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 (nobody)...and 468 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614200 Today 4 Topics 127548 |
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Okat, get this. I haven't really felt anything special for a girl in nearly 3 years until now. I met a girl... she's attractive, she appreciates me for who I am and finds me quite attractive, blah blah blah... but i can't help but feel really frightened. i'm the type of person who will open myself up to people, and end up getting shit on, and will never retaliate in any way. and she has a kid.... a 3-year old. my friend said that "remember that she has a kid, you don't..." but she says that she's not asking me to support her kid, and that she just wants me to be with her. I'm so fucking scared... I'm afraid I'll screw something up or that she'll suddenly turn on me... i mean, she says she really misses me when I'm away, and that she thinks of me all the time, but I can't help but be paranoid. I think I... you know... I don't want to say it... fellow IDM brethren..... help meeeeeeeeeeee...... |
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hey.... i'm not kidding... someone give me some advice here.... |
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what can anyone say? see a therapist. sounds like you have an unhealthy fair of relationships - you could say it isn't very wise then to start a relationship with someone who has a child (extra responsebilities). just sounds like you have a pretty big problem - a nice little piece of text on a mb won't get you very far. |
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oops. fair = fear. |
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yeah, qrter... good points. but.... i REEEALLLY like her. I guess I'll just talk to her. |
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I would say unless you are ugly then you should avoid girls with kids. They are proper weird. |
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oh I believe you do. and I don't know you - I can hardly give you good advice based on the text you provided above. if you really feel as paranoid as that, get some professional help (and I don't mean that in a MY GOD YOU'RE iNsANe!!! way.. just sounds like you'll really have to work at this, together with a therapist). |
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dude fuck it, go with the flow if you like her and can tolerate having the kid around (which shouldn't be too hard unless they're one of those horror kids who should be locked in daycare night and day ehehe) just stay with her. if somethinug bad happens then something bad happens you cant shut yourself away from everyone just coz it's happened before. my gf's a bit like that. she's been hurt a few tiems and she's made a bit of a wall and I'm trying to break it down hehe (coz seriously I'm fucking harmless) |
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Oddioblender, you over analyze too much. Just for the record here's what I'd do if I were you: I see girl. Girl has kid. I go home and masturbate. |
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damn dude - i know exactly how you feel - i just *removed* a friend from my hypothecial buddy list - i always let myself get walked all over - but ive had enough of her treating me like shit while i treat her like a queen - know what i mean? so - if the girl respects you, sincerely - and understands who you are and what you believe in - then go for it |
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i dont think you should avoid her just cus she has a kid... she has a kid: that means you have to be careful, theres more responsibility involved... i guess theres a whole other little person involved indirectly but thats no reason to avoid a relationship.. if that was true single mothers would be the lonely unfarily treated people they are |
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.....is that the villan from The Professional in your avatar? man i LOVE that character..... "I haven't got time..... for this mickey mouse BULLSHIT!!!" |
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gary oldman .. what a dude [kick ass movie too] |
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When a woman has a kid, it means she felt like she found "the one", she spread her legs and then realized that He wasn't "the one". This is what humans call 'poor judgement' and I avoid these people at all costs. |
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yeah, but you have to see the unedited version -- it's a whole new story! |
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that girl's thinkin' her kid needs a half-sibling. |
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...or she found the one and he ran off ....or she didn't find the one and it was an accident.... |
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Just make sure that woman gets sterilized |
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yeah, sounds a bit harsh, to say the least, weatheredstoner. |
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what exactly are you afraid of screwing up? you need to decide what ultimately you want out of this relationship (marraige, humping, b.j.'s etc..) and try to find out what she wants (a baby's daddy, financial crutch, punching bag). this will take time (months, years) and a lot of dialogue between the two of you. after you spend a lot of time with this person, it will become more and more apparent what you need to do. as long as you are not a total ass, you won't screw anything up and if something does get screwed up, it probably wasn't meant to be anyway. worked for me anyway. |
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There is nothing you should be afraid of. If you like her great. If she turns on you find someone else. Who cares if she has a kid. I mean if you love her then who cares ? But keep in mind if shit goes bad , and you got her kid saying "Please dont go!!!!" its gonna be more weird then watching retards give each other hand jobs ! I ran in to the same problem last month. Luckly I didnt want to be more then friends, but I thought about it and I mean if I liked her who cares right ? Some chicks just want to have some fun. Go out with her for a bit, screw around and if you dont like it move on ! just remember its not YOUR KID its HERS. If your dishing out hundreds for check ups and baby clothes maybe she had another motive. Let the force guide you : ) |
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Don't girls get really loose after they push out a 7 lb baby? |
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i'm not so sure about that 'not your kid' advice. if you have any long term plans with this girl, you might as well assume you will be taking on the role as the kid's father; seems like that's part of the package, at least untill the kid is 18. if this ain't for you, then you should walk now. and the retard handjob metaphor was fantastic by the way. |
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for the record, the kid wasn't the problem. but thanks... all of you! I feel much better now, and not so afraid. I appreciate the help!!! :-) |
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some people could handle the child thing, i on the otherr hand could not. |
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