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 Now online (1)dariusgriffin ...and 565 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614124 Today 3 Topics 127542 |
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Break me and leave me fallen time is all you've lost what did i lose? my trust,my love and a part of my soul. on your destructive quest sex was your only goal This feeling,pushing up my spine, bubbles on my shoulder blades through my neck,and into my brain a thought forms, and grows twisted and mishapen boiling red and shades of black in its glory then it bursts,and melts blinding me and all i can see is the end With my shrouded mind i wander my blurry vision falls on you i can feel it pushing,bubbling,rising An explosion,tension is released your life falls to the floor like rain and suddenly no pain improve it. -A- |
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man that sucked... there was only like ONE line that ryhmed *shakes head* ;) |
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so,improve it, wank-chops :P |
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it makes you numb, does it? |
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:cries: wank-chop... I havnt been called that since elementry school... thanks for bringing back those bitter memories! *sobs* |
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was it just for the sex for him? |
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huh |
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*sniff* |
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teenangst poetry |
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Im going to go take a shower and be angry at all people over the age of 19 , and everyone else too really.except me cause i rule supreme. |
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someone should set up a post for anon and key_secret: they'd be cute together i tell you |
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whats with 19: you're profile says youre 15 |
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none of you are very good at improving things...or being nice. |
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Here's My Poem Remix: DIE DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARD SEAL |
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i'm sorry, i thought it was just a poem and you had improven yourself we all wish you all the best, take that and have a nice hot shower |
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lol to the remix |
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thanks :D lol , better than mine... Big- no noo noo u've been mean , and you can't fix it now. |
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no you're kidding! too curious maybe you're not being clear anyway i ask a direct question to you're poem, which is indiscrete because it has to say what is sais, but you cant blame me for asking and on the other hand you ask a answer to the poem |
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i didn't acctually understand a word of wat u said then, big. |
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As a founding member of the Amateur Reading, Spelling and English (A.R.S.E for short), we gather poems from all the top new poets of our time for our annual book. I'm happy to say this young man has made the grade. Great Job! |
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okay then: where the hell have i been mean |
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Ahhh Anon. Are the others being nasty to you? Its not fair is it. |
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I'm not a man!!! meaney! you're all just too goddamn mean,so mean it's untrue |
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promo can take the heat |
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*handle with care* |
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:| don't be patronising it's meeeaaannn:( Big - just in geral , i felt you were man but don't worry im a big girl - i don't oee in my pants - i wont cry , i'll cope. |
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Ahhh Anon. They're just so nasty and rude. |
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anon, Who said I was being patronising? Now you've upset me. (I'm now crying). |
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ahh nevermind, it's ust a poem.i didn't want to know what u all though tanyways - just helpfull hints on improving my obviously shit writing sills. |
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me1 cause you are! lol |
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you're wrong: i wasnt, i would never actually i am a man though |
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Okay well , im going to cook my nummy din dins , and leave you all till a later time today as i have to go out with my friends who love me Bye bye! -A- |
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anon, No genuinely I understand. People can be pretty patronising when you're a teenager. Fact is when you get older you tend to forget all this. I think you have to be superior in your thinking and just forgive those who are patronising to you because most likely when you reach their age you'll be doing the same thing. :-) |
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doubt it - patronising is my pet peeve.I'd never ever do it to anyone , unless i HATED them... it not just cause im young its cause it's rude and judgemental. Cya -A- |
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that's a good attitude, ms. i salute you! |
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anon, You responded as I expected you would but you wait and see. But thanks for the reminder anyways. |
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Netlon Sentinel, Its too tempting but I better not rise to the bait. He he he. |
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contrary to what my name implies, im not a big boy *sob* |
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yeah i had the same thing :) we think completely opposite in every thinkable way :) honestly, i like this. if you were a girl we should date and make a mess of our lives ;) |
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Lol. Well they do say opposites attract. |
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you're not saying you're a girl, are you? ;) |
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Of course bloody not. Lol. |
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i hate fight and misunderstandings. please say its alright anon, even though you might think i'm not being honest |
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i wont be mad at you anon there's nothing to forgive anyway, just a misunderstanding =) ? |
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i thought 'improve it' was part of the poem here's my tip: boiling red and shades of black pushing,bubbling,rising doesnt mean anything to me, when you write for an audience you have to explain everything, in the poem that is, that's a tip a read from a dutch poet, ilja lenard pfeijfer, i for myself personnaly believe more in the poet bernlef and want exactly the opposite and want all the words exploding with meaning as to sharply find what i'm looking for; my poems are just diary like stuff in which i sharply want to express my feelings about something or get to an enlightend point, so to say. having said that, i'll post a poem, but it's in dutch, it's not about death but about enlightenment 'verlichting' (which means relief too) i'm not a close reader myself and therefor can hardly read poetry (and therefor also dont know if this poem is any good), the poem does have a lot of meaning for me, it should be read as a litany, with haunting rhythm, especially the last five lines (if you like it, post it as 25-year-old-angst): Ik schraap het vlees van mijn bot en schuur ook dit uiteindelijk weg. Blijft over 't centraal zenuwstelsel: pijnlijk bloot en rauw. Reeds lang etterend, alles erin gestouwd Scherp scheen de wanden; vergiftigd mijn bloed. Mijn zenuwstelsel zweeft nu vrij: Eén met de kosmos, zuig ik alles op, begrijp alles. Dij ik uit in waar ik oplos. |
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