. afterwards they sang and a hologram of Thom Yorke flew over a wasteland somewhere in India.
no, i don't have pictures, sorry, but you can draw them by yrselves and send them to someone in the world.
a random guy on a bike met Jikarl Mendrix five days later. he (the random guy) had lost a leg too. but the shop ran out of legs, so he took a wooden stick instead. and that's how pirates came back to life in the year.... i lost count. anyway, Jikarl Mendrix was the first person to recognize the first of the last pirates of the world. he wrote a book about that, too, but forgot to save the world.
lots of eyeballs were sucked the very next day.
and laser beams, too.
random guy and random girl then didn't get married or anything, but met in a field of hay and they drunk cinnamon and talked about how life were in the XVIIth century.... yes, they had a very important secret to
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uzim
on 2004-03-24 15:11 [#01116613]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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keep. and someday, somewhere, the wooden boat would finally sail.
ESCHATON: that was the final word of it, and no one knew what came afterwards. well, people knew, but they had been swallowed by a warp to another dimension. i thought, that couldn't happen here........
ama kuci gummiko icca meqchia anda. amii norla makita naya.
she grinned, she kissed and disappeared. and the night was full of frogs and comets.
they all watched her rise to the sky again. a guy from the polytechnical school was inspired by this and wrote an equation which was very equationnal. another guy which was a teacher didn't say anything and didn't care. ghosts flew all over the moon. a kangaroo jumped inside a tree and wrote a novel about a private detective in Egypt. the last one to go back home was Emilie, an albino ghost. she laid down on the grass and started dreaming again, since she had been in town during all this time. "phew", she sighed with relief, "for a minute there, i lost myself.......................
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