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ADVICE PLEASE - URGENT
 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-21 04:09 [#00707876]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker



advice please;

My situation. In just over a weeks time I am supposed to be
leaving Japan and moving to London. I was feeling good about
this - loads of family and friends there, and I love Japan
but it has been doing my head in a bit last couple of years.
All was well.

Saturday night: Walking to a party in Tokyo, my Austrian
mate Ambros was joking with me "I bet you fall in love
tonight and then you dont want to leave..". Hohoho I scoffed
at this - no chance.

Well poke me in the eyes with a stick - that is exactly what
fucking happened. I met the most incendiary girl of my life.
She just defies description - not only was she the best
looking girl at the party, she is probably one of the best
looking girls I have ever seen... Really interesting too -
28 years old, qualified as architect, but working as fashion
designer (she designs and makes wedding dresses amongst
other things) and part time model. She is perfect. And cool
taste in music too - not IDM stuff (that would be too
perfect) but she likes cool stuff like Pavement, Dub music
etc etc

So anyway we have a great time together and end up back at
my place - one thing leads to another and we have the most
amazing sex I have ever had. Literally, I now have some
insight into what these cheezy songs on the radio are all
about - I really just didnt know that level of intensity is
possible - really mindblowing stuff...

Not so good: in the morning I find out she has a boyfriend -
but it has not been going well for a long time, and he is
also leaving Tokyo for good in a couple of weeks! Weird
syncronicity there, and she didnt seem at all sad that he is
going.

Anyway, since Sunday I cannot stop thinking about this girl
- I dont believe in corny crap and I have never felt like
this before but I think it might be love at first sight!

But this doesnt change the situation - which is; I have quit
my job, my apartment, sold most of my belongings here and am
leaving to start a new chapter of my live on a differnt
continent in a week..

Should I jus


 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-21 04:09 [#00707877]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker




....should I just get over it, or tell her what I think, or
what?

Secondly, can I trust her? She has a boyfriend, but still
slept with me - so she has cheated once, and might well do
it again.. is this going to always bother me while I am so
far away?

ADVICE PLEASE - what the fuck would you do?


 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-21 04:10 [#00707878]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker



Sorry about double posting - can some moderator close the
other one?


 

offline nacmat on 2003-05-21 04:12 [#00707880]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker



I would go to london... if this is true love... then you two
will meet again soon... nobody knows how... but you shall
not change your life for just a night eventhough it was a
magic night... and besides... what does she feel?


 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-21 04:13 [#00707881]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker | Followup to nacmat: #00707880



Good question - I am going to ask her tomorrow - but hope I
dont sound like some kind of psycho..


 

offline ecnadniarb on 2003-05-21 04:14 [#00707882]
Points: 24805 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



lol, why would anyone want to go to London :D

Anyway...if you really think she is the one then you should
stay in Japan and enjoy cheap consumer electronics :)


 

offline KEYFUMBLER from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-21 04:17 [#00707884]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker



TokyoJo......

Its a classic story. I would consign her to the last
perfect memory of Japan and leave as planned. There are
plenty of Sushi out of the sea!

Afterall, she had a b/f and slept with you, probably after
you told her you were leaving. I´m a romantic sod with my
head in the clouds most of time and know how our brains
become mush over women.... just leave, man.... you´ll never
forget her and she´ll be that perfect jewel in your memory
box


 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-21 04:18 [#00707885]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #00707884



Good advice, Keyfumbler, but your sushi analogy is slightly
unpleasant... :P


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2003-05-21 04:29 [#00707890]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



Yes, I side with Keys on this one... the fact she has a
boyfriend means she may well cheat on you if you get ti
together. Imagine how "double whammy" pissed off you'd be if
in 6 months time it turned out she was cheating on you all
along and you'd stayed in Japan for her?

Also, if she's leaving too she would have to have equally
strong feelings for you to stay behind.

Hope it goes well for you whatever you decide to do and
don't let it tear you up mate :)


 

offline Glitch from New Zealand on 2003-05-21 04:38 [#00707894]
Points: 519 Status: Regular



hmm.. . Id say that you should lay it all out on the table
regardless of consequences.. . the worst thing you could do
would be nothing (dont succumb to the path of fear.. .
ehehehe) Id tell her that your plans are concrete and that
you feel that if she feels the way you do that she should
join you. ..

personally I wouldnt worry that she cheated on her
boyfriend.. . imo things can be over before they are
offically.. . this would be the final nail in the coffin as
far as this other dude is concerned.. . and in my experience
girls no matter how happy they are with there man are
allways looking for a trade up. ..


