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 (nobody)...and 248 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614155 Today 7 Topics 127544 |
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Make up ways to piss off people and act like a twat around the work place. For example Walking up to the boss and calling him "Pal" before telling him his work isnt up to scratch. |
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Or making loud random quack noises! |
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Or what about covering your workspace up with army camoflage |
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just before a big meeting, fill the room with chairs...or write the boss' name on the table with post-it notes.... |
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tell all the staff that if theres a fire, they have to meet up in the boss' office....then hit the fire alarm |
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Go to a meeting wearing novelty large spectacles |
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Answer every question beggining "well you know what they say!" |
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tell the new guy that its 'swap jobs' day, and that he has to be the boss for the day, and tell him his first job is to fire someone of your choice.... |
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hehe |
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Walk up to the boss and tell him he can "shove the job up his arse" then pause for 5 seconds, laugh and say "hehe i'm only fucking with ye big man" |
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call tech support and tell them everyone picks on you and you are lonely.... |
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Call tech support to tell them that your calcultor is running out of batteries |
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Arrange an appointment with the staff counsellor to tell him or her that you find it difficult to squeeze a oiss out in the urinals when other colleagues are standing nex to you |
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Post a happy 18th birthday banner up above the bosses door |
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tell the new guy its fancy dress tomorrow if the new guy asks where the toilet is, give him a load of directions that evenutally end up at the office of the head of the building when everyone is at lunch, wear down their pencils till they are all stubs call tech support, tell them your going to get married but your getting cold feet, and ask them what advice they have.... tell someone under you they have to fire everyone under them and, the instant he fires them, swoop in and save the day by firing him instead. |
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LMFAO @ you know what they say.... just be the boss.... think it's mandatory that you're a total jackass |
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hang up posters of celine dion in your boss' office tell the new guy that 'mr johnson' wants to see them in his office, and direct him to a door you know is always locked, and tell him to wait, he'll be out in a minute... just before a meeting, draw a crude picture of the boss on the board, and put his signature at the bottom if anyone goes to shake your hand tell them 'you wouldnt do that if you knew where they've been' |
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My workmate John and I were working the night shift doing backups and our corporate midiframe office space had wall to ceiling glass and blue walls. SO we got busy one night drawing tropical fish, colouring them and stuck them to the walls - instant tropical fish aquarium... We also used to colour in labels and stick them on the tapes and watch them go round in the tape drive. |
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Leave your bosses e-mail adress EVERYWHERE on the web |
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Or you could not turn up to work, ring in and use some of these |
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Make an announcement across the intercom without disguising your voice asking yourself to see yourself. giginger: would giginger please see giginger. Thank you. |
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haha |
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walk over to a girl eating her lunch at the desk and discuss what you thought was a lump on your testicle, but after further examination was nothing at all, ask her what she's got for lunch and leave with the phrase ' still you can never be too sure...' somewhat based on david brent |
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say "well, there you go" a lot. that would piss me off. that does piss me off. its like fuck you i can't even be arsed to think of anything to say but instead of saying nothing i have to have the last word so ill say "well, there you go" just to annoy you. |
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tell the receptionist she doesn't sweat much for a fat girl. |
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Just a tad based on the brentmeister leonid |
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ooh! |
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Say, "To be honest with you", as a prefix to what you're saying, even though it doesn't disadvantage you in any way and doesn't help the person you're talking to. For example, "To be honest with you, it's raining today" as opposed to somewhere it makes sense, "To be honest with you, the more expensive one isn't worth the extra cash, I'd go for the cheaper one myself". BTW: Good Avatar Bob McBob, I really like Zatsu Ongaku. |
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Pcik up an empty water-cooler bottle but make out its extremley heavy till someone goes to give you a hand, then drop it! |
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Christmas Partie: Letter to the Office APPOLoGy When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a "dirty son of a bitch" to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office Christmas Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today and as this is my last day, I'd like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I would prefer speaking to everyone personally, but all of you seem to go deaf and dumb whenever I try to talk to you. First, to our dear and beloved boss, I am sorry for all the things I called you Friday afternoon. I'm very much aware that your father is not a baboon, nor your mother a Chinese whore. Your wife is a delightful woman, and my story of you buying her for 50 cents in Tijuana was strictly a figment of my imagination. Your children are undoubtedly yours, too. About the water cooler incident, you'll never know how badly I feel about it, and I hope you didn't hurt your head when they were trying to get the glass jug off. To Mary, I express my deepest regrets. In my own defense, I must remind you that you seemed to enjoy our little escapade on the stairway as much as I did until the bannister broke and we fell eight feet to the second floor landing. In spite of the rupture you incurred when I landed on top of you, I am sure you will admit that when we landed it was one of the biggest thrills you have ever had. Sam, you old cuss, you've just got to forgive me for that little prank I played on you. If I had known you were goosey, I'd have never done it. It would have been a lot worse if that fat lady hadn't been standing right under the window you jumped through. She really broke your fall a lot. People have been killed falling three stories. Gene, I regret telling the fireman it was you who turned in the false alarm. But, of course, I had no way of knowing they would make such a bad report of it. Those fire hoses sure have a lot of pressure don't they? An |
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And the water is cold!! Don, I know how you must feel about me. Opening the door to the broom closet suddenly must have startled you and Millie quite badly, and to think how hard you bumped your chin on the shelf when you bent over to pull up your pants, it makes me sick. We'll have to get together for dinner some night after the dentist finishes your plates. Nancy, the only excuse I can offer for stealing all your clothes and hiding them when I found you passed out in the ladies room, is that I was drunk. Also, I want you to know I was very embarrassed when I couldn't remember where I hid them and you had to go home in that old sofa cover. Running your falsies up the flag pole was a bit too much, but like I said, I was a little drunk. To all of you, I am sorry. Setting Jan's panties on fire seemed funny at the time, and it makes me sad to hear that her husband is divorcing her because of it. Urinating in everyone's drink was in bad taste, and not telling them about it until all the drinks were gone was even worse. Now that I have apologized to all of you and know that I am forgiven, I will do my darnest to come to the picnic...... |
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Oooh, daredevils. Ceri I like yours :) |
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