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 Now online (1)big ...and 384 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614130 Today 2 Topics 127542 |
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Blowjob according to Urban Dictionary --- 01 - Source: Want_It_Deep Something girls rarely perform to the level of a man's satisfaction. They often misconstrue the act of just putting your love rod between their lips. Girls should be mindful of that fact that a proper blowjob consists of taking your shaft deep down into their mouths until the tip of your shaft reaches the back of their throats and hold it there for a few seconds. This may cause some gagging, welling of tears, but they should learn to take it. Then they can slowly withdraw it, but not completely. This should be repeated as neccessary until the man shoots his hot, thick load down their throats, at which point, they should swallow with relish and joy. This too, may cause some gagging, resulting in some of the load to be spewed out of their nostrils, but they should learn to enjoy the experience. A proper blowjob is especially satisfying after the man has been pumping the girl's ass with it for a while and the girl takes the pleasure stick directly from her ass to her mouth. Man, that bitch gave me such a good blowjob lastnite that when I woke up this morning, I found the bed sheet stuck up between my ass. 02 - Source: Max An occupation in which one blows up balloons. The job at K-mart didn't work out so I got a job giving blowjobs at children's parties. 03 - Source: ramazz The act of using ones mouth to siphon bileous ball bilge from the snotty end of a fuk stick.... The cheap crack whore gave him a blowjob for 93 cents and half of a breath mint 04 - Source: dxa woman's hobby the only good thing this bitch can do is give good blowjobs 05 - Source: dizee To suck a man's penis. Give me a blowjob you cheap ass eskimo. 06 - Source: Doobie When a woman kneels so that her head is level with a males penis and she begins to suck it until hot cum is in her mouth, at which point she will spit or swallow. Bit |
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continiue: Bitch, get on your knees and give me a blowjob. 07 - Source: Sooper! The act of satisfying a penis with one's mouth. Ken's bum hurt from bicycling all day, so rather than make love, he and Rob decided to perform oral sex on eachother. 08 - Source: carolyn the act of inflating the penis to a size that is acceptable for fucking by blowing directly into the urethra and squeezing the balls with one's fist. because dave had a small dick, sheena gave him a blowjob to pump it up. 09 - Source: the king a female using her mouth, lips, throat and tounge to pleasure a male's penis causing him to orgasm and/or ejaculate. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh baby, go harder harder HARDER BITCH!!! no no no no deeper now! swallow it all hoe! Swallow it! 10 - Source: johnsmith 1. To suck one's penis. 2. What Women were made for. I was walking down the street, and this girl came up to me and asked if she could give me a blowjob. 11 - Source: Jim To treat a penis as a ice block, performed mainly by horny women Jenny gave Martin the blowjob of his life, and swallowed all the tasty sperm because she was hungry 12 - Source: Scandalicious (Jo-Dee) A name you call someone when you are driving and someone pulls there bitch ass out in front of you or won't stay in their lane! Pick a lane BLOWJOB!!! 13 - Source: aereilly An inflating occupation. Johnsmith couldn't get a blowjob, so he filed for unemployment. --- Key does not agree on all of the above, but some of them are indeed funny. |
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"Give me a blowjob you cheap ass eskimo." -priceless |
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blah |
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fuckign Yarrrrish thiNGS!!!! |
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oops.... that is the second time that you left the computer on and i accidently posted as you.... sorry alex! :/ |
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that's okay. I'm using Ian's now. |
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grody |
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whoa two alex(s)??? disturbing the force? |
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not that i've got something against fellatio in general, it's just the part about the rectum-to-mouth.. i mean at least rinse it off a bit first.. no girl (or guy, i guess, for that matter) should be subjected to that.. it's just.. the nast.. oh.. that, and the part about giving blowjobs at children's parties.. |
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bump... I'm bored and this topic makes me laugh a little |
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I take pride in my blow jobs.... :D |
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I do to :) |
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"02 - Source: Max An occupation in which one blows up balloons. The job at K-mart didn't work out so I got a job giving blowjobs at children's parties." great!! ^^; misogynists of entries #1, #4 and #10 can fuck off. : ) |
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never had a good one, maybe the ppl who've done it to me are real bad at it coz frankly it just uncomfortable. but i've only had a few anyways |
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meh. not my cup of humor. |
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man, you need a girl who knows what she's doing. I'll generalize and say most girls do as good a job as guys do of fingering them, so go figure. it's an art, one that's sweetest words are "honey? can I practice blowing you?" oh yeah |
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i want one |
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She no good. I am a good fingerererer though! No shit and I love fingering girls too. |
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i like going down on girls |
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hehe, you nigel and I should hang out sometime :D |
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uhh....what the..? hey my last posts looks like i'm accidentally referring to fingering men what the fuck how did i manage that? ew. I just love the looks they get on their faces when you do it well, that's the wicked thing in the world, i reckon. well one of the more wicked things. |
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lol, how did YOUR post get messed up? How did MINE come off like I wanted to...........UGH!!! in any event, I completely agree, but I am leaving this conversation before I embarass myself further. find a girl who will deepthroat and like it, and you are set forever |
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LOL thanks for the laugh :D |
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tr00! ;) |
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i need an adult! |
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hey afxNUMB, what a coincidence, i am from so. florida too! *wink wink nudge nudge* |
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i find it hard to imagine people LIKE to deepthroat... :-\ |
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hahah that mixup was great.. i liked the "i love fingering girls, too." part.. |
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Funny, my friend and I were just talking about Vero Beach :D |
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I've deep throated once...its not easy to do but this dude had a small penis :D without you boys thinking bad of me I will admit that I love giving blowjobs. It can be because i'm a leo and leo women like to please but I just like having a guys balls in my hands and him loving what I'm doing and I'm doing it right damnit! But deepthroating is tough if that is the appropriate way to give a blow job. You feel like youre gonna vomit, then its all up in your mouth so your eyes are watering and you feel like you cant go back and forth-fuck that! I'll make you cum either way :D |
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afx numb : you naughty. :0 <====8 :) |
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"I'll make you cum either way :D " oh dana... we love you here :-D but yeah... deepthroating cannot be pleasent... i gag just when im at the doctors and they want to look down my throat with that wooden stick thing... i cant imagine a big dick in my throat... uhg |
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i forget where it was... either here, watmm, or kneejerk... but someone posted a pic of a blowjob, xray ot was weird |
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haha, I'm just honest- and if that makes me loved then I'm all for it :D I'm glad you feel us(girls) pain Zeusy |
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I should have said Matt instead of Zeusy :( apology |
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NO ONE KNOWS MY NAME IS MATT! YOU BLEW MY COVER! ;) |
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NOOOOOOOOO "im a fucking idiot,im a fucking idiot" Boogie nights haha |
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hehehe *waits for someone to make joke about the "blew my cover" line* :-P |
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*waits with you* |
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Zeus: that was alberto's avatar for a while afxNUMB: i feel the same way but replace boy with girl, and balls with.. um. breasts? ps i know both of your names and feel silly writing your xltronic names. |
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You know my name too Nigel :D |
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"i know both of your names" |
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i know you know my name girl all yellin it in my ear and shit, make a brother go deaf |
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I didnt say that, Nigel did. He knows "both" your names dont forget it either sucka |
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im confused :/ |
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*feels aroused* *feels keyboard* |
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yeah.. it's nigel bivcore and i ain't no girl.. yet.... |
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*feels murray's chron-o-john* |
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yeah, nigel said he knew both of our names... you and me... and then you said, and you know mine! whatever, just fucking with ya ;) |
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