 

offline Junktion from Northern Jutland (Denmark) on 2003-05-21 04:42 [#00707897]
Points: 9713 Status: Lurker



see if you can move the trip to london with a week or so...

(If this was me, I'd drop everything and live on clouds, but
i'm pretty naive)


 

offline nacmat on 2003-05-21 04:50 [#00707904]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker | Followup to Junktion: #00707897



your first proplosal is very intelligent


 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-21 23:53 [#00709531]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker



Thanks for your advice guys..

Am meeting her tonight - see how she feels (probably
nothing), and then try to make a decision on what to do..



 

offline od_step_cloak from Pleth (Australia) on 2003-05-22 00:05 [#00709534]
Points: 3803 Status: Regular



Fuck it man I'd stay there with her.

Similar thing happened to me recently.
Almost exactly the same.
Mel this girl at a rave, we clicked immediately.
We are totally different in some ways (taste in music and
some aspects of personality)
but so much alike in others.
And we "fit" together REALLY WELL.

But before she met me she'd arranged to go to the UK for 6
months and there's really no way out of it.

We have 2 or 3 weeks left before she goes.

And it sucks coz I know the mroe time I spend with her, the
more we'll become attached to each other.

It's gonna kill both of us when she leaves....

6 months.... At least I know we'll be going back out when
she comes back coz I don't bother about messing around with
women much
(even though she's ordered me to get someone to "keep me
warm" while she's gone lol but I have to ditch her when she
comes back)

and even if she has flings with other people in the uk
(which i'm cool with as long as it's not anyone i know)
I know the chances of her bringing someone back are really
fucking slim...

Som yeah I know your pain (sort of)...


 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-22 00:19 [#00709538]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker | Followup to od_step_cloak: #00709534




Yeah 6 months is not so long.. I think I could handle it for
that long.. But it might be half a decade or more before I
come back to Japan (maybe I never will - might go to New
York or somewhere else after London).

Hope it works out for you with the girl. Why dont you go and
visit her in London as well?


 

offline od_step_cloak from Pleth (Australia) on 2003-05-22 00:27 [#00709540]
Points: 3803 Status: Regular



Thanks for yr concern :)
I'm optimistic that things will work out - we both seem to
be into each other.

Umm I am planning to go there (I'm in Western Australia) at
some stage but I don't have the time/money to go there in
the immediate future (ie while she's there) and I was gonna
go with my mates etc.. except they're gonna finish uni
first...

BTW I forgot to mention in my first post - fuckign
congratulations on getting the girl in the first place,
man!

Ten years though....man...that's bad...

*high five*


 

offline TokyoJo from London now, not Tokyo anymore on 2003-05-22 00:39 [#00709551]
Points: 615 Status: Lurker




Women.. I should stick to flossie the inflatable sheep then
I wouldnt be in this mess now...


 

offline od_step_cloak from Pleth (Australia) on 2003-05-22 00:54 [#00709553]
Points: 3803 Status: Regular



whoops sorry - the high five should be before the "ten
years" bit, after the congrats bit.

as for women - they're weird.

since I got the aforementioned girl I've been hit on by
other girls who I know like several times, really
blatantly.
from sly smiles to "aww I wish *I* got all the sex you're
getting" shit liek that.

weeeeeeeird.


 

offline ambsace from canaDUH. on 2003-05-22 08:25 [#00709925]
Points: 6326 Status: Lurker



girls. hooo. extra baggage.

but i'd totally stay. i dunno. i couldn't tell you why. i
just know that that's what i'd do because i tend to get
caught up in that sort of thing. s'why i'm in calgary at the
moment. i stayed for a girl that i thought would be perfect
for me. beautiful...intelligent...similar interests/music
tastes etc. yeah...things haven't exactly worked out the
smoothest. just...do whatever feels "right", i guess. or
whatever would "benefit" you the most.

haha. i got nothin'. good luck, though. =]


 


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