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 Now online (3)big Hyperflake dariusgriffin ...and 346 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614165 Today 10 Topics 127544 |
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....The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms" I went to a really energetic "Seafood Disco" last week... and pulled a mussel. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove." Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted. A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here." A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road." A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants." Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, straight up, no bull!" I'll get my coat |
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Hehehehehe |
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i came in my pants ...! :) |
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AHAHAHAH - oh goddamn - good way to kick off the last day of school :) |
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Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost y electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What, just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy." I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam." |
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