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 Now online (1)belb ...and 435 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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..i'm paranoid and dizzy and full of fear this very moment and i don't really know why. ok, dizzyness comes from being a little ill but the fear i don't know. and i'm not a fucking 17 yr old nerd without a life i'm a busy twen with anything (almost) i could ever wish for and now i sit here with half a beer and am afraid of future in general and even the need of getting another beer and hence the need to stand up makes me shiver and all in all i do not know how life can go on and i HATE it when people say 'discuss.' i just hate it, it's like throwing a sausage to a dog and im not a goddamn dog nfuck |
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are you stoned? |
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shit man... no good. I hope by the time you finish your brew you feel better! I hate that discuss shit too. |
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no i'm sober. just drank half a beer but that didn't change much. thing is, shall i go for an academic career and become a nomade, working like every few years on another continent? |
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obviously |
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how would you go about doing that? |
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aquagak - obviously what? going for that career? Alfred - just by going on with what has been the main part of my life the last years: doing physics (theoretical, that is) . |
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(i sent you a mail, btw.) |
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ohh it's gone... :) i think. |
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physics? I couldn't do physics... just watching the learning zone I get freaked out, the universe and microns and electrons and twin electrons on either side of the universe and stuff... whooo |
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the thing is - i do perfectly fit into this world. but on the other hand, it consumes me like no other thing ever consumed me, i cannot go to sleep without having some scheme of a calculation in my mind, every moment i want to go into it deeper - which is a good thing at times - but i cannot turn it off |
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excersise and good food (I can't talk, I tend to just drink too much when i'm stressed) |
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I think you finnlly saw the LIGHT. Yes your life is worthless, you are not some special butterfly, most people are assholes, this world is a shitty place to live. Suicide is not an option, its the soulution |
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nah monoid ... wrong.. i tried to do that once with 13, just a call for attention usually. lol i'm not a special butterfly haha but the world in general is a beautiful place and i do enjoy life |
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But deep down inside you....you know that this is not true....and that you are lying to yourself..... :( |
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i hope you get better soon... i know this kind of feeling i think ( except that i not feel like i fit into this world at all : ) )! i'm also is the same - i'm doing studies without nothing too much if i'll manage them or not, without nothing what to do with this thing i'm doing (japanese at university) - i'm still thinking, like when i was a child, that i'll "wake up from reality" someday and be alive in a dream, and all this life i have dreamed would have been nothing but a weird dream! |
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Cheffe1979 you'll regret not doing what you want to do now when your older. I'm 20 now but If I could go back in time and hit on a ton of chicks. Who cares if they shoot you down? Take risks now cause the older you get the less you can take :| If I were you I'd stay on good terms with your folks so you don't have to move out so soon, then go have sex with a lot of girls : ) If not have sex with a lot of gears then play a lot of playstation. The grass is always greener on the other side my friend. |
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" I WOULD hit on a ton of chick" Im kind of drunk today don't mind me ... |
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hehe i shall think about that |
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haha ... no. i have felt like that for too long say from 13 to 21 but thats just not the state of mind in which things work out eventually. although i'm puzzled most of the time about what to do |
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have a wank |
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OH YEAH! |
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Exercise ot extremes, you tend to sleep very well afterwards (provided you haven't pulled anything and warm down over a long period to stop you feeling on edge) and when you wake up you feel a lot less stressed. The only time this doesn't work for me is when I'm literally too busy to exercise (near deadlines). |
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